American Consequences - December 2020

To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

To the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” On the twelfth day of peaceful protests My looting got for me... 12 Oxycodone

Had a very runny nose And anyone who saw it Knew he had a viral dose All of the other reindeer

11 Rémy Martin 10 Apple iPhones 9 Rolex watches 8 Gucci backpacks 7 Fendi T-shirts 6 Prada handbags 5 carat ring 4 Nike sneakers 3 handguns 2 ATMs And a Cadillac Escalade

Used hoof sanitizer to prevent Rudolph from getting near them Even at a Trump event Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa told them all “Can’t social distance with my sleigh Christmas is locked down anyway.” Then how the reindeer shunned him As they began to rant and spew “Rudolph the Runny-Nosed Reindeer We’re eating you for Christmas stew”

To the tune of “We Three Kings”

We three kings of Orient are Eating bats in a Wuhan bazaar... (Sorry... Parody was cut short by the fact that no one can ever remember the rest of the words to this Christmas carol.)

American Consequences

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