SING IF YOU’RE GLAD TO BE GAY By Ailsa Spindler
However, for the purposes of this article, I am going to take the song’s chorus at face value, and suggest that we should all sing, celebrate, shout and party if we are glad to be gay. Then, a step further, I contend that we should be glad to be gay. Other articles within this Cork Pride magazine recount some terrible experiences that members of the LGBTQI+ community have experienced, both here in Ireland and in other parts of the world. I do not seek to play down the discrimination, inequality, persecution, and physical and mental abuse that many have suffered. I would like to offer a counterbalance to that, and remind everyone that queerness can be – indeed, should be – a cause for celebration. There are many academic studies into the perceived benefits of identifying as LGBTQ, and one of the most repeated themes is ‘connectedness’. In modern societies, many individuals feel disconnected and isolated, a situation marked by high levels of mental ill-health and suicide. Many queer individuals have a much stronger sense of community than their straight friends. Gay men often report that their female acquaintances trust them more than they do heterosexual men. Lesbians can celebrate ‘sisterhood’ in a richer, deeper way than straight women. Bisexual and pansexual people may enjoy not being constrained to one ‘category’ of sexual attraction. DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN TO BE GAY, WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS IT BRINGS?”” “ Another cause for celebration arises from the cliché, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. Many LGBTQI+ people have had to show great resilience in overcoming negative forces, and that resilience stands us in good stead in the workplace, in family relationships, and in life in general. The LGBTQI+ world is full of high achievers, and not just in the ‘artistic’ sector – commerce and industry, science and technology, sport, and many other spheres of activity are full of successful queer people. True happiness is based on self-respect. If you don’t love and respect yourself, why should anyone else? One of the saddest things I have heard regularly while working for gay rights is the response, “do you think I would have chosen to be gay, with all the problems it brings?”. This is often said as a rebuttal to the view that being gay is a choice; but the point is, no- one chooses their sexual orientation, they just chose how to respond to it.
Being straight has its own set of hazards and negatives – all those unwanted pregnancies and abortions – but I have never heard a straight person say, “do you think I would have chosen to be straight?”. This is not just heteronormativity; many gay people have been persuaded that their sexual orientation is the more problematic one, but it is society that makes it problematic. One of the great benefits of being ‘out and proud’ is that friends and acquaintances will think of you as being ‘out of the ordinary’, ‘eccentric’, or even ‘special’. This gives a freedom which extends well beyond sexual activities, into how you dress, what hobbies you enjoy, even your choice of music. If you are already outside one of society’s more rigid constraints, then none of them hold much power over you. I suspect that this is why same-sex attraction is often associated with hedonism; queer people are not intrinsically more hedonistic than others, they are just better practised at stepping over boundaries. This is probably why so many institutions of governance and rule have sought to outlaw homosexuality – queers are harder to control! So, there are positives about being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer, intersex or just ‘different’. Over a long(ish) life of being different, here are my tips to help you become
Glad To Be Gay: be an active member of your communities - yes, plural! Not just the LGBTQI+ community, but other communities of interest; your sports club, the flower arranging society, a political group, the church choir…. In all of these communities, be as ‘out’ as you can be. Show the straights that we have lots to offer, and not all of it arises from our sexual orientation or gender identity. If there isn’t a group that you can join, start one! Some of Cork’s gay rugby players started their own club - Cork Hellhounds - in November last year, and it already has over thirty members. Engage with your local queer support group. You will find contact details elsewhere in this magazine for several organisations and groups that welcome members of the LGBTQI+ community. Join in, to ‘feel the love’ but also to share your positivity and enthusiasm for your queerness. When you are showing that you are Glad To Be Gay, the person sitting next to you might well feel inspired and encouraged. Finally, SING! I am as musical as a bar of soap, and I would never inflict my singing on an audience, but belting out (or miming to) the odd gay anthem in front of the mirror is great for your self image. I may not be Tom Robinson, Gloria Gaynor, Elton John or Katy Perry, but in my dreams.
Those of us over a certain age will remember the first time they heard Tom Robinson and his band singing about being glad to be gay. Released in 1978, “Glad To Be Gay” soon became a gay anthem, with club audiences joining in the chorus, which sounded like a simple call to rejoice in being gay. However, the lyrics of the song were about the hypocrisy of British society, the British media, and on-going intolerance, police brutality and homophobic violence – hardly a cause for celebration. The song actually had a spoken word introduction in its original form, which dedicated it to the World Health Organisation. It labelled itself ‘a medical song’ which concerned ‘a disease whose classification according to the International Classification of Diseases is 302.0’. This, of course, was the classification of homosexuality (including lesbianism) as a mental illness. The song reached #18 on the UK Singles chart, in spite of being banned from the weekly chart show by BBC, and was #1 for six weeks on Capital Radio’s Hitline.
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