or want of love or because of the claims of other work. How precious to have learned in any measure to stand with God alone in the world and yet to be happy and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly! December 9, 1841 — During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day and had, a few days after, some public meetings at which, for the benefit of the hear ers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was after wards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publish ing of the report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that if we were never to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means as long as He should enable us to depend on Himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity nor had had the account of the Lord’s deal ings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feel ings of the readers and thus induc ing them to give money but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints, yet it might have appeared to some that in mak ing known our circumstances we were actuated by such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living God alone and not upon public meetings or printed reports than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circum stances, we still went on quietly for some time longer without saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the report for a few months. Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as anyone to have exposed our poverty at that time, but spiritually we were unable to delight even then in the prospect
of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did. December 18 There is now the greatest need, and only 4d. in hand which I found in the box at my house, yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required. Pause a few moments, dear read er! Observe two things! We acted for God in delaying the public meet ings and the publishing of the re port, but God’s way leads always into trial so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, “ I will now see whether you truly lean upon me and whether you truly look to me.” Of all the seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in this way up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply as during the four months from December 12, 1841 to April 12, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the report, for no one knew our determirmtion at this time concerning the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of God were looking forward to receiving further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived under His guidance. Delayed But Sure March 9, 1842 — At a time of the greatest need both with regard to the day schools and the orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, I received this day £10 from a broth er who lives near Dublin. The money was divided between the day schools and the orphan-houses. The following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this dona tion: As our need was so great and my soul was through grace truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. The post, however, was out and no supplies had come. This did not in the least discourage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means without the post or even now, though the post is out, by this
very delivery of. letters He may have sent means though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not long after I had thus spoken to my self when, according to my hope in God, we were helped, for the brother who sent us the £10 had this time directed his letter to the boys’ orphan-house whence it was sent to me. Like As a Father March 17 — From the 12th to the 16th had come in £4 5s, l l%d . for the orphans. This morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had be come exceedingly great. I left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the orphan-houses to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk which is brought about eight o’clock. On my way it was specially my request that the Lord would be pleased to pity us even as a father pitieth his children and that He would not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. I espe cially eptreated Him that He would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise reminded Him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that He therefore would not permit of its coming to nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord that I deserved not that He should continue to use me in this work any longer. While I was thus in prayer, about two minutes’ walk from the orphan- houses I met a brother who was going at this early hour to his busi ness. After having exchanged a few words with him, I went on; but he presently ran after me and gave me £l for the orphans. Thus the Lord speedily answered my prayer. Truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes in everything that concerns us. And how should our Father do otherwise? He that has given us the greatest possible proof of His love which He could have done, in giving us His own Son, surely He will with Him also freely give us all things. END.
The King's Business/May 1957
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