Grassroots with passion
Teaching your child how to manage emotions like a Star
In the modern age, we teach our children logic, critical thinking, math, language but teaching our children about their emotions? That is almost unheard of. Often, teaching children about their emotions are mostly a by-product found in majority structured educational programs. We can all agree that emotional quotient or EQ, is an important ability to achieve success. Part of the EQ ability is learning how to manage our emotions and today, we will focus on building our skill to manage our natural emotional states.
STOP First, teach your child how to stop shouting, crying, screaming in excitement or any other negatively perceived behaviour. Teach them to calm down, take a deep breath, or count down from 3. The See-Saw brain Understand that we have two parts of the brain: logical and emotional brain. The two parts of the brain are like the captains of the boat. Similar to the real life, we cannot have two different captains commanding the ship; it is simply not mentally possible. Like a see-saw, when one goes up, the other goes down. When your child is screaming, the emotional brain is in control. When you teach your child to calm down, like a see-saw, the emotional brain lowers while inviting the logical brain to go up. By inviting the logical brain to take control, we are ready for the next step. What is the STAR method? The STAR method is based on elements from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT is a widely used psychotherapy that psychologists administer to help their patients overcome mental challenges. The STAR method should only be used as a guide and not by any means regarded as a CBT treatment. The STAR method is an abbreviation for
THINK There are two parts to the Think segment. First, we want our child to think why they are behaving in a
certain way. This helps our child to be aware of their emotions. Secondly, we want to teach our child to think of methods to cope with their emotions. We don’t want to spoon feed our child because that is not a sustainable way. By equipping our child with the skills to think, we are presenting a gift to them for their future success. How do we teach our child to be aware and to manage their emotions? For example, when they are crying, and you want to address the behaviour. 1. You may suggest to the child to first take a deep breath (STOP). 2. Next, you may ask your child questions such as “what are you feeling right now?” (Awareness) 3. After the child identifies their emotions, ask them “what can you do to feel less [emotions identified]?”
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