Coping with Traumatic Death

mind, enabling you to be more open and realistic in your thinking and planning for the future. Physical activity often helps. Some people write in journals or write letters to the offender, which are better left unsent.

Some cry and yell and scream. What you do with your anger really does not matter as long as you acknowledge

Expressing your feelings can

it, and you do not hurt yourself or anyone else in expressing it. Guilt Anger frequently becomes guilt over time. Guilt is feeling somehow responsible for what happened or thinking that you didn’t do enough in the relationship while help free the mind.

your loved one was alive. You may say to yourself, “If only I had known,” or “If only I told them I loved them.” Guilt involves a lot of “should haves” or “should not haves.” Regrets are normal, but

Regrets are normal, but you cannot change the past.

you cannot change the past. Some people find it helpful to write letters to their loved ones to help them say their goodbyes. As difficult as it is, it is important to look rationally at how your beliefs make you feel guilty. You may, indeed, be responsible for some component of your loved one’s death. If so, acknowledge it and see if you can find a way to forgive yourself. If you made a bad judgment, you probably made the best one you knew how to make at the time. Try not to exaggerate your role in your loved one’s death.


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