LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Some COVID-19 customs will persist, of course. I hope one of them is electing a president because he never left his home. More politicians should never leave home. In fact, come to think of it, all of them should stay there. Quarantining when we’re sick is here to stay. I’ve awakened on many a Monday morning feeling like I should spend the next 14 days in bed. This past year has produced a lot of scientific research about illness. And somewhere in all that research, I’m sure I can find science that proves that hangovers are catching. Neckties are gone forever. What were neckties for anyway? Other than something to wipe your nose with when you thought your laptop’s camera wasn’t on during Zoom meetings. And, sorry Generation X, but it’s going to be impossible to get your Baby Boomer parents into nursing homes. Those places are death traps. You’ll be stuck with us drooling in front of the TV at your house. (And – case in point – the White House.) But things will mostly return to normal… Americans will not start routinely wearing masks every time they’ve got the sniffles the way Asian people do. There’s far too much crime in America for that. As a friend of mine put it, “What is it about going into a bank wearing a mask and asking for money that makes me slightly nervous?” Business travel will resume its dreary course, probably with rectal thermometers added to the panoply of TSA screening.
Once more, we’ll be conned into conferences with pointy-headed PowerPoints presented by colleagues whom we wish were leagues away. And our hotel room will be – as always – located between the elevator and the ice machine. The trend for trendy restaurants will return, serving us foods we’ve never heard of at unheard-of prices. I hope one COVID custom never left his home. More politicians should never leave home. In fact, come to think of it, all of them should stay there. that stays is electing a president because he We’ll have to drag our tail to cocktails with no way to object to objectionable parties or decline invitations no matter how invidious. And we’ll have to hand out invitations of our own again, singing in lament... Drunk Uncle Louie and crazy cousin Sue Will be back at Thanksgiving and at Christmas dinner, too. When Pfizer, BioNTech, and Moderna announced the success of their coronavirus vaccine trials, my friend, the esteemed British journalist Ivo Dawnay – in the happy seclusion of his isolated home in the wilds of Exmoor – phoned me – in the happy seclusion of my isolated home in the wilds of New Hampshire. Ivo said, “Oh dear. We have just lost our excuse for everything .”
American Consequences
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