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AUGUST 2018
THE DANGER OF Personal Growth Is Required in a Changing World Habits
I saw a cartoon a couple of weeks back that brought to light an interesting conundrum we face as a society. The first panel displayed someone asking in front of a crowd, “How many people want things to change?” All hands were raised. “How many people want to change?” read the next panel. Not a single hand in the air. Too often, we let our habits and “comfort zones” take over and stand in the way of making genuine progress in our lives even though we want change to happen. These behaviors build walls that at first glance are thought to protect us — and certainly do — but under closer examination can actually hinder personal development. The chains of habits are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. –Samuel Johnson As long as we are in these comfort zones, we never have to embrace situations that might force us to change. But even if we do want to change our habits, it takes a specific mindset to breach the defenses that guard them. Willpower isn’t enough to enact meaningful change. In his new book, “Willpower Doesn’t Work,” Benjamin Hardy writes that environment is much more important than willpower. The people in our lives, the thoughts we tell ourselves, and the structure of our living environment are the keys. In other words, change your environment, change your behavior.
The progress I’m referring to requires an environment that is conducive to new ideas and adaptive to change. A 2005 National Science Foundation study claimed that we have anywhere between 12,000–60,000 thoughts per day. 80 percent of those are negative, and 95 percent are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. Negativity and repetition are indicators of stagnation, and you can’t move forward if you’re stagnant.
What about health/exercise/nutrition? How hard is it to change those habits when everything is going fine? But what about if you had a heart attack? What about relationships? Maybe seeking the pleasure of someone’s company? I know that, as a young man, it was really stepping out of my comfort zone to ask a young lady out the first couple times. But it was a confidence builder to step out of my comfort zone and the best learning experience. You don’t improve habits or skills when you don’t have to, and your thinking is a habit and skill. Let me give you some perspective on how much change is happening. My father told me he and his friends, all of whom are in their late 70s to early 80s, discussed what were the most significant changes in their lifetimes a few years ago. One of their picks was indoor plumbing! Look how far we’ve come in a short time. Without constant growth, your habits — physical and mental — will have all the power in the world to take over and prevent you from acting on meaningful change. And in a world where the pace of change is increasing, standing still is really going backward. If you would like a free copy of Benjamin Hardy’s book, “Willpower Doesn’t Work,” send us an email or call and we will send one to you!
IF ALL CHANGE REALLY DOES TAKE PLACE OUTSIDE OF OUR COMFORT ZONE, THEN WE NEED TO FIND REASONS TO GET OUT OF OUR NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES TO GROW.
If all change really does take place outside of our comfort zone, then we need to find reasons to get out of our normal circumstances to grow. The best way to do that is by understanding how we frame our thoughts. Motivational speaker Tony Robbins explains that we change from either the desire to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. But when it’s “comfortable,” many people feel it’s working okay — no need to change. We all do; it’s human nature.
–Dave Shepherd
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DO YOU HAVE A LOVED ONE WITH DEMENTIA? THE BENEFITS OF OPEN-SKILL SPORTS WANT TO IMPROVE BRAIN HEALTH? GRAB A SWORD!
We were working with a client recently whose parent has early- onset dementia. Families who go through this have to navigate an emotional gauntlet. As they helplessly watch their loved one slowly struggle with symptoms they can't control, the last thing on their mind is how this affects managing the financial assets. But as inconsequential as it may sound, it couldn’t be a more critical time to solidify all the aspects of an estate plan and manage their finances. If your loved one is struggling with dementia, here are three reasons you need to have that conversation now . IT’S ACCURATE If your loved one is still in the early stages of dementia, then odds are they still have plenty of moments where lucid thoughts are prominent. Having an explicit conversation during this period is crucial to making sure all the wishes of the originator are carried As dementia progresses, the symptoms can become aggressive and potentially violent. The complex nature of mood swings or paranoia can create a hostile environment to discuss estate planning. Often caretakers will receive the brunt of the projection, which can have dangerous implications depending on the stage of dementia. The earlier you can catch the disorder, the easier it will be for all parties to set up a clear line of succession. IT’S ETHICAL In many cases, family members or close relatives will strongly object if you attempt to set up an estate plan in the later stages of dementia. It also provides a platform for vigorous objection in court if the family alleges criminal misconduct. Generating an estate plan late in the progression of the disease creates an ethical line that is very tough to toe. Spending time setting up an estate plan may be the last thing you want to do with your loved one’s remaining coherent moments, but it could be the most important thing you can do for them. Always consult an attorney or tax professional regarding your specific legal or tax situation. NOW IS THE TIME TO SET UP THEIR ESTATE PLAN out accurately. IT’S EASIER
Did you know fencing is making a comeback? No longer just for heartsick gentlemen of the Regency era, fencing is increasingly being taught in public schools, displayed in the pages of popular indie comics, and practiced among seniors. Plenty of baby boomers are picking up swords, or “sabers” — and it’s not because they’re preparing to fight dragons. Exercise is important no matter your age, but some activities are more beneficial than others. Research published in the journal Psychology of Sport and Exercise (PSE) suggests activities defined as “open-skill sports,” like fencing, can do more to improve brain health The difference between an open-skill sport and a closed-skill sport lies in the dynamic nature of the activity. Going for a jog is great for your heart health, but your body is doing the same thing during the entire workout. This makes it a closed-skill sport. The same goes for swimming; you might have different strokes to choose from when you jump in the pool, but your brain is focused on repeating the action while doing your laps. Open-skill sports require players to respond to unpredictable circumstances in unpredictable ways. Fencing is a great open-skill sport because, while you have to learn the right way to hold the saber and move your body, you also have to think on your feet and react quickly to your opponent's attacks. Researchers from the Foro Italico University of Rome believe that it’s the required adaptability that makes open-skill sports so good for your brain. You challenge your body with complex motor movements and your mind with fast decisions. In the study from PSE, the researchers reported that “the open-skill athletes used less brainpower to do the than “closed-skill sports.” OPEN OR CLOSED?
same thing than the closed-skill exercisers did.” WHAT’S THE BEST OPEN-SKILL SPORT?
If fencing isn’t your thing, there are plenty of other great open-skill sports, including tennis, badminton, basketball, and racquetball. What are you waiting for? Swing by your local rec center and find out what open-skill sport will be your new favorite pastime!
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BECOME A
‘DOG WHISPERER’ Train as a Pack for Better Results
Your whole family adores your dog — but not the barking. This issue can lead to feelings of frustration, and the more frustrated you get, the more your dog barks. It’s their only way of communicating, and they’re telling you, “My needs are not being met.” As Cesar Millan, the original “dog whisperer,” explains, “A barking dog needs exercise, discipline, and affection, Part of the barking issue may be due to pent- up energy. According to the humane society, “A tired dog is a good dog and one who is less likely to bark from boredom or frustration.” If you already take your pup on a morning walk, try adding in an evening walk. You could TAKE A BREAK! in that order.” EXERCISE
add it to your child’s chore list and help get out some of the kid’s pent-up energy, too. It may also be beneficial to practice obedience exercises and games that challenge your dog. DISCIPLINE To put a stop to the behavior, you’ll first need to change any of your behavior that’s reinforcing it. Any attention your dog gets when he’s barking — even yelling, “Rover, stop!” — teaches him to keep going, because you’re rewarding him with attention. Wait until your dog has stopped barking to give him any sort of attention, including looking at them. “To be successful with this method, you must wait as long as it takes for him to stop barking,” advises the Humane Society.
AFFECTION Of course, your dog needs love and attention to thrive — a lack of it could contribute to barking behavior. Reinforce silence by giving your dog a treat and an encouraging pat when she demonstrates good behavior, like not barking. “Our pups want to work for our attention,” Cesar Millan reminds us. “Allowing her to do that and to see your happiness is, to your dog, the biggest reward of all.” To make your training program successful, consistency is key. Enlist the help of the whole family to stick to the principles. Together, you can foster a calm, peaceful home where you and your dog happily coexist.
Inspired by Delicious magazine
Sesame Salad GREEN BEAN AND
INGREDIENTS • 3 cups green beans, ends trimmed • 1 teaspoon white wine vinegar • 1 tablespoon olive oil • 2 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted
• 1 small red onion, finely chopped • Small bunch of fresh mint • Small bunch of flat-leaf parsley • Salt and pepper, to taste
DIRECTIONS 1. Bring a large saucepan of water to boil; cook green beans for 4–5 minutes; drain well. 2. In a blender, mix finely chopped mint and parsley with olive oil, vinegar, salt, and pepper. Blend until combined. 3. Add dressing, onion, and sesame seeds to beans. Toss together. Cool dish, then refrigerate until ready to serve.
Investment advice is offered through Shepherd Wealth Group, a Registered Investment Advisor doing business as Shepherd Wealth & Retirement. The firm only transacts business in states where it is properly registered or is excluded or exempted from registration requirements. Registration as an investment advisor does not constitute an endorsement of the firm by securities regulators, nor does it indicate that the advisor has attained a particular level of skill or ability. Content should not be construed as legal or personalized investment advice or as an offer to buy or sell, or a solicitation of any offer to buy or sell any securities mentioned. Certain content was prepared by a freelance journalist.
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Is Your Comfort Zone Really a Danger Zone?
Fence Your Way to Better Brain Health
Does Your Loved One Have an Estate Plan? How to Get Your Dog to Stop Barking Green Bean and Sesame Salad Sleep Better and Feel Great
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RESTFUL NIGHT’S SLEEP How to Achieve a More
A good night’s sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your mind and body. One study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that the quality of your sleep is much more important than the quantity — that is, if you want to feel rested. And we all want to feel rested. So, what can you do to improve the quality of your sleep and get the rest you need? LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. This, above all else, is crucial to a good night’s sleep. Your body knows when it’s time for bed. Generally, you want to go to bed when you feel tired, whether that’s at 8 p.m. or 1 a.m. Whenever your body tells you it needs rest, you should make a habit of going to bed then. The more consistent you are, the better your sleep will be. WAKE UP NATURALLY. Jolting yourself awake with an alarm or radio isn’t doing your brain and body any favors (it can be stressful on the body and even elevate blood pressure, which is not good first thing in the morning). If you do need an alarm,
consider a wake-up light. Wake-up lights mimic the sunrise, slowly brightening the room, waking your body in a natural, gentle way. KICK THE SCREEN HABIT. You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it again: Looking at an electronic screen — a TV, computer, tablet, or smartphone — before bed is detrimental to sleep quality. Light from these devices is disruptive to your brain’s suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which helps regulate your circadian rhythm, and screen time before bed can throw off normal SCN function. Put your excuses for staying up too late to bed. Say no to “one more episode.” And all those emails? They can wait until tomorrow. Not getting enough quality sleep is harmful to your mental and physical health. When you get into the habit of following these three tips, you’ll find yourself feeling rested and refreshed in no time.
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