The Bledsoe Firm - June 2020

The Bledsoe Firm | 949.363.5551 JUNE | 2020

up a whole new world including unlimited opportunities for self-improvement and for developing my talents. The success of law school and passing the bar exam led to new challenges and opportunities. O ur O wn P ersonal R eopening I n the professional self-improvement group I participate in, recently a speaker made it clear

that where you are today is a product of a lifetime of choices, habits, and decisions that you have made. It was also pointed out that we are each comfortable with our habits, decisions, and choices. Some of these habits are hard to break. If where we are in our life is not where we wanted to end up, we need to make some different choices and break some of the habits we have become comfortable with. What does your perfect life look like? What about your family life? Is it what you want it to be? It is important to write down what a perfect workday is. Even more importantly, write down what a perfect day in your life is. What is your perfect day? It will likely be different than mine. What is your perfect job? What is your perfect family situation? What do you really want your life to be in the future? Life is never going to be perfect. But we can attempt to live our best life in the areas under our control, as opposed to allowing circumstances to control us. John Lennon famously wrote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans,” in his song "Beautiful Boy." Lots of life events happen while we are trying to figure things out. We have to determine what we want and work toward it. I married my wife in 1982. We had our first baby in 1983. I was in a job I knew was never going to work for me in the long term. It was slow moving and did not challenge me. I was 27 years old when I graduated from college. By 1987, I had two daughters and a wife to support. I decided to pursue law school and started in the fall of 1987. I did not know what type of law I would practice. But I knew I needed to take advantage of the steady, easy dead-end job I found myself in. Law school turned out to be a transformative experience for me. It opened

As the years have passed, I have been continuing to figure out life and my place in it. Our roles seem to change as we expand our families. We become parents. Time passes

away like a dream and before we know it, we become grandparents. We have unexpected health or financial challenges. We are, at times, forced to reinvent ourselves. We make course corrections in our personal lives and our work lives. At times we may be on a plateau where things are going relatively smoothly, but after a time, circumstances arise that require us to reevaluate and to make changes. Life may be really great in some aspects and quite difficult and challenging in others. Sometimes we see others who seem to have it made, and we think that if we could just reach that level of success, we could also live happily ever after. Once we get where we think we wanted to be, we find other problems to solve. As we progress in life, we sometimes find that the challenges we face are progressively more difficult and complex. Living "happily ever after" is a relative term. Back in 2003, my wife and I had six children. The first had just left for college. My practice was pretty well-established. We lived in a barely adequate home in a nice area, but we felt that we needed more space. We thought all of our problems would end if we could just get a larger home. We sold the home we were residing in and moved into our just finished, brand-new home. Unfortunately, we just replaced one set of problems with a new set. This decision to move to this larger home and its complications comprised the most difficult experience I have ever been through. It has had a profound effect on who I am today, on our family, and even my children’s relationships with each other. I will likely share what happened in an upcoming newsletter. In closing, where and who we are not only depends on our habits and decisions but also the things that happen to us beyond our control. We have all experienced a lack of control in our lives since mid-March. The next few months may be transformative in our lives as things reopen. It has been said that life after COVID-19 will never be the same and that we will do things differently. If you are looking to reinvent yourself and/or make course corrections, this may be the perfect time to implement those changes to make your lives better. —John Bledsoe

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