So, ladies, here are my tips for sober dating: 1. Get clear and totally honest about what YOU want before you start looking. Seriously, make a list, sit with it, rewire, and fine-tune it. It will save you time and most importantly, heartache. 2. Look for someone who doesn’t drink or who will respect your choice not to (most sites have a question about alcohol)~ I swiped left on the guys that answered... ” Where’s Happy Hour?” no matter how many other boxes they checked~ A LOT of swipes left here, girls! 3. Know your red flags, the minute you see one, have an exit strategy & run! These are your non-negotiables. 4. Know ahead of time what level of intimacy you are comfortable with- I asked a guy on our second date if he wanted to come in and talk for a while and he said, “No, let’s just go to bed!!!” and nodded towards the bedroom. I sent him packing. Of course, had I been drinking it probably would have ended differently, much to my regret in the morning on multiple levels. 5. Always have a phone call or two before you meet in person. You can tell a lot about someone from their voice or how they respond to you on the phone. It is a litmus test for me. No phone call, no meet-up. I discovered a scammer this way! He was removed from the site.
6. Choose a neutral place to meet for your first meeting.
7. Check out several different dating sites to see what fits YOU. There are several Sober dating sites also, but I am not familiar enough with them to recommend one.
8. Trust your gut. If it is too good to be true, IT IS.
9. Have fun. Know what you enjoy and suggest one of those activities Again be real with yourself. 10. Never, ever, ever, apologize for not drinking . It is part of you. You are a rocking badass Sober. Own it. Andrea also added, “Essentially, to courageously date = to be compassionate and true to yourself. This is powerful stuff, and it may take time. Which can be tough.” - There are some real gems out there darlings. So know yourself . Look for a partner, not a project. If you see more things to fix than to enjoy, Swipe left.
ALICE PARVIN
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