WAG MORE, BARK LESS: LEARNING TO FIND HAPPINESS KARLENE BELYEA, MBA (continued)
Let’s say, for example, you are craving a coffee from Starbucks. You glance over and there’s a huge line of people waiting that’s out the door. Immediately, your thoughts begin to tell you that it will take forever to get the coffee, people in line will be unfriendly, and it will be cold waiting outside. At that point ask yourself, “What is the opposite of these negative thoughts?” Perhaps the line will go quickly, and you’ll meet a couple friendly people while waiting. It takes time to train your mind to do this but be patient. You’ll get better at it. Our negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and impulses, so try to catch them before ruining your own day. Remember that thoughts are not necessarily true. Here are two other ideas to help train your brain to be more positive. Think of 3-4 words that describe your ideal self and focus on those words 3 times a day. Put them in your phone and have them come up as an alarm to remind you. You can also try asking yourself positive questions 3-4 times a day like, “What am I incredibly grateful for right now?”, “How could I surprise someone right now?”, “How could I have fun right now?” or “How could I demonstrate love or excellence right now?” Try this for 30 days and you’ll recognize a shift in your life. The more you take action, the more your brain is conditioned to understand “that’s what we do.” 3 PROMOTE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE Have you ever noticed you can’t be angry or fearful and grateful at the same time? Neuroscience has shown us that being grateful increases happiness. Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of
and we’re wired to be empathetic. Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and related behaviors directly trigger similar emotions and behaviors in others. To the extent that they are not in your immediate family, do what you can to get them out of your life. Here are a few ways to handle certain types of negative people: • Locomotives/Steamrollers – “It’s not OK to treat me like this anymore.” • Resisters – “Which part of this do you want to do?” • Not-My-Jobbers – “I don’t want to nag but if you want to get out of here by 10pm, you’ll need to help and pick up the pace.” • Rumormongers – “Why are you telling me this? I do not wish to be involved. Talk to the person directly.” • Pessimist – “What will help you feel better about this?” • Criticizers – “Give me specific feedback.” (continued)
the University of Miami, conducted a study on the physical outcomes of gratitude. In this study, 1/3 of subjects kept a daily gratitude journal, 1/3 wrote about daily irritations and the last 1/3 wrote anything they wanted. After 10 weeks, the gratitude group was more optimistic, positive, physically active and healthier. Try creating a gratitude journal and writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every day. Over time, it will help your brain to be less negative which will make you happier. Expressing gratitude with a specific “thank you” is also a powerful way to motivate people to work harder. In addition, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude felt more positive toward that person and more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship. 4 GET NEGATIVE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE Negative people affect your entire team and lower the productivity of everyone. Negativity is contagious
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