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JOSEPH F. EMMERTH A LOOK AT FAMILY LAW OF SULLIVAN TAYLOR & GUMINA, P.C.
SEP 2017
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WILL YOUR CHILD SUPPORT CHANGE?
Illinois’ New Alimony Laws
As kids go back to school, parents may experience several changes. Schedules may change, transportation responsibilities may change, and even the day-to-day dynamics of your family may change. Frequently, people who are on the fence about divorce make a decision this time of year as the kids go off to school. Some of these people want to file, and they know it’s the best thing for their family and children. But they also know that, by doing so, they’re going to
But that all changed this summer with the new way that Illinois calculates child support. I’m not a huge fan of how the legislature got this done, but I do think it’s going to be better and fairer for many people. Under the new system, which began on July 1, instead of a percentage that increases with each child, the court will combine each party’s income and use that number to calculate the amount a noncustodial parent must pay for child support. Before, the income
risk paying a large amount of their income every month to someone who may or may not use it for the kids. Unfortunately, in Illinois, the parent with primary custody hasn’t always been held accountable for their actions.
of the custodial parent didn’t matter, and that meant that you could have someone barely scraping by and still paying significant child support to a custodial parent with a better job and more stable income. In most cases, the new law will result in people’s child support obligation being reduced, and if the payer has more than one child, it could mean a significantly smaller child support obligation than under the old system. I think it’s a change that’s long overdue. If you’re someone who’s been thinking about getting divorced and who might have to pay child support, it’s a much better time to do so than it was just a few months ago.
IF YOU’RE SOMEONE WHO’S BEEN THINKING ABOUT GETTING DIVORCED AND WHO MIGHT HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT, IT’S A MUCH BETTER TIME TO DO SO THAN IT WAS JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO.
If you’re someone who’s already paying child support, however, don’t get too excited. The new way of doing things will not affect you unless your child support needs to be recalculated for another reason, like a raise, job loss, or another big life change. The law was written so that the change in the statute by itself is not enough to trigger a recalculation of any existing child support agreements. This is bad news for a lot of people hoping to get some relief from a large child support obligation. If this is your situation, give us a call and let us help you out. As always, you have options. -Joseph Emmerth
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EXTRACURRICULAR OVERLOAD
How to Demystify Your Kids’ Jampacked Schedules
As school starts up again, so do sports. Your kids’ extracurricular ambitions pile up like the falling autumn leaves. Managing their schedules can seem impossible, but don’t let yourself get burned out. Here are some tips to stay sane in the midst of the extracurricular whirlwind. Consolidate all your scheduling, jotting, and activity-tracking strategies into one system. You can’t afford to be scrawling “Abby piano lesson rescheduled 9/21” on the first scrap of paper you come across. That doesn’t mean you have to be hyper-organized, but it does mean that you need to keep your entire calendar in one place, whether that place is Google Calendar, a fridge whiteboard, or the old-fashioned standby: a calendar with a lighthouse on every page. Whichever system you choose, keep it updated. Its word is law. Form parent alliances. It’s vital that you and your partner coordinate availability and who’s driving who when, but you should go further than that. Those soccer practices Jacob’s going to? There are other teammates there, and those teammates have parents shuttling them around, just like you
are. Set up carpools to manage scheduling conflicts between your kids and drastically reduce the time you spend as a chauffeur. Maintain balance. This might come as a surprise, but you will have to say no to your child every now and then. Sure, simultaneous baseball, football, and soccer seasons might seem healthy and fun for your kid, but you need to consider your own needs, as well. Many parents give their children free rein over what to choose, but limit activities to one or two per season. Make sure you weigh each child’s needs equally, and keep the rules the same for each of them.
MISCOMMUNICATING WITH YOUR EX-SPOUSE?
There’s an App for That!
Parenting is tough, and it doesn’t get any easier when you add in the challenges of post-divorce co-parenting. Although it’s sometimes a challenge to deal with other people, the biggest challenges are organization and communication. You have to keep track of homework, extracurricular activities, field trips, trips to the doctor, etc. so the ball doesn’t get dropped. Apps like Our Family Wizard make dealing with all of these things much easier, especially if you and your ex don’t do well face-to-face. You each download the app, and it helps you keep track of the things
that matter to your child’s well-being. Using the app is a good idea in any co-parenting relationship. Even if you and your ex get along fine, there are advantages to having everything in one place, instead of relying on a complicated system of texts, calendar reminders, and missed appointments. Sometimes, courts mandate that co-parents use apps like Our Family Wizard which have a subscription cost as part of their parenting agreement. If that’s happened in your case, try to take advantage of the opportunity to stay organized and on top of things. Not only can the app help you be a more involved co-parent, but it can also track how attentive you’re being. If you don’t take the app seriously, you could end up back in court. If you have questions about Our Family Wizard or other apps, especially about how they relate to your unique parenting agreement, don’t hesitate to ask us. My offices are very familiar with these applications and very knowledgeable about Illinois divorce law. If you aren’t sure how to proceed, we would love to help!
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FOR WOMEN, POST-DIVORCE BOUNDARIES ARE CRUCIAL
For many women, dealing with your ex-husband after your divorce leads to many of the things that caused the divorce in the first place. This may include arguments, emotional manipulation, and destructive communication techniques that place your well-being in jeopardy. Often, women are kept in this toxic holding pattern for years because of the shared parental duties they have with their ex. So how can women effectively navigate these situations? The first step: Accept the fact that you’re not someone’s ex-wife; you’re a divorced woman. You are responsible for your children, but you’re not responsible for anything related to your ex — including their feelings or their need for validation. You’re not their verbal
punching bag or a dumping ground for their issues. You will have a relationship with your ex, but it will be limited, and not even remotely resemble the relationship you had with them prior. Contrary to popular belief, this is often harder during amicable divorces than toxic ones. Even if you and your ex are still on good terms, you need to set up the ground rules — rules that make it clear they are responsible for their own life. If they’re having trouble, or are down on their luck, they need to find someone else to deal with it. It’s also important to be respectful during communications and make it clear that you expect the same. Most, if not all, communications need to happen via emails or texts. Phone calls are for emergencies only, and if your ex calls you up out of the blue without a good reason, tell them that you’re busy and to email you instead. Set boundaries physically as well. There’s very little reason for any ex to spend time at or in your home. If he needs to get the kids, he can pick them up outside. And coming over unannounced is completely unacceptable. Last but not least, don’t communicate with your ex unless it’s about the children. The children are the only things that tie you together post-divorce; there’s no reason for him to contact you about anything else.
HAVE A LAUGH!
APPLE CIDER CHICKEN Recipe courtesy of foodnetwork.com
With cool fall weather comes the desire for hot, comforting meals. Take advantage of fall’s abundance of apples to make this savory dish.
INGREDIENTS
• 2 tablespoons olive oil • 2 tablespoons butter • 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 2 pounds) • Salt and freshly ground black pepper • 1/2 Vidalia onion, chopped • 1 Granny Smith apple, cored and sliced into 1/4-inch wedges 1. Heat oil and 1 tablespoon butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. 2. Season the chicken breasts with salt and pepper, add to pan and sear until golden, about 4 minutes each side. Remove chicken from pan and set aside. 3. Add remaining butter, onion, apple, garlic, thyme, and bay leaves. Sauté until apple begins to get color and onions DIRECTIONS
• 3 cloves garlic, minced • 2 teaspoons dried thyme • 2 bay leaves • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour • 1 1/2 cups apple cider
soften, about 6 minutes. Add flour and stir for 2–3 minutes. 4. Nestle chicken back into pan, add cider, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook until chicken is cooked through, about 12 minutes.
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630-665-7676
JOSEPH F. EMMERTH OF SULLIVAN TAYLOR & GUMINA, P.C.
PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
630-665-7676 | www.stglawfirm.com Monday - Friday 8:30am - 5pm
1250 E. Diehl Rd., Suite 400 Naperville, IL 60563
Will Your Child Support Change? PAGE 1 INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Extracurricular Overload PAGE 2 Co-Parenting With Apps PAGE 2 For Women, Post-Divorce Boundaries Are Crucial PAGE 3
Apple Cider Chicken PAGE 3
Our Tech vs. Star Wars Tech PAGE 4
OUR TECH VS. STAR WARS TECH Yeah, They Can Destroy Planets, but Where’s the LED?
The first time you watched “Star Wars,” you probably wanted nothing more than your very own lightsaber. Of course, you were probably a child, so it’s a good thing the lightsabers in our galaxy are collapsible and plastic. Many a mind was blown by tech in the 1977 “Star Wars,” and the upcoming “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” will certainly have its fair share of cool gadgetry. But in the 41 years since the former was released, Earthlings have come up with some technology that makes Star Wars gadgets seem, well, old school.
Take R2-D2, a small robot that “beeps” and “boops” its way into our hearts. The droid carries around vital information in a credit card-sized data device. Today, a card that size could carry your entire music library. Or, better yet, that information could have been beamed over by Google Drive, not chased around the galaxy. (But where’s the fun in that?) That information includes the now-iconic choppy hologram of Princess Leia pleading for help. The tech giants in that universe worked out how to blow up planets, but they sure are short on proper display screens. The few display screens shown in “Star Wars” were simple and outdone when the first home Nintendo was released in 1985, let alone the bezel-less OLED display of the iPhone 8. Speaking of displays, check out all those clunky levers and tall square buttons on control boards in the spaceships. Touchscreens and voice command would have made the cockpits of those ships much more slick. We’ll forgive George Lucas for these shortsights in technology. After all, we can see the future of technology right in front of us, whereas he was telling the story from a long time ago.
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