Weddings used to be held in autumn, when all work in the fields was done. The or- der was clear: the household’s eldest daugh- ter married first. As soon as she became a young lady, after turning 15, her mother would teach her about life, while she would only see her future life partner in passing, while he took cattle to graze. But the two of them didn’t have a lot of choosing to do – that was up to the parents. Checks would be made to see if there was anyone sick in the family, while checks would also be made to ensure the bride and groom didn’t share the same family saint’s day. There was also an order for inviting guests: today’s invitations used to be Buk- lia, which still circle Serbia. This flask contain- ing rakia, decorated with flowers and towels, would be sent to wedding guests ten days before the wedding, and the sign that they would attend was the refilling and decorat- ing of the vessel. On the wedding day, all eyes were on the bride, which has remained the case. She then became a woman, but was also be- lieved to be at her most vulnerable on that day, as she transitioned from one life to an- other. Then she belongs neither to her father nor the groom; she is neither in her house or his – she is nobody’s and nowhere. And so she leaves behind her old life, her face hidden under a veil. But in its place she once wore a smiljevac bonnet, adorned with aromatic herbs. The smiljevac was there, like the veil now, to protect her from evil spells. To ensure everything goes right, the bride is protected all day by the dever, the groom’s cousin. It’s no wonder he doesn’t let her out of his sight – considering the east- ern Serbian tradition that he must compen- sate the wedding guests with a tub of wine if he loses her. And it was harder to win the bride than protect her. In most Serbian vil- lages, someone from the groom’s party who is a good shot must still shoot down an ap- ple attached by the bride’s father to the tall- est tree in his yard. An apple is used because it’s believed to represent the life cycle from birth to death, so its destruction represents the symbolic destruction of any barrier be- tween the two families. The guests only en- ter the yard after the apple falls, just as the bride will fall into the groom’s arms. However, overcoming that obstacle isn’t the end. As is still the case today, any groom who respects tradition must buy the bride from her brother. Nowadays that’s all bar- tering for fun, but it used to be very differ- ent: the groom would pay a significant sum to compensate for the working capacity he was taking from the house. A once common custom that still ex- ists today is for the bride to be called to turn around when she leaves her maternal home,
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6. Miraz je u novu kuću nosila samo ćerka jedinica A dowry was only taken to the new house by daughters who were only children
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