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Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
e DabberHasher (Cont'd)
A young DabberHasher eodore Quill McGill explains to onlookers the ner nuances of his glass dabberware.
have brought such a huge gigantic satchel with him? Everyone leaned forward, in wild anticipation of what lay under the curtain, hoping it wasn’t the rest of his sandwich. Without much ado, Quill revealed a volu- minous collection of glass for the common person. e cost, he announced, was the same as other Gala entries, yet, his selection of pieces from small to large was plentiful and varied enough to supply the whole town. Although durable, the sacri ce, he said, was that each item was simple in appearance. “Good enough, and enough for all,” he hazily explained to the crowd as he chewed. As the suspense reached its zenith, the judges announced their decision. e room fell into a hushed silence, broken only by the pounding of his heart and bubble of his Sherlock. en, a single name echoed through the grand hall — eodore Quill . e hall erupted into a mix of applause and gasps. Shocked, he could barely stand to ac- cept his reward of riches, a half bag of ta y, and the Governor’s Fare of live rosin sugar. However, the revelry would be short lived, for Quill would barely make it home alive. Caught on the high road between Resin- ville and Splington, he was cornered by his rivals, who sought not only the cart of dabware in his possession but the riches as well. With pitchforks and daggers he was approached but Quill would survive by outsmarting them: he tossed the rosin sugar in the middle of the small mob and made his escape as they fought to the death over it. Miraculously he returned, not unscathed, but with riches, ta y and dabware, intact. Returning to Splington Falls as the crowned champion, Quill’s shop trans- formed into a beacon of mystery and allure. e townspeople learned of the epic journey that had unfolded in the grand city, and celebrated him yearly for the award- winning dabware that he handed out freely to citizens. e Finery also began o ering Sprecher’s oats in the basement along with basic pubfare and DJs on weekends.
Of Love and War A er triumph at the Gala, a newfound sense of wanderlust ignited within Quill. e enchantment of the Highlands, and the mysteries it held whispered promises of untold adventures. While his counterparts were still focused on glass and quartz, Quill was at the forefront of metals, starting from the rudimentary tin foil applications of the time and working toward a better solution. One night a er smaking an entire handful of pure caviar he resolved to embark on a journey beyond the foothills to nd it. In the Highlands he happened upon fanciful villages with vibrant marketplaces, teeming with bizarre smaking contrap- tions, stained glass baubles and bowls, and exotic delicacies of extreme potency. Quill wandered through ancient cities, absorbing the rich tapestry of cultures and cross-eyed bong-rips unfolding before him. Everywhere he went, he sought out fellow artisans whose skills were as diverse as the lands they hailed from, matching bowls and exchanging tales, techniques and rice krispy bars. One day, in a bustling bazaar nestled in the heart of a desert city, Quill encountered a young woman named Isabella Mirage. She was already an expert extractor and wise for her years, known for creating hashes and shatter that seemed to shimmer in the sun-
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