The first thing the Grump would want from books about this enterprise is a cold, hard look at the enterprise itself – books that gave the cannabis business the business. Instead, the Grump got books full of all the usual advice for would-be founders of small businesses. You could learn the same lessons from Start Your Own Coin-Operated Laundry . Except for what to do with the coins. As Start Your Own Cannabis Business notes, “It’s harder to get a bank account for a cannabis business than for any other legal business out there.” In the matter of financing such a business, Start Your Own is as mellow – and as useful – as the tie-dye T-shirt vendor who’s been following the Grateful Dead around without noticing that they haven’t had a concert since 1995. “... consider turning to family members and friends for your initial capital.” Just in case that doesn’t work, a section called “Welcome to Hollyweed” claims, “Cannabis
investment goes well beyond traditional funding sources” and suggests taking “a look at some of the best-known celebrities who have put their money behind the industry.” The celebrities include “rapper Ghostface Killah,” “actress Roseanne Barr,” and “SuicideGirls co-founder Missy Suicide.” Addressing the issues of “Federal, State, and Local Policies,” Idiot’s Guide sounds like it’s been testing samples of its own wares. “Cannabusiness owners face tough scrutiny and mountainous regulations, but if they follow them all, they are unlikely to have problems.” The Grump found only one piece of sound, insightful “cannabusiness” advice in any of the books. Oddly this was in The Entrepreneur’s Guide , which is otherwise almost content- free, contains only 69 pages of actual text, and what you get for your $14.99 on Amazon is mostly a tout for a free website. (The Grump will insert a link to that website when – and only when – the Grump receives a check for $14.99 from the people smoking algorithms at Amazon.) Nonetheless, on page 39, there is this sentence: “Most of the people who benefited financially during the gold rush were selling picks and shovels.” Or, the Grump supposes, books titled How to Rush Gold . – TBG
The Grump got books full of all the usual advice for would- be founders of small businesses.
American Consequences 83
Made with FlippingBook - professional solution for displaying marketing and sales documents online