As we made the photographs together, we talked lots and lots.I asked questions about who they really are, what they really wanted from their life, why they felt they couldn’t get it and what were they going to do about it! They talked, shared, reflected and made plans. They wanted to come back week on week; as for most, it was the first time they were able to open up in a safe, accepting, non-judgemental space – where the focus was on positivity, informed and empowered decision making and getting permission for pleasure and authentic self-expression.In those weeks and months, people made changes in their lives, they listened, accepted, understood and challenged themselves to step into a life and sex life of their choosing, to not be a passive player but to gently, compassionately and confidently get to know and show themselves. Fast forward to now – I am still an Artist but now also a qualified Cognitive Behavioural and Recovery Coach - still exploring the themes of ‘ What we show, what we hide and who gets to decide’ but added to that is ‘How and when do we allow ourselves to decide?’ This further question needed to be added as many people were contacting me worried about Sex and Sobriety. They felt trapped, conflicted It was the old cliché – have a few drinks to loosen up, show an inner sexy self, be less inhibited, be confident, allow oneself to enjoy sex without feeling body conscious or as if we have transgressed our role as wife, mother, respectable lady – so what happens when we stop drinking? Who are we then? How do we let go? How do we allow ourselves pleasure, freedom, play and fun? How do we take responsibility for our needs, desires and passion if we can no longer hide behind the drink? There are many many nuances, twists and turns in this area of discussion and It is my utmost pleasure to be able to offer a non-judgemental, accepting, positive and progressive space for the readers of Hola Sober to be curious, confident and make our own choices whether to ditch our old habits and straddle that motorbike!
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