Is Someone You Know Living with a Narcissist? In Greek mythology, there’s a story of a beautiful young man, Narcissus, who, so taken with his own appearance upon seeing it in a pool, cannot break away from his reflection and eventually withers away staring at it. While it may be a myth, this story contains a seed of the self-obsessed behavior someone with narcissistic personality disorder exhibits. Narcissistic personality disorder, according to the Mayo Clinic, “is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” While someone who has narcissism may appear confident, at their core, the opposite is true. “Behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism,” continues the Mayo Clinic’s description. In part because of these conflicting feelings, someone with narcissism is unlikely to ever feel like they’re in the wrong and is unlikely to change their behavior. Those who suffer from narcissism “may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they may be unlikely to seek treatment,” says the Mayo Clinic. These combined elements make it very difficult to interact with, much less be married to, someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. In a relationship, someone with narcissism may exhibit troubling behavior: Identifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder
HELP YOUR KIDS ACHIEVE MORE THIS YEAR
WITH SIMPLE, ACTIONABLE GOALS
With every new year comes an opportunity to reinvent ourselves or start down a new path toward self-improvement. Making resolutions is a big part of many families’ New Year’s traditions, and parents often have a desire for their kids to take part in that tradition when they’re old enough. Following through on resolutions is tough, especially for young children, but with your help, they can achieve their goals. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. You are your children’s role model for almost everything, including following through on New Year’s resolutions. So, ask yourself if you follow through on your own resolutions. When you proclaim that you will read more books or finally get a gym membership, do you actually try to do it? Your kids will assign as much importance to New Year’s resolutions as you do, so by sticking to your own commitments, you can help them stay on track too. KEEP THINGS SIMPLE AND ACHIEVABLE. When your kids are forming their resolutions, their first attempts will probably be very broad. Statements like “I want to be more kind” or “I will try to help more around the house” incorporate good values but don’t include any actionable steps. Help your kids think of tangible ways to act on those goals. For example, if they want to be tidier, a good resolution might be for them to clean their room once a week or take responsibility for one household chore every day. DON’T DO ALL THE WORK FOR THEM. While it’s important for you to help your kids formulate their goals, be sure that you aren’t taking over. If they’re ultimately responsible for their resolutions, they’ll feel more compelled to keep them. Instead, suggest different goal areas they could improve, such as home, school, or sports, and let them elaborate. When it comes to creating habits, nobody is perfect, so even if your kids falter on their goals in the middle of February, don’t worry. The important thing is that you continue to encourage them every step of the way.
• Putting their partner down in front of other people, including children and family
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Not caring about their partner’s feelings or hurting them
• Telling their partner they are the one who needs fixing when their partner brings up marriage counseling
Do any of these sound familiar? Often, it’s not until our clients see the common symptoms that they realize they’ve been married to a narcissist.
The most important takeaway is this: If your friend or family member’s spouse has a personality disorder like narcissism, they are very unlikely to change. Despite what they may say, the problem lies with the narcissist. For your friend or family member’s own happiness and well-being, they need to consider their next steps so they can move toward the fulfilling life they want and deserve.
Is your friend or client in need of a guide as they prepare for divorce? our divorce strategy book can help! The book can be downloaded for FREE at ControlYourDifficultDivorce.com. If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we will mail them a hard copy of the book upon request.
2 • BrucePA.com
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