BARBARA By Lou Peregrine (Dec 2020) Day 10.
not drink for 10 days, perhaps you were just overreacting, weren't you? I mean, you know how that works, right? "Real" alcoholics drink every day, right? And you are capable of not drinking for 10 days so perhaps, you don't have any issues with alcohol, in the end, don't you think? I sighed. I know what you are trying to do here, Barbara. No, you don't. You don't. Look, you don't drink like your uncle, right? Remember, he used to have wine for breakfast, right? You don't drink in the morning, right? No, I don't drink in the morning, Barbara. And, remember your mother. She was drinking till she passed out on the floor. You're not doing that either, right? No, Barbara, I don't do that either. Double sigh. So? So what, Barbara? What if you don't actually really have any problems with alcohol? I do have a problem with it, Barbara. And you know that too.
I just opened the kitchen curtains to the dark. It's still night outside and the moon is still shining bright. It's my 10th day without alcohol. According to what I have read, I'm officially clean. There's no alcohol left in my body. I'm clean. Barbara has been here since last night. Barbara is small. She sits on my bed when I am trying to sleep. Barbara wanted me to listen to her. Listen, she said, tomorrow is day 10, she said, you know what that means, she said, you did it, she said. I know, I responded. You did it, she repeated. Yeah. I opened my eyes to the dark. Staring at the night. No moon was shining in my room. Barbara was sitting there, right beside me, whispering in my ears "You did it". What's your point, Barbara?... I asked. You did it, she said again. So, see? Perhaps you were wrong? Perhaps you don't have any problem here. I mean, with booze. Because if you are able to
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