American Consequences - May 2020


do you remember the unpaved parking lot? Parking was $1 a day on the honor system, paid in little envelopes tucked under your windshield wiper. And, if you put a “Fly Manchester” bumper sticker on your car, you could park for half-price. As an obedient housebound denizen due to China’s generous sharing of this tool against overcrowding, I have regularly engaged in exchanges of uplifting verbal badinage to accompany my daily prolific criticism of our political mess. So, going stale, I was jubilant to receive P.J. O’ROURKE’S AMERICAN CONSEQUENCES in my e-mail. I almost “morphed” gelatinous with P.J.’s induced laughing spasm, thoroughly enjoying his treatise on boredom. I sure don’t want to miss any future editions and will pass them on to my throng of Conservative acquaintances, (Not Leftist Liberals as they have No sense of humor). – Anon. P.J. O’Rourke comment: Thank you! I’m always glad to make people laugh – something I seem to be capable of doing whether I mean to or not. That is, I started as a serious writer and... people laughed. At first this hurt my feelings, but then I decided to take the hint. “If enough people call you a horse’s ass, saddle up and ride out of town.” And you bring up an interesting point. What do Leftist Liberals laugh at? It must be tough to take everything so seriously. I’ve been trying to write a Leftist Liberal joke but, so far, I haven’t had much luck:

Re: Our Newest Readers Weigh In Love your mag and have passed it on to many friends. – Hugh S. P.J. O’Rourke comment: Hugh, count us among those many friends. Although you don’t have to pass our magazine on to us. We already have a copy. PJ, I always read you. You got me at Parliament of Whores . Hell we flew together on a twin engine out of Manchester just talking... Is Trump the end of the world as we know it? – Ric R. P.J. O’Rourke comment: Ric, I think Trump is more like the middle of the world as we know it – a world where politicians have become even more silly, self-involved, and preposterous than they ever were. I’d like to think that this will lead to the beginning of a world we’ve never known before – a libertarian world where politicians take their rightful place as comical minor functionaries in a free society. But what am I smoking? Meanwhile, thanks for the memories of that old twin-prop out of Manchester. Flying was still a fun and comradely experience in those days when local airports were local . The Manchester, New Hampshire terminal was about the size of a small town post office. Security consisted of one retired cop from the Manchester PD. Everybody there, including the pilots, knew the regulars by name. And


May 2020

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