Theus Wealth Advisors June 2019

THE STRAIGHT S K I N N Y

JUNE 2019

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The Lessons My Dad Taught Me EXPANDING YOUR THINKING

Recently, one of my adopted brothers told me he had never experienced a family that handled conflict like ours. In his experience, when people argued, divorce followed. So you can imagine his surprise when he saw that a family could debate, argue, and still be friends. It made me realize we were lucky to grow up in a noisy, crazy family with parents who always encouraged us to expand our thinking. To this day, we are a boisterous and high-energy clan! My parents were 18 and 20 when I came along. By the time my dad was 25 and my momwas 23, they were raising four kids and budgeting down to the dime. (They would later adopt and add more boys to this rambunctious group.) Growing up with a father in the military, our constant moving meant we had to be a tightknit unit. We were our own best friends, and while there were a lot of challenges through the years, we’ve remained a close group. In fact, Dad had such a positive attitude about the military that seven of us kids went into the service! When I was 15, my father became a runner when the Air Force instituted their fitness readiness program. I went from being a high school swimmer to a collegiate runner, and I loved coming home to run with my dad. The year I turned 40, he was 60, and we had this brilliant idea: to run the Marine Corps Marathon together. I was a really good 10K runner, but a marathon was a bigger project. Dubbed the “people’s marathon”because of the Marines’dedication to keeping the race open to anyone, my father and I sloshed our way through a cold and rainy race that day. It was also the year that Oprah ran. We all looked the same at the end—drenched, cold, and pooped. But we finished! When it comes to my father’s influence, some of my more profound memories are of our many discussions and debates on philosophy and theology; I was taking my general education classes as a freshman at Wright State. Debating various authors’ writings, as well as philosophy in general, late into the evening after Dad returned from his second job was a meaningful experience and an early window into the idea of mindset. World-renowned psychologist Karen S. Dweck, Ph.D., wrote on this topic in her popular book,“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.”Dweck, a professor at Stanford University, writes that those who believe abilities are fixed are less likely to

flourish than those with a growth mindset. When you think of your abilities as something you are constantly developing, you will seek out those opportunities that allow you to grow. Those who seek to grow tend to be the happiest and most resilient.

It was a wonderful experience to grow up with this kind of proactive thinking and attitude. My dad was always encouraging us to stay focused on our goals and find ways to expand our

knowledge. He often told us,“It doesn’t matter what you do. Just be the best at what you do.”This mindset should never stop; you will never reach an age where you say,“Oh, I’m done learning now.”It’s important to share with your children about the lessons you learned, the mistakes you made, and the things you would do differently. Your failures are not embarrassments. They’re growth opportunities. They are tools to help the next generation, though they will also make their own mistakes. Sometimes the best accomplishments result from those mistakes. It’s all worth sharing because mentoring the next generation matters. Perhaps it’s time to rethink the idea of retirement. Statistics showmost of us will live into our 90s. Of course we want our money to last that long, too. And studies show that those who stay engaged are happier and healthier in the long run. Perhaps more important than leaving money is the impact you have on your adult children and grandchildren as a mentor. They may pass us by in certain knowledge, but we have them beat on experience. (What was that saying about age and treachery?) The best thing you leave behind may be the impact you have on the lives of those you love. Take it frommy dad— the man who took up running when he was 35; who, together with my mom, welcomed more than a dozen boys into their home and always encouraged us to think outside the box.

—J’Neanne Theus

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Kids often look up to their father as one of their greatest heroes. There are the long drives to sports tournaments, the late-night movies, and the sweets when Mom isn’t looking. We probably all have some reason to look up to our dad as one of our biggest influences. It’s Father’s Day this month, a special time of year when we take a moment to think about the sacrifices the father figures in our lives have made for us. Most dads are pretty great, but some go above and beyond the fatherly call of duty. Let’s take a look at some heroic dads who risked everything to keep their families safe. Life can change in a split second, and how you choose to react in a moment of peril can define your legacy forever. Few people know this as well as Brad Lewis. When Brad and his young son, Oscar, were deeply entrenched in an intense Nerf battle, he surely didn’t think the situation would turn as dangerous as it did. When a few darts missed his father and landed on the balcony, Oscar ran after them but soon found himself teetering on the balcony’s ledge, 12 feet above the ground. Thinking fast, Brad grabbed his son just before he fell over, both taking the plunge while Brad protected his son with his own body. Just as he’d intended, Brad absorbed most of the blow. While Oscar sustained serious wounds, his father’s injuries were more severe. Brad was left fighting for his life in the ICU, with severe fractures to his skull and vertebrae. Thankfully, Brad is expected to make a full recovery and has made serious strides since the accident. He and his son will live to play another day. BRAD LEWIS: OVER THE LEDGE HEROIC DADS WHO DIDN’T BACK DOWN Being a Parent Isn’t Always a Walk in the Park

Far before humans had written histories, we had dogs. From hunting and shepherding to playing and relaxing, our early ancestors had canine companions by their side, and their appreciation shows. As storytelling developed around the world, our four-legged friends became important characters. Here are a few ancient legends for the historical dog lover. GOOD BOYS OF ANTIQUITY Dogs in Ancient Legend

TARASCAN SPIRIT DOGS

Many Mesoamerican cultures featured dogs prominently in their myths and legends, especially in regard to the afterlife. One of the most notable of these comes from the Tarascan state, an empire that rivaled the Aztecs. The Tarascans believed canine spirits would search out the souls of lost humans and guide them safely out of the mortal world. Leave it to dogs to create ghost stories with happy endings.

TUIREN THE WOLFHOUND

GREG ALEXANDER: COULDN’T BEAR TO SEE HIS SON HURT

In Irish folklore, Tuiren was a beautiful woman to be wed to Iollan Eachtach, but this love made Iollan’s faery sweetheart jealous. In an attempt to ruin the young woman’s wedding, the faery turns Tuiren into a hound and gives her to Fergus Fionnliath, a renowned dog-hater. This cruel act backfires when the Irish wolfhound wins over Fergus, teaching him to love not just her but all dogs too. In fact, the man is crestfallen when his hound is revealed to be a human. Tuiren’s nephew, the hero Fionn, cheers Fergus up with a new puppy! The Indian epic “Mahabharata” is thought to date back to the eighth or ninth century B.C. and tells the story of two warring families. Toward the end of the tale, prince Yudhishthira and his family begin to ascend the Himalayas to reach heaven, and a stray dog joins them on their journey. One by one, Yudhishthira’s companions fall, until only the prince and his furry friend remain. When the god Indra finally appears to offer Yudhishthira passage into heaven, he brings bad news: The dog cannot come with him. But Yudhishthira refuses to abandon his dog, explaining that he could never leave such a loyal, steadfast companion. Anyone who’s turned down a great apartment offer because they don’t allow pets can relate. YUDHISHTHIRA’S STRAY

While camping in Great Smoky Mountains National Park in June 2015, Greg Alexander awoke to the sound of a nightmare. The screams of his son intermingled

with the roars of an unknown assailant, beckoning Greg to his son’s tent. There, he found his son Gabriel being attacked by a bear. The bear had his son by the head and was dragging him away. Greg jumped on the bear’s back, desperately trying to take attention away from Gabriel. Amazingly, it worked, and in the end, the bear ran away. Gabriel was left with serious cuts to his head, but thanks to his dad’s heroism, the two were able to walk away from that campsite and back to their lives together.

The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to take a leap of faith or fight a bear to be a hero in your family’s eyes. Just be yourself, show some support, and do the best you can. Happy Father’s Day, everybody.

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ENJOY YOUR FAMILY TIME By Taking a Break From Your Phone

Setting some time aside to be with family is important, but it can be difficult when everyone is always on their cellphones. Constant cellphone use has become a global problem, and the habit is hard to break because we rely on mobile devices heavily for work, school, and keeping in contact with friends and family. Luckily, there are plenty of apps that can reduce how often you’re on your phone and minimize distractions. SIEMPO After you install Siempo on your phone, it will ask which apps are likely to distract you. Once you select them, the app will move those apps away from the home screen and place the important ones, such as the messaging, contacts, email, and calendar apps, on the first screen. You can also designate times for specific apps to be used throughout the day. STAY FOCUSED Stay Focused is like Siempo, but there are some significant differences. You can set times to access certain apps and put the most distracting ones on lock. Stay Focused also has a “strict mode” that prevents you from uninstalling it, so be sure to think carefully before activating the lockdown because you won’t have access to those specific apps until the timer runs out. FOREST In the time that Forest takes control of your device for a set time limit, the app starts growing a tree. Once the tree is fully grown, your time is up, and it joins the other trees that were grown during other breaks. If you pick up your phone and try to access an app, Forest will send you a notification asking you if you want

to kill your baby tree by giving up. Who says guilt isn’t a good motivator?

BESIDES APPS Aside from using these apps, silencing your phone and putting it in another room, leaving it in your car if you’re out at dinner, or keeping it in your purse or back pocket during a social event can also reduce your screen

time. Having your phone out of sight and out of reach will keep the temptation of pulling it out at bay.

Spending time with your family is crucial, and with these apps and tips, you’ll enjoy each other’s company without too many screen distractions.

NO. 1 DAD HASH BROWNS

TAKE A BREAK

Inspired by Bon Appétit

Ingredients

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, or 6 tbsp ghee

1 tsp Kosher salt, plus more to taste

Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

3 russet potatoes (about 1/2 lb.), peeled

Pinch of cayenne pepper, plus more to taste

Directions

1. In a small saucepan, heat butter over medium heat until foamy. Reduce heat if needed to avoid browning. Skim off white milk solids to make clarified butter (ghee). Transfer to a bowl and reserve. (This step won’t be needed if using ghee.) 2. Using the large holes on a box grater, grate potatoes. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water and stir until water becomes cloudy. Rinse potatoes under cold water, then squeeze out liquid using cheesecloth or a kitchen towel, removing as much moisture as possible. Season potatoes. 3. In a large nonstick skillet, heat butter (or ghee) to medium-high. Add potatoes and cook until a crust forms underneath, about 5 minutes. Using a rubber spatula, break up potatoes and continue to cook, adding more butter (or ghee) if potatoes begin to stick. 4. Cook until golden brown and crisp, about 8 minutes. Drain on paper towels; season with salt, pepper, and cayenne to taste. Serve.

Solution on Page 4

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9175 GUILFORD RD, STE 204A COLUMBIA, MD 21046 443.718.6310 WWW.THEUSWEALTHADVISORS.COM

INSIDE

1

Learning From My Dad

2

Dogs in Ancient Legend Dads Who Went Above and Beyond the Call of Duty

3

Take a Break From Your Smartphone

Hash Browns for the Best Dad

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Roadside Attractions With Fun for All Ages

ENJOYING THE JOURNEY

Roadside Attractions Worth Visiting

The United States can be a weird place, and some landmarks definitely reflect that sentiment. Along

the area on a guided tour through forest above and lake below. And afterward, you can stop by the general store, ice cream parlor, or cafe.

THE MYSTERY SPOT; SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA

almost every highway, bizarre landmarks draw road trippers of all ages. Sometimes tourist traps aren’t worth the price of admission, but when you’re taking your summer road trip this year and your family needs a place to stop and stretch, these are three roadside attractions worth checking out.

Advertising itself as a “gravitational anomaly,” this wacky spot in the middle of the redwood forest showcases a series of optical illusions such as balls rolling uphill and a cabin where visitors can lean toward the ground and appear to defy gravity. It might not be aliens, like some believe, but visitors of all ages will get a kick out of the illusions messing with their perception. Plus, the nearby hiking trails through the redwoods offer a free added experience.

DINOSAUR LAND; WHITE POST, VIRGINIA

It might not be Jurassic Park, but it’s still worth a look. Nestled in the greenery of Northern Virginia, this park has over 50 life-size statues of dinosaurs of all kinds. Tours are self-guided, parking is free, and children (or adults) with dinosaur obsessions are sure to smile and point out their favorites. It’s certainly something to “rawr” home about. Whether these spots are your destinations or you’re just passing through on your summer road trip, visiting these roadside attractions and others like them will add some fun to your travels.

THE LOST SEA; SWEETWATER, TENNESSEE

The Lost Sea is the largest underground lake in the U.S. Lying 140 feet beneath the surface, it’s a fun escape from the summer heat, since it’s 58 degrees year-round. Kids and adults alike can learn about the history and geology of

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