American Consequences - April 2021



By AndrewAmundson

We don’t have any oncologists on staff, but we still know a malignant cancer parading as a human when we see one... The only problem is that there are so many in America. There’s such a toxic ocean of idiotic, petulant, sociopathic, hypocritical candidates that it’s a chore to find the crowning one each month: Which sphincter will hold the scepter? But at American Consequences , we’ve dug through the trough, like truffle pigs in reverse, finding you the worst of the worst – just as a reminder of however terrible you think you are, at least you’re not this person.

MATT GAETZ Can I tell you a secret, Matt? The kind you’d probably share on your phone on the House floor amid sh*t-eating grins and ‘atta boy whispers? I was going to go with Andrew Cuomo this month for our Dunce of the Month pick. It seemed inevitable. But then you swooped in like the drunken, handsy, golden Phoenix you believe yourself (and maybe your parents told you) to be. You make the disgraced New York governor’s transgressions seem positively quaint (almost). And you actually willed this travesty into


April 2021

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