Beyond the “BFF” :
What Friendship Looks Like for Kids Today
BY MADELINE PISTORIUS
F or a lot of parents, “best friend” meant one person: the kid who came to every birthday party, had sleepovers often, knew practically every secret and inside joke, and was basically part of the family. But does that still describe how kids think about friendship? Today, children’s social worlds may not be quite so simple. Friendships can stretch across classrooms, sports teams, neighborhoods, group chats, and online communities. Kids today may not be choosing between one best friend and many friends, but are learning to move between different kinds of friendships. WHAT DOES “BEST FRIEND’’ EVEN MEAN ANYMORE? Friendship is about much more than having someone to sit with at lunch. The Child Mind Institute describes friendships as an important part of children’s develop- ment, helping them build skills such as empathy, communication,
problem-solving, self-expression, and conflict management while gaining a sense of belonging. A child might have the school friend they see every day, the activity friend who shares their hobbies, the neighborhood friend they play with after school, the digital friend they game with, and the confidant they tell everything to. However, having more friends doesn’t neces- sarily mean having better friendships. Some children naturally prefer smaller social circles, and that doesn’t automatically mean they’re lonely or struggling socially. The Child Mind Institute notes that even one or two good friendships can be enough. At the same time, having several friendship circles can give children opportunities to explore different interests, navigate different personalities, understand different backgrounds, and build their social confidence. But there’s a difference between having people who know your
name and having people who really know you .
A child can have classmates, social media followers, and people who invite them places, and still not have someone they feel comfortable calling when they’re upset. That’s where the quality of a friendship mat- ters—having relationships where they feel supported, understood, and like they belong.
ARE BEST FRIENDS STILL IMPORTANT?
The term “BFF” might be evolving, but close friendships aren’t going anywhere. They give children a place to practice trust, empa- thy, compromise, communication, bounda- ries, and vulnerability. Researchers studying children’s friendships consider things like caring, support, companionship, and being able to work through disagreements as important parts of a quality friendship.
But that closeness can also make conflict feel bigger. If one friendship becomes a
14 COLORADO PARENT NOVEMBER 2026
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