REVIEW: 1. What is the illustration of the apple tree and how does it relate to marriage?
REVIEW: 1. The apples on an apple tree will only be healthy when the roots are healthy. If the apples look sick, you know the roots are sick. In the same way, a marriage will only flourish when the roots of that marriage (the heart of the spouses) are healthy. 2. Threat, manipulation, and guilt are temporary coercion tactics that never deal with the heart. In the end, the other person will feel used and abused; trust and love will decrease and the problems will increase. 3. All marriage problems are heart problems because all problems are rooted in sin. Sin still remains and has corrupted every person on the planet, making spouses selfish, individualistic, and loving themselves more than loving God and loving their neighbor (or spouse)
2. Why do threat, manipulation, and guilt fail to solve marriage problems? How might they actually increase the problems?
3. Why are all marriage problems heart problems?
DISCUSSION: 1. How have threat, manipulation, and guilt revealed themselves in your marriage?
2. Why will it be tempting, in following sessions, to listen for your spouse instead of for yourself?
2. The Biggest Problem 11
DISCUSSION: 1. Have participants give specific examples of how these play out in their marriage. You want participants to begin to see themselves with accuracy, so make sure they don’t regurgitate the “theological definitions” from the video session, but rather place themselves under the exposing light of Scripture. It may be best, especially in these first few session, to have gender-specific groups. 2. Sin is blinding; we don’t see ourselves with accuracy. For the Christian, that means we think we’re more righteous than we actually are. We have no problem seeing the weaknesses and sins of our spouse, but we are blind to our own moral failures.
2. The Biggest Problem 12
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