Ap r i l 2 0 1 9
Spring. It’s not merely a season. I think of action — of the exciting, positive possibilities about to jump into motion. But I digress into a (mostly) true story. We set our clocks to spring forward one spring and decided to spring for train tickets to Hot Springs to feast on spring rolls during spring break. Though we were no spring chickens, the excitement of the train ride felt like going to a spring fling. The 5-hour ride instead took 12, causing our tempers to spring leaks! The spring-loaded doors could hardly open fast enough. Once there, we sprang into action for one-way airline tickets home at the end of the week! After days of drinking spring water to get the spring fever out of our systems, we flew home to finish spring-cleaning the house. FROM THE DESK OF Terri
THEWORLD’S SILLIESTWORKOUTS I n H onor of A pril F ools ’ D ay
Use this month to springboard yourself into action with a spring in your step!
Dedicated to your success,
It’s no secret that exercise is extremely beneficial for your overall health. And while those benefits are no joke, there are plenty of fitness trends and methodologies that warrant a laugh. It’s hard to take every aspect of the fitness world with stone-faced seriousness, es- pecially when some of the workouts of the past seem like they were devised by comedians rather than trainers. In honor of April Fools’ Day, let’s count down the top-five most off-the-wall, bonkers, and hilarious fitness programs to ever grace home video or the internet. To watch these videos for yourself, you can look them up on YouTube. No. 5: ‘POODLE EXERCISE WITH HUMANS’ This one lands so low on our list only because it’s clear that the tongue-in-cheek nature of the clip is at least partly intentional. Lycra, leg warmers, fanny packs — these have all been de rigueur gym accessories at one point or another. But you generally wouldn’t see a person at the gym wearing prosthetic balls on their arms to resemble a poodle. Nor would you find yourself working out with a pack of half-poodle, half-humans. The clip, created by Panasonic as part of the marketing for the 2004 Athens Olympics, may have been designed for laughs, but the result is bizarre enough to raise eyebrows.
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No. 4: ‘THE MARKY
walk in on you doing these“exercises,”they may think you’d completely lost it. No. 2: ESTELLE GETTY — YOUNG AT HEART — BODY CONDITIONING “Congratulations, you figured out how to turn on your VCR,” says Estelle Getty at the begin- ning of this clip. “That’s the hardest part of this exercise video.”Normally, claiming that sticking a VHS in the machine and hitting play was more difficult than the workout itself would be seriously false advertising. But that’s not the case with Estelle’s body conditioning. When the exercises themselves include such backbreaking movements as raising your hands and saying, “I feel lousy,” the only sweat you’ll break is from trying to figure out how the heck this video came to exist. NO. 1: COUNTRY HIP-HOP DANCING What do you get when you mix line dancing instruction, a fitness program, and a healthy
dash of ‘90s hip-hop flavor? Diane Horner’s “Country Hip Hop” of course. We can neither confirm nor deny whether these fresh-to- death moves ever gained a foothold at square dances nationwide, but we’d love to see them in action. Watch this clip so you can break out the “country version of the running man” at your next dance party.
Today, Mark Wahlberg is an Oscar-nominated actor and respected member of the Holly- wood elite. In the early ‘90s, though, he was known solely as the chiseled leader of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Nobody would’ve wantedWahlberg to create an instructional singing video, but they certainly wanted his abs. To help regular folks like us achieve his look, Wahlberg created “The Marky Mark Work- out” in 1993. If you like your fitness routines to include both sexual innuendo and dated ‘90s hip-hop slang, this is the workout for you. No. 3: ‘CRAZY FUNNY FACE LIFT EXERCISES’ Do you skip leg day? Never? Good for you. What about face day?Wait — you mean you’ve never heard of face day? You clearly haven’t watched this indescribably wacky video from the late ‘80s urging women to hold ridiculous face poses in order to fight wrinkles and other signs of aging. Let’s just say that if somebody were to
HONORABLE MENTION: NEARLY EVERY GIMMICK FITNESS PRODUCT EVER
In the era before “Shark Tank,” there were no celebrity investors to laugh your cockamamie workout product out of the market. As a result, we’ve seen inventors create everything under the sun in order to make a fast buck from those trying to get in shape. If you have ever seen advertisements for ThighMaster, Shake Weight, or Sauna Suit, you know exactly what we’re talking about.
needed help, so Wynne tied a strand of telephone wire to her collar and Smoky ran through a 70-foot-long pipe in a matter of minutes. Without Smoky, it would have taken three days to lay the wire. Her work kept over 250 ground crewmen and 40 fighter and reconnaissance planes out of danger from enemy bombings. In addition to saving lives on the battlefield, Smoky is also considered to be the first recorded therapy dog. She learned a number of tricks to cheer up troops and would visit injured soldiers at the hospital in New Guinea. After WorldWar II, Smoky andWynne visited veteran hospitals across the United States. “Corporal” Smoky lived for another 10 years after the war before dying on Feb. 21, 1957, at approximately 14 years old. Wynne would go on to write a memoir about his time with Smoky titled “Yorkie Doodle Dandy.” Almost 50 years after her death, a life-sized bronze statue of Smoky was erected at her final resting place in Lakewood, Ohio. Her statue is dedicated to the bravery of all war dogs, and it is a reminder that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Yorkie Doodle Dandy Smoky the World War II Canine Hero
Considering the stress of combat, it’s no wonder military dogs tend to be tough breeds known for their size and strength. German shepherds, boxers, and various bully breeds are well-acquainted with the battlefield. But in WorldWar II, the most famous military dog weighed only 4 pounds and stood a mere 7 inches tall. Smoky the Yorkshire Terrier wasn’t exactly what most people associated with Shakespeare’s “let slip the dogs of war,” but her small size is part of what made her such a hero. In 1944, after being discovered beside a foxhole in the jungles of New Guinea, Smoky met Corporal William A. Wynne, an American soldier from Cleveland, Ohio. The two quickly became inseparable, and she stayed by Wynne’s side the entire time he was stationed in the South Pacific. Smoky is credited with going on 12 combat missions, surviving 150 air raids, parachuting 30 feet, and earning eight battle stars. Smoky’s sensitive hearing allowed her to alert Wynne and other soldiers of incoming air raids.
Smoky’s most famous act of heroism occurred when she went where no man could go at an air base at Lingayen Gulf, Luzon. The engineers
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The Many Wonders of Omega-3s One Little Pill That Can Do Your Body Good
COGNITIVE FUNCTION BENEFITS
Because fish oil is said to improve everything from heart health to chronic dry eye, it may sound a bit like, well, snake oil. But this brilliant little supplement packs a big punch, especially for older adults.
Several studies have concluded that regularly consuming omega-3 fatty acids can help maintain cognitive function. While research shows no cognitive recovery in extremely elderly subjects who already suffer from dementia, evidence indicates that taking fish oil on a regular basis may prevent or postpone the onset of cognitive decline. Omega-3 consumption may also improve the quality of life for individuals suffering from depression or anxiety at any age. If you eat fatty fish several times a week every week, you may already get enough omega-3s, but it can be difficult to get a therapeutic dose of fish oil from food alone on a regular basis. A fish oil supplement can provide additional fatty acids. Look for an ingredient list that specifically shows EPA and DHA; some brands use misleading labeling that only shows the total amount of fish oil rather than the actual omega-3s. Recommendations vary, but most sources indicate that a dosage of 1,000–2,000 milligrams (1–2 grams) of combined EPA and DHA provides benefits. If the smell or “fish burps” bother you, choose enteric-coated capsules, which dissolve in the small intestine rather than the stomach. Omega-3 caps also come in vegan options sourced from seaweed and algae. WHICH OMEGA-3 SUPPLEMENT IS RIGHT FOR ME?
HEART HEALTH BENEFITS
The omega-3 fatty acids docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) have been shown to support heart health in multiple ways. The Mayo Clinic cites research suggesting that higher levels of EPA are associated with a reduced risk of congestive heart failure in older adults. Studies also report that people with moderate to severe hypertension typically see a positive effect on their blood pressure if they regularly take omega-3s. Omega-3 fatty acids can reduce pain, stiffness, and swelling associated with osteoarthritis and other joint disorders by lubricating the joints and acting as an anti-inflammatory. As we age, our ability to produce tears diminishes. Fish oil’s lubricating and anti-inflammatory properties also make it a great treatment for and defense against chronic dry eye. JOINT AND EYE BENEFITS
Take a Break!
Inspired by Bon Appétit
PASTA PRIMAVERA Ingredients
1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, ideally Parmigiano- Reggiano Kosher salt, for pasta water and to taste
12 ounces pasta, ideally fusilli
1/2 pound broccoli florets
2 carrots, shredded
1 yellow bell pepper, cut into strips
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1. In a large pot, liberally salt water and bring to a boil. Add fusilli and cook according to package directions. Add broccoli, carrots, and bell pepper during the last 2 minutes of cook time. 2. Drain the pasta and veggies, reserving 1/2 cup of cooking liquid. Return pasta and veggies to pot. 3. In a large skillet, heat olive oil to medium heat. Add garlic and cook until translucent and golden, 30 seconds. Add tomatoes, red pepper flakes, and 1 teaspoon salt. Cook until tomatoes are wilted, about 2 minutes. Stir in reserved pasta water. 4. Add tomato mixture to pasta pot, stirring to coat evenly. 5. Divide into bowls, top with Parmesan cheese, and serve.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE From the Desk of Terri PAGE 1 You Call That a Workout? PAGE 1 Never Judge a Dog by Her Size PAGE 2 The Many Wonders of Omega-3s PAGE 3 Take a Break PAGE 3 Pasta Primavera PAGE 3 3 Great Opening Days in Baseball PAGE 4
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PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS The Best Opening Days in Baseball History
Baseball’s opening day has been an American holiday of sorts since the Cincinnati Red Stockings threw out the first major league pitch in 1869. To celebrate the start of the 150th season of professional baseball, here are three of the best opening days in baseball history.
A NEW BEGINNING
On April 15, 1947, an opening-day game changed the course of Major League Baseball. On this day, Jackie Robinson started for the Brooklyn Dodgers, becoming the first African-American player to start for a major league baseball team. Robinson’s historic showing was lackluster, going 0-for-3 at the plate and making a solid showing on the infield at first base, but his mere presence in a Dodgers uniform had already broken history. Despite his nationally-recognized skills —Robinson was named MVP of the MLB farm team league in 1946 — the backlash that followed his rise to the pros, both from fans and teammates, was palpable. Still, as well-known sportscaster Howard Cosell said,“Suddenly, it was a new beginning.”
for the 1927 Yankees, whose players would go on to make up baseball’s famous “Murderers’ Row.”With sluggers like Lou Gehrig, Earle Combs, Babe Ruth, Mark Koenig, Bob Meusel, and Tony Lazzeri, it’s no wonder this team went on to win its fifth championship that year.
THE HAMMER TIES BAMBINO
For decades, no one could match George Herman Ruth. The Great Bambino’s all-time home run record seemed like an impossible feat of strength — that is, until Henry “Hammerin’ Hank” Aaron came along. On opening day, April 4, 1974, Aaron smashed his 714th homer, tying Babe Ruth for the most home runs ever hit and extending the Atlanta Braves’ shutout lead over the Cincinnati Reds. A few weeks later, Aaron surpassed Ruth’s record, prompting a standing ovation from the crowd.
LOU, COMBS, AND BABE — OH MY!
Considered one of the best teams in baseball history, the 1927 New York Yankees started their historic run and 25th season by dismantling the Philadelphia Athletics with a score of 8–3. The slugfest was true to form
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