FOR WOMEN, POST-DIVORCE BOUNDARIES ARE CRUCIAL
For many women, dealing with your ex-husband after your divorce leads to many of the things that caused the divorce in the first place. This may include arguments, emotional manipulation, and destructive communication techniques that place your well-being in jeopardy. Often, women are kept in this toxic holding pattern for years because of the shared parental duties they have with their ex. So how can women effectively navigate these situations? The first step: Accept the fact that you’re not someone’s ex-wife; you’re a divorced woman. You are responsible for your children, but you’re not responsible for anything related to your ex — including their feelings or their need for validation. You’re not their verbal
punching bag or a dumping ground for their issues. You will have a relationship with your ex, but it will be limited, and not even remotely resemble the relationship you had with them prior. Contrary to popular belief, this is often harder during amicable divorces than toxic ones. Even if you and your ex are still on good terms, you need to set up the ground rules — rules that make it clear they are responsible for their own life. If they’re having trouble, or are down on their luck, they need to find someone else to deal with it. It’s also important to be respectful during communications and make it clear that you expect the same. Most, if not all, communications need to happen via emails or texts. Phone calls are for emergencies only, and if your ex calls you up out of the blue without a good reason, tell them that you’re busy and to email you instead. Set boundaries physically as well. There’s very little reason for any ex to spend time at or in your home. If he needs to get the kids, he can pick them up outside. And coming over unannounced is completely unacceptable. Last but not least, don’t communicate with your ex unless it’s about the children. The children are the only things that tie you together post-divorce; there’s no reason for him to contact you about anything else.
HAVE A LAUGH!
APPLE CIDER CHICKEN Recipe courtesy of foodnetwork.com
With cool fall weather comes the desire for hot, comforting meals. Take advantage of fall’s abundance of apples to make this savory dish.
INGREDIENTS
• 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 tablespoons butter • 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 2 pounds) • Salt and freshly ground black pepper • 1/2 Vidalia onion, chopped • 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and sliced into 1/4-inch wedges 1. Heat oil and 1 tablespoon butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. 2. Season the chicken breasts with salt and pepper, add to pan and sear until golden, about 4 minutes each side. Remove chicken from pan and set aside. 3. Add remaining butter, onion, apple, garlic, thyme, and bay leaves. Sauté until apple begins to get color and onions DIRECTIONS
• 3 cloves garlic, minced • 2 teaspoons dried thyme • 2 bay leaves • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour • 1 1/2 cups apple cider
soften, about 6 minutes. Add flour and stir for 2–3 minutes. 4. Nestle chicken back into pan, add cider, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook until chicken is cooked through, about 12 minutes.
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