Coping with Traumatic Death

are more vulnerable than other people. It is important to work up the courage to go out in public, even when it frightens you. Little by little you can overcome your fears.

Little by little you can

overcome your fears.

Anger Anger is a common grief reaction. You may be surprised by the intensity of the anger you feel for the person who killed your loved one. You may find that your anger is directed toward members of the legal system or hospital staff. Even if it doesn’t make sense, many people direct feelings of anger at a family member or friend, or even at themselves for not having prevented the unpreventable violent crime. You may even be angry at everything and everyone. You may wish desperately that the person who killed your loved one would show some remorse and say “I’m sorry.” That probably won’t happen. Many offenders do not feel remorse although some are indeed sorry. However, their attorneys warn them not to make contact with the victim’s family because such contact can be considered an admission of guilt. The injustice of your loved one’s death, the deep hurt you feel, and the loss of future dreams may all add up to rage. Most of the things you think about doing must remain undone, like harming the offender. It is important not to act in a destructive manner when responding to your anger. Many people find it beneficial to talk with someone about feelings of anger or rage. Expressing these feelings can free the

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