LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
A third defining feature of Coastals is that they are so much more successful than we are. We try to be righteous, and we almost always fail at it. They try to be self-righteous, and they succeed every time. Being a Coastal or a Heartlander isn’t purely a matter of geography. Although it’s interesting to consider why Coastals dominate the coasts. Or some of the coasts. Coastals are scarce on the Gulf Coast, uncommon on the shores of the Great Lakes, and dominate the Atlantic Coast only as far south as Washington’s Virginia suburbs. Hawaii is both lower case c and capital C “Coastal.” While Alaska has lots of coast but is almost entirely Heartland. The Pacific Coast can be explained by a saying we had in Ohio when I was growing up: “Every now and then the country gets tilted and everything that’s loose rolls out to California.” As for New Yorkers, Bostonians, Washingtonians and their smarty-pants ilk... While the rest of the nation was engaged in Manifest Destiny and the Great Western Migration, maybe the Northeast simply missed the bus. But there are lonely Heartlanders in Berkeley and isolated Coastals frantically seeking their “safe space” in Oklahoma City. The Heartland/Costal divide does not fall along strict lines of political ideology either. Harry Truman was a Heartlander. Steve Bannon is so Coastal that he’s up to his furrowed brow in a know-it-all, scared stiff, self-righteousness rip tide. Nor are ethnic, racial, gender, or sexual
orientation “identities” determinative. Justice Scalia – Heartland. Sacco and Vanzetti – Coastal. Likewise: Colin Powell/Ta-Nehisi Coates, Geronimo/Elizabeth Warren, Nikki Haley/Elizabeth Warren, Peter Thiel/Rosie O’Donnell. Caitlyn Jenner is a Heartland Trump voter. Jeffrey Tambor is a fan of Coastal Obama. And, speaking of identity confusion, Trump is a Coastal pretending to be a Heartlander while Hillary Clinton is a lowly Heartlander full of lofty Coastal pretentions.
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Speaking of identity confusion, Trump is a Coastal pretending to be a Heartlander while Hillary Clinton is a lowly Heartlander full of lofty Coastal pretentions.
Coastals are not all kooks. Among the flakes there is an upper crust – crumbs that stick together. Some sit atop the pie of finance. Heartlanders make money, but Coastals create money in their central banks, their opaque derivatives, and their cryptocurrency initial coin offerings. Some coat the bread loaf of politics. The political Coastals are devoted to social justice – a large pile of benefits to be distributed to the Heartland many just as soon as the Coastal few have grabbed and horded a large pile of their own.
8 June 2018
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