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Dispatches from the Highlands
News from CannaTown JULY-AUG 2022
Vol 8. Edition 6
$4.20 Cents
BREAKING: 2022 WILL CONTINUE TO SUCK SCIENTISTS: WE'VE JUST REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN
********* Deep in Nevada, a country tests atomic bombs that it will even- tually drop on itself in the name of freedom - full story pg B17 ere is absolutely nothing now that can make up for all the shit thus far and it's gonna get worse
School Debt Cannceled Van Cannaby, Page 6 e Mayor has promised to help pay o debt racked up at a local for-pro t college run by local miser, Purp. See Van Cannaby ......................Page 6 AintMilk Turns Sour Down Drain, Page 10 Consumers and employees alike are calling the non-milk substitute the grossest thing since sliced non-bread. See Down Drain....... ...............Page 10 Elephant Ban Begins Swimmin Hole, Page 11 Following one of the worst elephant-poo in the water incidents at CT swimming hole, pachyderms are now banned. See Swimmin Hole ...................Page 11 e Dolls Are Coming Freaky Mystery, Page 12 Deals In Your Area! Local Maps, Page 18 NEWS FROM CANNATOWN Dispatches from the Highlands cata- logues a airs and news from the beau- tiful city of Cannatown, a quaint and quiet village built upon the con uence of the mighty IcyBong and Resinald Rivers, amidst the misty foothills of the Highlands. e Dispatches fam- ily is proud to present completely unique content--a cannacopia of squibs, lifestyle columns, reviews and deals--from across the globe. e publication is written and edited by a mostly-ripped team of writers and editors headquartered in the heart of Cannatown, and with help from old friends, they've assembled this most amazing spectacle of literature you see before you. Read, enjoy--now, make haste, to the smakery! - e Editors
INDEPTH REPORT Jan 6 Hearings, Page 8 We take a look at the Canngressional hearings rocking the country as the Cannsurrection comes under focus. See Jan 6 Hearings ...................Page 8 Grateful Masterpiece Album Notes, Page 14 New albums, old albums -- they’re all game as Erickson takes on the soundtrack to your chill. See Album Notes. ..................Page 14 Reese's PB Twinkies Cousin D Recipe, Page 15 Savor for yourself or be the life of the party! Cooking with THC made easy. See Recipe ................................Page 15 "BUDDHA GRASS" by W. Goodwin, Page 13 Weekly CannaScopes See Fortunes, Page 7 CannaSaver TM Today’s Coupons feature: e Herb Shoppe Colorado Springs Page 81 Doctor's Orders Colorado Springs Page 53 e Cannabis Depot Pueblo Page 79
** CannaCritiques Section Pg 35 ** SOUTHERN COLORADO CANNABIS LISTINGS Addresses, Phone by Categories: Dispensaries . . . . . . . . . . 23 Doctors . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 CBDMassage. . . . . . . . . . 43 Hemp/CBD.. . . . . . . . . . 43 GlassShops ........... 44 Kratom/Herbal . . . . . . . . . 47 Grow Stores . . . . . . . . . . . 48 VapeShops ........... 49
21+ Tourist? Recreational Shops Listings on Page 23! FIRST-TIME SPECIALS LIST pg 16 **** SAVE BIG WITH COUPONS pg 51
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Van Cannaby To Canncel 'Purp School' Debt Mayor VanCannaby’s administration re- cently announced a rolling initiative to use hundreds of dollars in automatic student loan canncellation for over a half-thousand borrowers, characterizing the forgiveness as the largest, and weirdest in history. e settlement stems from a 2020 class action lawsuit, Sweet Leaf vs. Carts, which argued many borrower defense claims for the loan canncellation were being ignored by the Department of Overzealous Brain wackers (DOOB). Defense to repayment is a program wherein the city government pays o your crappy debt to a crappy school. “Purp’s School of Fine Purp,” a for-pro t college ran by small business proprietor and for- mer adjunct professor at Cannatown University, Bertrand “Purp” DePurp, became notorious aer collapsing under the weight of investigations into its activities. More than a dozen students rst led complaints, saying they were instructed to demand payment from anyone seen smelling purp, even in the wild. It wasn’t until graduates banded together for the class action suit that the college fell into ruin. "It was like a Ponzi scheme, call it a Purpzi scheme," said city attorney Kris Kristo erson. "When they stopped collect- ing for smells, the bottom dropped out." “To tell the truth I did learn a lot,” said former student Kate Hen- dzel. “Like, how purp is a far superior ower due to its nely-bred constitution, and how smells ain’t free.” But it wasn’t until they tried landing jobs that most graduates realized they’d primarily been groomed and trained to work in Purp’s operation. Many of the skills, such as identifying and detaining a person sning the air for free smells, did not transfer to any other style of work in the industry. "In the end, I’d paid thousands, and for what?” asked another graduate. “I got to thinking near the end that damn, I could’ve just purchased like 10 pounds of purp for that price, and I probably would’ve been a lot happier, and high, and no worse o .” Each graduate will also receive two free satchels of purp. Critics say it's not fair that they won't get eighths too, and the decision will likely be appealed. Mr. Purp could not be reached for comment. OTHER HEADLINES Court Votes 5-4 To Put Anthrax in National Water Supply "It doesn't taste so bad if you're drinking the Kool-Aid" pg 150 TikToker launches club to celebrate individuality pg 157 Pantheon swarmed, eaten by eScooters pg 166 Study: "Dad duty" leads to "Dad bod" pg 171 **Brought to you by Larry's Sunscreen** “Made with real butter and mud” Bertrand "Purp" DePurp
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All Rights Reserved. No part of this publica- tion may be reproduced or reprinted without expressed written consent of the publishers. Using cannabis concentrates can lead to: 1. Psychotic symptoms and/or Psychotic disorder (delusions, hallucinations, or diculty distin- guishing reality); 2. Mental Health Symptoms/ Problems; 3. Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) (uncontrolled and repetitive vomiting); 4. Cannabis use disorder / dependence, including physical and psychological dependence. Note: Consuming concentrates via inhalation will cause immediate e ects. Concentrates aren't recommended for inexperienced users, and are not approved by the FDA. ey are not recommended for anyone under age 21 except by medical recom- mendation. Regulated cannabis dispensaries cannot provide medical advice. Cannapages is intended for readers aged 21+.
Vol 8. Edition 6
News from CannaTown
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CANNASCOPES : Discover Your Fortune! Aries - Your A/C has been going on and o , on and o , over and over again, not because it's saving energy, but because it loathes you. Taurus - You nally accomplished every- thing on your bucket list--impressive--al- though now you’ve got about 40 years to kill. Gemini - It's not that people don't care about aliens holding us all hostage; they just don't care that it happened to you . Cancer - e neighbors weren't very keen about your house burning down, but only be- cause they missed out on the blunt that did it. Leo - You’re feeling the pain at the pump because you put it in your ear, stupid. Virgo - e weirdest thing about having to clean up all that dog hair in the bathtub, is that you don't own a dog--much less, a bathtub. What Came to Pass News in Brief Cannatown’s oating hot dog stand capsizes In a surprise that nobody saw coming, the large, weinermobile-shaped ski that sold hot dogs to Cannatown tourists, has capsized. Jumbo Kingdog, the imperial palace-shaped icon of the Hong Bong marina, had shuttered just weeks ago following a relish shortage. It was out at sea when operators say it was at- tacked by a horde of giant squids, struck hun- dreds of times by lightning, endured damage from a meteor shower, all before being pilfered by pirates and spontaneously combusting. e food cart was featured in everything from the evening news to the local classi eds, which made it all the more bittersweet when word came that it’d encountered such adverse conditions in otherwise calm waters. Owners Aberdank Dining Group said the sinking was tragic, upsetting to shareholders, and not in any way connected to the multi-million dollar insurance policy taken out just days prior.
Libra - e doctor isn't buying your whole sudden-weight-gain theory, because he can see the pumpkin stuck up your shirt. Scorpio - Aer your decades of service, it would've been nice to get more than a bag of Skittles, but hey, it did really hit the spot. Sagittarius - As you drive into town, you'll realize, you've been here before. And judging from the road signs, they haven't forgotten. Capricorn - e strategy is simple. Keep changing your legal name, so you can keep getting those rst-time visitor specials. Aquarius - Today, velcro will save your life. But don't ask the stars how ; it's pretty gross. Pisces - is week you will learn a valuable lesson: when you shit your pants in VR, you shit your pants in real life.
Time to paintball the rich tourists again, pE7
Stories in Today’s Other Sections
Man successfully strips all chocolate from 3 Musketeers nougat in historic feat........ E2 Opinion: I nally listened to a whole Police album and they’re f*cking terrible........... F6 Felonious school dropout chosen to lead free world............................. ........... ...... G13 Woke bloke chokes.................................. H1
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CANNGRESSIONAL HEARINGS 2022 INDEPTH REPORT JANUARY 6TH: THE CANNSURRECTION
EDITOR'S NOTE: Although controversial in nature, there is no way we could ignore the hearings currently underway at the Capitol. As journalists we are bound to report on the facts, and here we present them for our read- ers to draw their own conclusions. It was a dark day for democracy. e Can- natown Cannabis Cup, once thought to be a model of almost superior sportsmanship and cra, last year saw one of the ugliest incidents on Cannatown soil when one contender, upset when he didn’t win, began what the committee has called a “seven-part scheme”
called together an angry mob of very, very high people, and convinced them to storm the event arena. Feces were smeared on the walls. Respected judges were evacuated. e results were nothing short of deadly. e plan seemed simple enough: create a diversion long enough to declare the results and judging completely worthless and out-dated, and then call the whole thing o , meanwhile claiming victory as last year’s nalist. “Essentially, he didn’t care about winning the cup, he just wanted the trophy,” said event organizer Barney Mills.
Men, women, and a few bovines, gather near the Cannatown Cannabis Cup prior to storming it like a castle on January 6th
to defraud smakers of their choice in the Sativa category. From the participants to the ocials high- est on the list, grower Darnell Chump made a concerted e ort across the board to change the numbers, tallies, and legitimacy of the cup nalists such that he would overturn the People’s Choice. However, with nothing changed by the award ceremony, Chump
Now a full year and half later, the Canngressional committee investigating the January 6th asco is gearing up to hold ac- countable those very high bad actors. “I believed my own lies” Will M’Bar testi ed that Chump, super stoned o his rocker, didn't listen whatsoever when M'Bar explained how voting, and tally- ing, and generally, numbers worked.
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“It was clear he had never personally counted past the number 30, entirely due to laziness,” the Attorney General said. “But there was no indication he was interested in the facts, much less, that he even knew I was there, because I’d really never seen him so stoned.” “I thought boy, if he really believes all this stu , he’s higher than an angel on Sunday,” M’Bar says in the video. “In fact, he was act- ing so high--in a real alternate reality--that I later asked and tracked down the same strain. Sure enough, it was Green Crack.” Some have used this idea to defend Chump’s forthcoming behavior, that having been so completely stoned, he may have actually thought he was right -- and therefore, entitled to walk scott-free (even despite inciting a mob to go kill those in charge of the cup). Because he was so incredibly stoned, they say, he lacked the intent because he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. “If that’s the defense, then he’d be the rst person to ever use it, and actually win, in the history of this country,” said Professor Zen Ghou of Cannatown University. “He’d have to be totally ripped to shreds to use that excuse, but if anyone would, it’d be him." Judges commonly tell juries that “willful stonedness” to facts doesn’t necessarily demonstrate intent, although it does when coupled with “inciting a mob of any type," as it’s typically dicult to overlook riots and destruction, especially against such sacred institutions such as the Cannabis Cup. It's not clear how Chump came to believe such a narrative, but experts say it may have come from watching 12 hours per day of Faux News, where it was the narrative, or perhaps from his small troupe of lawyers, who, given their unkempt appearance and demeanors, had likely been smaking through their own Green Crack for months on end. Direct Evidence Somewhat hampering Chump's claim that he didn’t try to overthrow the cup results, is a full length documentary covering those at- tempts. ere was also the full-length speech
made just prior to the attack on the capitol, in which Chump, on live television, personally instructed an armed mob to start ghting at the event center. en there's the taped conversation in which both Chump and his team asked judges to completely ignore the numbers and choose their own winner. When this failed, Chump sought to bribe of- cials with his own brand of edibles (turned down not only for moral reasons, but because they were cheaply made from sawdust). Not even a shred of evidence of fraud--the crux of Chump's argument--was included in over 60 complaints led to the County Cup Board. Accordingly, not one judge considered the claim as more than stoned rambling. A Scheme and a Scam e plot thickens as new details emerge, suggesting Chump was stoned--but not incapacitated--meaning he was sober enough to calculate the risks and rewards of nding loopholes. Just prior to the incident, he asked if he could just pay to switch out the judges of the Cannabis Cup, and declare the previous winners the winners. “We all threatened to quit,” M’Bar testi ed, “because it was totally not cool. at's exactly what we told him.” Also compounding Chump’s claims to an “honest” approach is the committee's revelation of his scheme to collect hundreds of millions from dedicated followers, almost all of which went to smaking weed or paying his kids and their signi cant others, none of whom appeared to have real jobs. “ e Smoking Bong” e latest allegation--one that could be the 'dab nail in the con'--is the widely-told account by some ocials that Chump asked them to "just declare the winning cannabis ain't legit and leave the rest up to me." " at statement is the 'smoking bong' they need," said Erik Potholder, former Attorney General. Plus, the committee says, they have 1000+ texts or emails that say essentially the same thing. "At this point you have to won- der, for anyone who doesn't believe this was a gri, what the f*** else do they need to see?"
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Cannatown News
AintMilk ain't a hit, they ain't gonna drink it
While not all of Aint- Co’s "non" products have been popular, all of them have been truly unpopular. But a new report shows that consum- ers have narrowed out one particularly horrible item, the dairly substitute, AintMilk, which has sold, by some counts, no more than 420 cartons. Some grocery store opera- tors say are sitting on full warehouses of
Insane Machine Sells F***ing Cans of Coke at F***ing Push of Button Holy shit folks, it's like a fridge of soda pop right at your nger tips. First they put Coca-Cola in a can--a can! Like freakin' soup. And then they made it crystal-clear for a while! Now hang onto your butts! Newly installed at the library parking garage -- it's a machine that spits out the cans when you put in some coins! Gee Wilik- ers! You have to see it to believe this shit, yo!
unsold, sour and cur- dling non-milk from the company, now resulting in a massive lawsuit against the corporation. AintCo was the darling of Wax Street not even ve years ago when lab and plant-based options were rolling out nation- wide. Building on the semi- opping success of AintBeef and AintNutsNHoney, AintCo’s release of AintMilk just over a year ago was seen as the next pivotal tier for the company, given how o en people were ordering milk at bars and res- taurants. ey began with 24oz bags of the viscous white uid and also provided a chocolate option. Within a month the trend was reaching not only hip establishments and co-ops, but even organic industrial manu- facturers making homemade cleaning solutions and dips. en people actually tried to drink it. eir reactions, o en
on social media, spread much faster than any advertisement. And consumers were not the only ones complaining. Former employees and current Aint- Sta (who wished to remain anonymous) spoke of their work with disgust. "Every day I woke up to squeeze thick beige paste from huge udders hanging from the ceiling," said an employee who quit recently. "Sometimes it would make me hurl right into the AintMilkBucket. And they would just tell me, keep going, yer puke AintMilk!” " e worst thing," added the employee, "is that I never knew what was in those udders or where the paste was coming from, or what it was made of. Nobody who worked there could tell me, not because it was a secret -- but ultimately be- cause they didn't know either."
Progress, Inc Successfully Reinvents Wheel
In their weekly inves- tor newsletter, Steem- boat Springs' manu- facturer Progress, Inc. announced that they've reinvented the wheel, drawing praise and criti- cism, as well as a lawsuit from the estate of Grog, a neanderthal rst cred- ited with ling a patent for the round entity, one which would take nearly 17,000 years to process. e new wheel "is just like the old one, but can also go in reverse."
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Cannatown News
Photos: (Le ) Work- ers at AintMilk squeeze barely- viscous beige paste from gi- ant udders into bags that will be sold at grocery stores. (Right) A local elephant swims in the Canna- town swimming hole with his human friends. A new ban will prohibit any pachyderms from joining in the waters fol- lowing a mas- sive poop inci- dent last month.
Elephants banned from swimming hole a er huge poo incident Following a terrible incident at the Canna- town swimming hole, involving what could only be described as “a massive amount of fecal matter,” elephants and their closest ge- netic relatives will not be allowed to use the beach and swimming area going forward. According to those on the scene, a group swimmers encountered a “gross spectacle” in the mid-a ernoon, partially washed ashore, partially still submerged, and unidenti able through the murky waters. By the end of the day, the explosively large fecal emission had aected not only adults, but completely cov- ered some children, to an alarming degree. And it’s not the rst time it’s happened. In fact, the swimming hole is world-renowned, tragically, for its widespread, recurring and devastating elephant doodies in the water. “I’m not sure why in nearly a half century we’ve been unable to come up with sensible elephant swimming hole rules,” said resident Reto O’Bork. “It’s incredibly dicult to feel safe and clean when people just let elephants do whatever they want, especially in what should be considered a safe, public space.” “C’mon, we live in a society here,” O’Bork added. Every time elephant swimming laws have come up, groups of menacing elephants have shown up and intimidated those voting. In one court case they were also able to overturn the voting results simply by crowding a fo- rum and blasting their trunks at full volume. e incident became national news, simply because those present stood strong and chose not to address the elephants in the room. “And the elephants apparently took it very personally and have been shitting in the wa- ter ever since,” said city park manager Cheri Poss. " is shouldn't happen every weekend." "Obviously not all elephants are bad, nor do we want all of them to go away," said Rever- end John Worlock. "But can we not all agree that they shouldn't be shitting on everyone in public? If they can't be trusted to follow the rules that everyone else follows, then why would they expect us to let them hang out with us anyway? Is it not madness? It's poo !" e ban goes into eect immediately but nobody expects even one elephant to comply.
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Cannatown News
Old dolls are randomly appearing, as a community freaks out
It happened in the middle of the night. “And just like that, there were two of them on my front porch.” Ti any Dean holds her stomach as she tells the story, gesturing to two little gurines cast o the corner of her house. e lay lifeless, one, with its head turned toward the heavens, the other facing the depths of hell. And for all we know, that’s where they come from. “Just like the folks down the street. Freakin’ dolls showin’ up outta nowheres. And we don't like it.” Others in the neighborhood don’t know quite what to make of it, and it’s clear, this is the story. A maddening fear de nes both the zeitgeist of the hour, and psychological paralysis that prevails in Terpenia Heights, a sleepy, outlying suburb east of Cannatown. “At rst I thought it was a high joke, ndin’ these dolls out on the tire pile,” says local gas pump worker Freddy Miles, “but then I real- ized, they was starin’ at me. Eye to eye. Just like this . Like they knew all the stu I’dun.”
Confusion and unquenchable suspicion linger everywhere; a once neighborly people now watch over their backs, unsure if they can trust the very people behind their rose bushes. “Dolls, dolls, that’s all I hear ‘bout,” says detective Wilder Maury. “Why couldn’t it be hamburgers, or crisp 20-dollar bills?” Maury says there's no leads, and absolutely nothing known about the dolls. ey're made of porcelain, smell musty, and look soul-less. “People are so disturbed, they barely trust their own family members, much less, them- selves. It’s crossed a line,” he warns. So far, the sudden overnight abundance of dolls appearing throughout the small town weighs heavily during day-to-day activities for residents -- and there are signs it may also be a ecting tourism. “People drive through here, and all them lifeless faces laying around, and they’re gone in a heartbeat,” Miles says. “Whereas, I don’t feel like I can leave, since they seem t'know what I’dun.”
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"BUDDHA GRASS" - by W. GOODWIN We arise in the predawn darkness fearing another disappointment. Are the clouds of the previous three days still blocking the giant peaks from our hungry eyes? Barefoot, we cross the dirt oor of the typical Nepali ‘guest house’ and step out into the cold air… Not a cloud in the blue-black sky! e astonishing mass of 26,795- foot Dhaulagiri looms over us, her eastern face already radiant in the sun. Shivering, we turn around and stare at the ragged silhouette of the Annapurna massif. Between the two giant mountains and in the gorge far below us, the Kali Gandaki River roars through its gorge. We hurry back inside, boot-up and stow our stu . Packs once again on our backs, we hit the still-dark trail slugging water and scar ng down granola bars. We are hiking the steep sides of the planet’s deepest river gorge on a footpath connecting Nepal and Tibet. We never know what we will see next on the trail: a pushy crowd of brown yaks, a herd of long-haired goats, barefoot por- ters with ling cabinets on their backs, women hauling thirty-kilo bundles of wood, robed monks chanting as they trek, itinerant sadhus with ashing eyes… We nally emerge from the Kali Gandaki gorge into the un ltered light of the high Ti- betan plateau. Being in the rain shadow of the Himalaya, the terrain spreading out before us is brown and deforested, the only green being scattered rice terraces. We have entered the ancient and secretive province of Mustang. Around mid-aernoon, two sa ron-robed monks approach us on the trail. ey are ac- companied by an unusual honey-brown yak carrying four large woven bags on its back. e monks stop and attempt to speak with us. ey know about four words of English and we know not a single word of whatever language they speak. Aer fruitless attempts to understand each another, one of the monks reaches into a bag on the yak’s back and extracts what looks like a dried-out, cornhusk-covered tamale wrapped tightly with a thin vine. A twinkle in his eye, the monk removes the vine from the dehydrated ‘tamale’ and carefully peels back the husk to expose a core of desic- cated plant material. To my eye it looks like very old marijuana. With a serious, almost formal
look on his face, the monk hands the ‘tamale’ to me. My trail mate and I peer closely at it. Greyish in color, it looks like a few cannabis tops have been crushed together, stems, seeds and all, and dried for years. Breaking the bundle open a little, I sni it… vague scent of dust is all I get. It is so compressed and dried-out I cannot sepa- rate out a single stem. It was the least promising cannabis I have ever seen. e monks manage to convey they would like to sell us some. eir price is so low we buy a couple of the super-desiccated ‘tamales’ just to be good sports. e monks jabber at us and smile through missing teeth, we jabber at them and smile back. en we part ways. As they disappear behind us, I almost throw the cornhusk-wrapped junk into a ditch, but looking around at the spectacular high-altitude vistas surrounding us, I decide to hold onto the ‘tamales’ a little longer. Later that day we decide to try the Buddha Grass, a name I made up on the spot (literally two miles high) for a strain I have never seen listed anywhere, not even on Cannapages. I sus- pected it might be good for a laugh and probably a lot of coughing, but not much more. I pry open one of the ‘tamales’ and pull back the husk. I break o a nub and crumble the dusty material between my ngers. I stu it into our pipe and re it up. Each of us takes a hit. It is surprisingly smooth but tasteless. I hold the smoke in my lungs for ten seconds and just as I exhale, hallucinations begin swarming my brain. I fall into some sort of waking dream where the most bizarre things occur… Hours later I return to reality. I look around and discover I am inside a cave cut into a low cli . My buddy is rolled up against a wall. Hopefully he is still alive. An almost naked man sits on his haunches watching us. Later aer my buddy awakens we learn this man found us wandering and incoherent. We are, apparently, in his home. To this day, that Buddha Grass remains the most hallucinatory, mind-bending cannabis I have ever smoked. We tried without success to nd more. Maybe it was the language barrier, or perhaps those monks were the only people on the planet with a stash of that innocent-looking stu , but for whatever reason, those ‘tamales’ were the only Buddha Grass I ever tasted.
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membership and touring a foreign continent. In hindsight, that they pulled the tour o is no surprise considering what they had already undergone and would later accomplish, but in the moment, logistical aspects were anything but smooth sailing. at the results sound so perfect and encapsulate an entire career that had yet to completely unfold is its true beauty. e tour has since gone on to be released in full on CD. Volume two of the immensely successful original release dropped in 2011. It's also seen recent record store day features, and the entirety of the four-night, tour- concluding Lyceum run will soon become available on a 24-LP set. is is the Grateful Dead, and the 22-show spring jaunt back in Europe '72 is the gi that keeps on giving.
Album Notes from Erickson “The Soundtrack to your Chill”
Grateful Dead Europe '72, Vol. 1 & 2 is past May of- fered an opportunity to celebrate a tour that concluded 50 years ago, has since become immortal-
ized on numerous releases and gone down in the annals as one of the nest in the career of a band known for their live performances. Just like public opinion on the San Francisco pioneers, that of this transatlantic run has only grown over time. Deservingly. e spring of '72 was a period of transition for the Grateful Dead. It marked the last tour with original keyboardist and blues-focused organ playing of Ron "Pigpen" McKernan. It also featured his then counterpart and future replacement Keith Godchaux, who had joined a few months prior and was followed shortly thereaer by his wife Donna on vocals. e Dead embraced Keith's piano and its prominence sent them in a new direction as a band, which, combined with the departure of second drummer Mickey Hart a year earlier, provided fertile ground for the streamlined "classic" '72-'74 era notable for its nimbleness and clarity. I am not alone in the fanbase of those born years later who "understood" the Dead because of shows like these. Yes, it's easier to grab on to than some of those '60s explorations or '80s drums/space, but it's also ridiculously good. e spring tour would be immortalized that November on Europe '72 . Choice cuts of concert staples and others that would soon ll that role, many of which never had studio versions formally released, made for a triple LP representing a band at (one of) the peaks of its powers while simultaneously adjusting
MJ Lenderman Boat Songs
MJ had me hooked from "Jordan." Jordan wanted to sign with Adidas for shoes But Nike gave him an o er that he could not refuse It wasn't a pizza that poisoned him in Utah, with a hotel bill to prove ree thousand dollars on just ve dudes I bought fake Jordans, they weren't even shoes Oh, he looked so sick It was all over the news But it wasn't the pizza and it wasn't the u Yeah, I love drinking too, I love drinking too William Blake it is not, but so constitutes "Hangover Game," the rst track on MJ Len- derman's Boat Songs . Most sports fans my age will be intimately familiar with game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals. Whether those from that generation or any other will enjoy the Ashe- ville resident's third solo release as much as me, I cannot say. But if you're into chill, lo- , 90s indie leaning tunes with tongue-in-cheek lyrics and a slacker vibe, you just might.
Vol 8. Edition 6
News from CannaTown
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Recipes from Cousin D
Homemade Reese's Twinkies ere may be no better summer fair food than a homemade Twinkie of sorts, and today we're making them chocolate with marshmallow peanutbutter lling. Yes, they are precisely as addictive as they appear. Ingredients e Cake 6 eggs 2 cups of our 3 tbsp (heaping) cocoa powder 1 tsp salt Unavored gelatin pack (Knox) 1 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup vegetable oil (infused)
1 tbsp baking powder Vanilla (Good splash) 1 cup water 1 bag chocolate chips e Filling 10oz bag of marshmallows 1/2 cup corn syrup 1 cup peanut butter e Drizzle 1 bag white chocolate chips 1/2 cup peanut butter
ese are sponge cakes! Be patient and careful; when cooled, you may have to trim what becomes the bottom of the cake to be at. Keep those scraps (they are deliciously strong). Using a toothpick (or similar), hollow out three holes on each before you pipe in the lling--just makes it easier. Melt the marsh- mallows, corn syrup and peanut butter in a pan until it becomes a thick goo. Fill piping bag with a lling tip. Put a small push of goo into each hole. Flip and freeze (makes it easier to dip and sets quicker). When ready, melt the bag of regular chocolate chips, and dip each upside-down in molten chocolate. Next, the drizzle. Melt the white chocolate, milk and peanut butter; It should be pretty smooth and silky. Decorate the tops as you see t -- lattice or your choice of design. You're done! Serve and enjoy. It doesn’t matter the dosage you choose -- these little snack cakes will disappear fast!
1/3 cup milk Directions
You’ll need two bowls. In the rst, mix all of the dry ingredients. Gently stir in the oil and water until just combined. In the second bowl, beat the whole eggs until they look like they’ve tripled in volume. Preheat your oven to 325 at this point. Prep your pans (any type of Twinkie pan out there) -- depending on the type, you may or may not need some oil to prevent sticking. Gently fold your egg u into the our mix in quarter amounts. As soon as you see no streaks of color, you are done. Pour the batter about ¾ full in each. Bake for 30 minutes, rotate, and bake for another 30 minutes (1 hour total). Cool upside down until completely cool. Do not rush that part and yes they may still be dicult to release.
MEDICAL DISPENSARY 1 st TIME PATIENT SPECIALS
Page 16
$4.20 Cents
Dispensary & Deal by City
COLORADO SPRINGS Altitude Organic Medicine Apothecary Farms Best Budz Big Medicine BioMeds Briargate Wellness Buku Loud
Member pricing, challenge cone, 20% of non discounted non ower product 1st time penny infused preroll, 2nd time bogo shatter, wax, sugar 3rd time bogo live resin Member pricing x3 visits 1/8th @ $10 except for the "artsy" Member pricing (20% o ) Penny preroll & $90oz Pre-rolled joint Member pricing which is 10% o Free exit bag
Canna Meds Cannabicare
Member pricing, daily specials Member pricing, penny pre-roll 25% o rst visit 1st time 25% o , next 4 visits 10% o
Dr Releaf Elevations
Elevations Dispensary Emerald City Wellness EMJ'S Medical Dispensary Fire Meds
1st time quarter for $30, every $200 get $5 o $5 o , penny preroll OR penny calio sugar wax Member pricing & 2 free grams of ower with purchase. 15% o rst
Frost Harvest Golden Meds Good Weed Grant Pharms Green Farms Green Pharm 2 Grow Life Healing Canna
Member pricing Member pricing Member pricing 15% o rst purchase
Member pricing Member pricing $10 1/8 and or $10 g wax Member pricing, free pre-roll Member pricing Member pricing daily specials $10 1/8th/ member pricing Member pricing $25 store credit for signing over 10% o free exit bag $100 Gold Oz 10% o $5 o rst purchase Member Pricing 15% o Member pricing Discount, pre-rolled joint Member pricing Member pricing rst 2 visits Member pricing, $5 gram, free joint gram for 72 cents Penny pre-roll Free gram with purchase Member pricing 10% o rst purchase Member pricing, daily specials $1 joint Come in and see us!
Healthy Leaf Herb's Place Herbal Healing High Country Healing High Hopes High Tops Jade Kola Kanopya Springs Living Rose Livwell Lux Leaf Maggie's Farm Marimeds Native Roots Natural Mystic Naturaleaf Original Cannabis Growers Pure Medical Quality Choice Rocky Mountain Medical Strawberry Fields e 64 Store e Apotheke e Chronic Boutique e Corner Co Dispensary
Member ower & penny preroll Half price gram of wax or $20 1/8 Member pricing, free pipe and lighter Member pricing 20% o $75 oz Penny preroll 10% o and a penny preroll Member pricing $50 oz
e Epic Remedy e Green House e Green Source e Herb Shoppe Trichome Health Tweedleaf Vital Cannabis WTJ MMJ Supply Zipz
NOTICE: ese dispensary 1st-time patient deals are MEDICAL ONLY , may have changed without notice, and dispensaries are NOT obligated to give discount noted. Please call ahead to con rm special. Refer to listings section for phone numbers/addresses.
DISPENSARIES
A Cut Above
1
Ormes Peak
Altitude Organic, Tejon
2
Altitude Organic, Academy
3
Altitude Organic, Platte
4
Altitude Organic, Nevada
5
Doctor's Orders
6
Emerald City Wellness
7
High Tops, Royer
8
High Tops, Powers
9
12
Healing Canna
10
11
The Herbe Shoppe
DOCTORS
Garden of the Gods Visitor & Nature Center
MANITOU SPRINGS
Medical Alternatives Clinics 12
SMOKE SHOPS
24
13 Heady Hittaz
Mt. Manitou
14 Tree Life Cigar Shop, Delta
11
15 Tree Life Cigar Shop, Chelton
Pikes Peak
The Broadmoor Seven Falls
Cameron Cone
Sheep Mountain
Almagre Mountain
Kineo Mountain
Cheyenne Mountain Zoo
Cow Mountain
The Horns
Mt. Rosa
Cathedral Park
Cheyenne Mountain
Cheyenne Mountain State Park
Knights Peak
21
3
25
5
Palmer Park
1
CIMARRON HILLS CIMARRON HILLS
13
9
10
KNOB HILL
10
10
4 6
9
7
COLORADO SPRINGS
2
24
25
8
Colorado Springs Airport
21
14
15
115
STRATMOOR
21
115
25
DISPENSARIES
Doctor's Orders - Stem Beach
1
2
Lucky Monkey Buds
CANON Y
Rocky Mountain Blaze
3
Strawberry Fields, Nature Center
4
BROOKSIDE
Strawberry Fields, Interstate 25
5
6
The Cannabis Depot, Interstate 25
7
Three Rivers Dispensary, Santa Fe
8
Three Rivers Dispensary, Magneto
DOCTORS
9
Medical Alternatives Clinics
PUEBLO WEST
50
3 8
50
Saint Charles Reservoir Number 2
25
Lake Pueblo State Park
Saint Charles Reservoir Number 3
1
STEM BEACH
50
1
2
CANON CITY
50
BROOKSIDE
115
50
LAS ANIMAS
1
50
2
25
10
10
To Las Animas
6
5
NORTH SIDE
45
17
9
50
4
96
227
PUEBLO
45
1
7
SALT CREEK
25
BESSEMER
2
DISPENSARIES
239
Elevate 6010
1
25
Faragosi Farm
2
Freedom Road, Brickyard
3
3
Elevate 6010 Faragosi Farm Freedom Road Freedom Road Lucky Monkey Buds Native Roots DISPENSARIES 2 Clearance Cannabis 1 3 4 5 6 7 4 5 Rooted 7 Magnolia Road 6 Strawberry Fields 8
Freedom Road, Main
Masonic Cemetry
Lucky Monkey Buds
Central Park
6
1
5
12
TRINIDAD
4
7
13
8
2
Trinidad Golf Course
Jansen
25
Trinidad Lake Central Park
High Valley Healing 711 W Hwy 160 ............................................. Alamosa 719-206-3345 La Casa Cannabis II 5986 Budweiser Way........................................................... Alamosa 719-589-3503 High Country Healing 2 40 S. Main St ................................................ Alma 719-836-9000 420 Green Genie 106 4th Ave ......................................................... Antonito 720-580-0199 Green World Express 5230 Hwy 285....................................................................... Antonito 719-206-3265 High Valley Retail Cannabis 315 Main St (Hwy 285) ......................................................... Antonito 719-376-5251 Natural Mystic Wellness Center 204 E Main St ................................................................ Buena Vista 719-395-6226 Fremont County Cannabis 1505 Elm Ave ................................ Canon City 719-275-1000 Maggie’s Farm 3055 E. Hwy. 50. Suite F ................................... Canon City 719-372-1014 A CUT ABOVE 1150 E. Fillmore Street ..................... Colo. Spgs. 719-434-1665 see ad on front inside cover - cannasavers page 51 ALTITUDE ORGANIC MEDICINE 523 S. Tejon Ave. .............................. Colo. Spgs. 719-313-9841 6755 Academy Blvd N. ..................... Colo. Spgs. 719-203-4918 2354 E Platte Ave ............................. Colo. Spgs. 719-344-5121 3840 N Nevada Ave.......................... Colo. Spgs. 719-445-0136 cannacritique pages 40-41 cannasavers page 85 Apothecary Farms 3049 Delta Dr.................................... Colorado Springs 719-822-0420 Best Budz 3729 Austin Bluffs Pkwy .................................. Colorado Springs 719-598-0168 Best Meds 2606 W Colorado Ave Ste 200 ....................... Colorado Springs 719-375-5840 Big Medicine Cannabissary Dispensary 2909 N. El Paso St ................................................ Colorado Springs 719-418-3854 BioMeds 2301 Rand Ave ...................................................... Colorado Springs 719-344-8289 Bobby Brown Best Buds 506 S Nevada Ave................................................. Colorado Springs 719-645-8058 Briargate Wellness Center 890 Dublin Blvd. Suite C........................................ Colorado Springs 719-598-3510 Buku Loud 3079 S Academy Blvd ........................................... Colorado Springs 719-391-2858 Canna Meds Wellness Center 2218 Academy Pl................................................... Colorado Springs 719-635-6336 506 N. Chelton Ave................................................ Colorado Springs 719-638-6337 Cannabicare 1466 Woolsey Heights ................................ Colorado Springs 719-573-2262 Dabarado 5156 Centennial Blvd ............................................ Colorado Springs 719-308-2175 Including Colorado Springs, Durango, Pueblo/Pueblo West & Trinidad Also Alamosa, Alma, Antonio, Buena Vista, Canon City, Cortez, Crestone, Dinosaur, Divide, Fairplay, Fort Garland, Las Animas, Leadville, Mancos, Manitou Springs, Mo at, Montrose, Ordway, Pagosa Springs, Palmer Lake, Penrose, Ridgway, Rocky Ford, Salida, San Luis, Telluride & Walsenburg Every attempt has been made to insure the accuracy of these listings and their inclusion. CANNAPAGES.COM does not accept responsibility or liability for any omissions or errors in your listing. For changes in your listing (name, address and telephone nunber), please contact us directly at 720-339-2259 or email info@cannapages.com. For complete & searchable Colorado dispensary listings visit www.cannapages.com RECREATIONAL + MEDICAL RECREATIONAL MEDICAL KEY: DISPENSARIES ALAMOSA COLORADO SPRINGS PAGE 23
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MED REC MED+REC
Dispensaries | CANNAPAGES.COM
COLORADO SPRINGS
DOCTORS ORDERS 2106 E. Boulder Street ..................... Colo. Spgs. 719-634-8808 cannaportrait page 35 see ad below - cannasavers page 53 Dr. Releaf 2639 E. Willamette Avenue ................................... Colorado Springs 719-635-0929 815 Wooten Rd...................................................... Colorado Springs 719-635-0929 Elevations Dispensary 8270 Razorback Rd ................... Colorado Springs 719-468-6337 EMERALD CITY WELLNESS 621 W Colorado................................ Colo. Spgs. 719-358-6955 see ad on page 25 - cannasavers page 59 EMJ’S Medical Dispensary 2918 Wood Ave................... Colorado Springs 719-375-1907 Fire Meds 1428 N Circle Dr .................................................... Colorado Springs 719-368-6168 3615 E Platte Ave. ................................................. Colorado Springs 719-434-8817 Fountain Super Store 5421 Rio Vista Dr. ........................ Colorado Springs 719-394-8883 Frost Harvest Co. 1324 Garden of the Gods ................... Colorado Springs 719-598-3860 Golden Meds 329 Pikes Peak Ave ................................... Colorado Springs 719-630-5075 Good Weed 601 E Las Vegas Street................................ Colorado Springs 719-344-5325 Grant Pharms 320 Prairie Rd........................................................ Colorado Springs 719-387-1633 1591 E Cheyenne Mountain Blvd .......................... Colorado Springs 719-387-1634 Green Farms 3629 Galley Rd........................................... Colorado Springs 719-424-7028
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MED REC MED+REC
CANNAPAGES.COM | Dispensaries
COLORADO SPRINGS
Green Pharm 2 4335 N. Academy Blvd Suite 100 ........... Colorado Springs 719-598-8245 Grow Life 115 E Garden of the Gods Rd.......................... Colorado Springs 719-635-1700 Headmaster 3410 N. Prospect Street ........................................ Colorado Springs 719-344-5021 319 Bonfoy Ave ..................................................... Colorado Springs 719-694-8000 HEALING CANNA (Bijou) 3692 E. Bijou St.................... Colo. Spgs. 719-637-7645 (West) 22 S. Chesnut St B............... Colo. Spgs. 719-559-4180 see ad on page 26 - cannasavers page 71 Healthy Leaf 3715 Drennen Rd........................................ Colorado Springs 719-216-5452 Herbal Healing 408 E Fillmore St..................................... Colorado Springs 719-597-0776 High Country Healing 1330 W Garden of the Gods Rd .. Colorado Springs 719-531-7079 High Hopes 288 S. Academy Blvd. Ste C ....................... Colorado Springs 719-630-2137 4344 Montebello Dr. .............................................. Colorado Springs 719-593-7191 HIGH TOPS 1022 S Royer St ............................... Colo. Spgs. 719-473-0279 2306 N Powers Blvd ......................... Colo. Spgs. 719-597-9333 see ad on page 25 - cannasavers page 67 Indispensary 3031 E. Platte Ave ................................................. Colorado Springs 719-418-3556 3044 W. Colo Ave .................................................. Colorado Springs 719-203-4592 3111 N. Stone Ave ................................................. Colorado Springs 719-473-6175 Jade Kola 3750 Astrozon Blvd #140................................. Colorado Springs 719-434-1138 Kanopya Springs 2545 Platte Pl...................................... Colorado Springs 719-344-9198 Levity Wellness 426 W. Fillmore...................................... Colorado Springs 719-266-5463 Living Rose Wellness 212 S 21st St ............................... Colorado Springs 719-473-9797 LivWell 570 N Murray ........................................................ Colorado Springs 719-574-8443 3234 N. Nevada Ave.............................................. Colorado Springs 719-622-6652 403 N Circle Dr ...................................................... Colorado Springs 719-597-4429 Lux Leaf 2222 W Colorado Ave........................................ Colorado Springs 719-999-5934 Maggie’s Farm 818 E. Fillmore ...................................................... Colorado Springs 719-358-8849 1420 S Nevada Ave............................................... Colorado Springs 719-328-0420
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MED REC MED+REC
Dispensaries | CANNAPAGES.COM
COLORADO SPRINGS
MariMeds 222 E. Moreno Ave .......................................... Colorado Springs 719-634-8285 Medical Cannabis and Partners 335 N. Circle Dr........... Colorado Springs 719-799-0516 Native Roots 3660 Austin Bluffs Pkwy ........................................ Colorado Springs 719-528-7143 (Gas and Grass) 1705 W Uintah .......................... Colorado Springs 719-375-5512 (Gas and Grass) 1003 N Academy Blvd............... Colorado Springs 719-550-0327 (Gas and Grass) 1433 S. Tejon St........................ Colorado Springs 719-434-7739 Natural Mystic 416 E. Colorado Avenue #100 ................ Colorado Springs 719-203-5094 Naturaleaf 5875 Lehman Dr #100........................................... Colorado Springs 719-264-6337 1004 S. Tejon Street .............................................. Colorado Springs 719-630-7300 2727 Palmer Park .................................................. Colorado Springs 719-368-7800 NuVue Pharma 2304 E Platte Avenue.............................. Colorado Springs 719-418-3859 Original Cannabis Growers 2625 East Saint Vrain Unit A.................................. Colorado Springs 719-475-9333
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CANNAPAGES.COM | Dispensaries
MONTROSE
PUEBLO
Primal 17 Iowa Ave ........................................................... Colorado Springs 719-344-5399 Pure Medical 207 W Rockrimmon Blvd Unit C ................ Colorado Springs 719-264-0800 8025 N. Academy Blvd. ......................................... Colorado Springs 719-634-7390 Quality Choice 2398 E Boulder St ................................................. Colorado Springs 719-632-5667 1905 N Academy Blvd ........................................... Colorado Springs 719-632-5667 Rocky Mountain Medical 616 Arrawanna Street............. Colorado Springs 719-337-6132 Rocky Road Remedies 2489 S. Academy Blvd. ......................................... Colorado Springs 719-481-9420 4335 E. Platte Ave. ................................................ Colorado Springs 719-574-4230 Springs Dispo 2845 Ore Mill Road Unit #6..................... Colorado Springs 719-633-8499 Terps Dispensary 1000 W. Fillmore Ave #105.................................... Colorado Springs 719-635-5556 The 64 Store 502 W. Colorado Ave .................................. Colorado Springs 719-602-0640 The Apotheke 2582 S Academy Blvd............................... Colorado Springs 719-392-1616 The Chronic Boutique 2727 Palmer Park Blvd .......................................... Colorado Springs 719-375-0745 3640 W Colorado Ave............................................ Colorado Springs 719-434-2401 325 E Pikes Peak Ave ........................................... Colorado Springs 719-375-8025 The Corner Co Dispensary 430 W. Colorado Ave............................................. Colorado Springs 719-465-1331 The Dispensary 2501 W. Colorado Ave #106 .................. Colorado Springs 719-633-1611 2205 Montabello Square #101 ............................. Colorado Springs 719-368-7606 The Epic Remedy 3995 North Academy Blvd .................. Colorado Springs 719-434-2040 2712 E Fountain Blvd ............................................ Colorado Springs 719-434-6565 1202 E Fillmore St ................................................. Colorado Springs 719-434-6562 The Green House 410 S. 8Th Street Unit B..................... Colorado Springs 719-344-5996 The Green Source 975 West Fillmore Street ....................................... Colorado Springs 719-633-1300 318 S. 8th St.......................................................... Colorado Springs 719-635-9002 2103 East Platte Avenue ....................................... Colorado Springs 719-302-2032 1216 N Academy Blvd. .......................................... Colorado Springs 719-573-5665 THE HERB SHOPPE 3020 W. Colorado Avenue ................ Colo. Spgs. 719-634-6337 see ad below - cannasavers page 81
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