Hola Sober OCTOBER

Dawn ‘Sex’ started being important to me, a long time ago – 50 years ago to be precise! I am 49.

A short lived sexual encounter between a woman who wanted to be a Nun and a Motorcycle Racing playboy, resulted in Me! The very public product, marking the moment when a woman in a flash of inspired lust and sexual freedom ‘let her guard down’ for a while only to pull it firmly back up when the man zoomed off back to his very single life. Needless to say, from that encounter my existence was the embodiment of sexual stigma, shame and secrets! And little did I know that this encounter 50 years ago between two people I had yet to meet, would go on to shape my whole career! Hello, my name is Rebekah Sunshine and I am an Artist, Researcher and Cognitive Behavioural Coach who specialises in all things to do with Sex; Sexual identity, empowerment, positivity, explorations, communication, confidence, desire, fantasies as well as shame, guilt, embarrassment, resentments and frustrations. When I tell people this, I am usually met with 3 excited questions – “Wow, How did you get into that!?”, “What is it exactly that you do??” and lastly usually accompanied by giggles and leg pulling “ummm I wonder if you could help me?! I am a nightmare with all that stuff!” In a nutshell, my Art, Research and Coaching is all about “What we show? What we hide? And who gets to Decide!” Approximately 10 years ago, I embarked on a photography project with volunteers who had ‘secret’ sex lives & fantasies this opened my eyes to the fact that many people, both men and women felt they had no-one to talk to about their sexual desires, needs, frustrations & fears. Many had been to therapy to talk about depression or anxiety. Many had sought help with traumatic past experiences and many had been through the rooms of Recovery groups as they worked to overcome issues with alcohol, drugs or food. However, what I was hearing time and time again, was that there was a sense frustration, sadness and resigned stuckness - ‘this is my lot, this is as good as it get’s, beggars can’t be choosers, it’s my partner’s fault or what’s wrong me!”

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