LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Heartlanders get drunk and think they’ve become stupid. Coastals get stoned and think they’ve become brilliant. “ watering restrictions. We really care. We care so much we quit using the toilet. And because we care so much more than you do we’re better people than you are. The world should be run by better people. Therefore, we can boss you around.”
and trying to sip their Starbucks Cold Foam Cascara through a blade of hay.) The Coastals know what’s good for us better than we do. They know what’s good for the whole world better than the whole world does. And the Coastals can prove it to you. It’s a bad old world, so the world must not know what the Coastals know or the world would be good. It’s not. Case closed. Another defining feature of Coastals is that they care so much more than we do. They say to us, “Oh, sure, you care about climate change. But you only care because of lawn-
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American Consequences 7
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