Can You Feel the Love?
3. RECEIVING GIFTS For many, giving a tangible gift is a way to communicate love. A thoughtful, meaningful gift shows that you are listening and want to give them something “just because.” It’s not necessarily related to materialism, either. The cupcake from your spouse’s favorite bakery doesn’t cost a lot, but it can communicate this priceless message to your partner: “I thought of you in this moment.” 4. ACTS OF SERVICE From folding the laundry to picking up the kids, actions speak louder than words, especially for those whose primary love language is acts of service. Taking the time and energy to serve your partner and do it with a smile is a powerful message of love. 5. PHYSICAL TOUCH The everyday physical connections you have with your partner communicate love on an important level. As therapist Virginia Satir said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” If you or your spouse didn’t grow up in a “touchy-feely” family, learn to express this love language by starting with simple gestures, like sitting close to your partner while you watch a show or hugging when you greet one another — and a few more times for good measure.
During his 30 years as a couples’ counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman noticed communication patterns among the couples he worked with. In his popular book, “The 5 Love Languages,” he distills these observations into five of the most popular ways people express love and makes them accessible for all couples. Understanding what your five love languages are and how they apply to both of you may help you better express love in your relationship. If you haven’t read the book, here’s a quick look at the five love languages as identified by Dr. Chapman. 1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Beyond saying “I love you,” words are powerful means to communicate love. Positive messages and compliments, especially straightforward and simple ones, can go far in expressing affection to a partner. Compliments like “You have the best laugh,” and “Wow! That drawing looks amazing. You are so creative!” show that you notice the wonderful qualities about your partner. 2. QUALITY TIME Being present is a crucial part of a relationship, and staring at your phone or watching Netflix while you’re together doesn’t quite cut it. Quality time should be uninterrupted time focused on your partner. It doesn’t have to involve an expensive date, either. Sometimes the best way to make time “quality” is to enjoy each other’s company in a comfortable, quiet space, simply talking.
If you’re interested in taking Dr. Chapman’s test, visit 5lovelanguages.com.
have a LAUGH
Kielbasa Kabobs
ingredients
•
2 pounds fully cooked smoked kielbasa
•
2 cloves garlic, minced
•
2 large onions
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1/4 cup olive oil
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2 green bell peppers
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Salt and pepper, to taste
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3 red bell peppers
Directions
1.
Heat grill to medium.
2. In a small bowl, combine oil, garlic, and a pinch of salt and pepper. 3. Cut pepper, onion, and kielbasa into 1-inch chunks. 4. Thread onto skewers, alternating ingredients. 5. Brush with oil mixture and grill, covered, 10–12 minutes. [NOTE: If using bamboo skewers, soak in water for 30 minutes before threading to prevent burning.]
Inspired by Good Housekeeping
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