The Stevens Firm, P.A. - October 2019
October 2019 What Matters Most 349 E. Main Street, Suite 200, Spartanburg, SC 29302 • www.SCFamilyLaw.com • (864) 598-9172
THE StevensFirm, P.A. Family Law Center
Remembering a Special (Doggy) Soul
• When Ben and I first started dating and I met Kryptonite for the first time, we were sitting on a couch at Ben’s house, and I watched as he jumped up on the back of the couch, approached Ben’s head, and begin licking it nonstop all over. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who liked a bald-headed man! It was simultaneously the funniest and grossest thing I’d ever seen. • For having such a fear-inducing name like Kryptonite, he was really the friendliest dog one could have ever imagined. He adapted to the introduction of my dog, Atticus, when we got married, and they became just like brothers. He welcomed the addition of my mother-in-law’s cat, Gaylord, following
Last month, our family lost another special soul when our 13-year-old Havanese dog, Kryptonite, passed away. Losing a pet, especially one who has been such an integral part of the family for so long, is always hard. In the end, he was suffering from multiple medical issues that, due to his age, were not going to be easy to treat and would likely mean many weeks of low quality of life in the best-case scenario. He had already been showing signs of doggy-dementia, so we made the painful choice to let him go peacefully with the assistance of our vet. To say it was one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make, is putting it lightly. But we’re choosing to remember all the good times we had with him through the years, and we wanted to share a few of our favorite things about him with all of our dog-loving followers. • “Kryptonite” was not a name we had anything to do with (I promise!). He belonged to Ben’s ex-wife before they met, but, when they separated, the dog chose Ben! Seriously … she left with the dog, but, after a week, she called Ben to let him know that Kryptonite (Krippy, for short) was sitting by the door crying 24/7 and wasn’t eating due to his deep depression. She asked Ben to take him, and he quickly became “Ben’s dog” from that moment on. • When our youngest, Dexter, was still a toddler, he obviously couldn’t say “Kryptonite”, so for many years he was called “Pippy” since that’s all little Dex could say. He responded to both names equally.
her passing earlier this year. And his favorite addition had to be our newest cat, Hoover, who was still a kitten when we got him and who loves to run, jump, and hide throughout our house. Even though his advanced age held him back, he loved to watch this new cat with amusement and wonder in his eyes. • He was a Clemson fan and religiously sat with his dad through hours and hours and hours of college football every season (immediately cleaning up any snacks that dropped from Ben’s hand). • He loved the holiday seasons, too, and he allowed the kids to dress him in jingle-bell antlers every single Christmas. He would even pose for pictures. • When we moved into our new house a couple of years ago and had a wood-burning fireplace for the first time, he staked out “his spot” in front of it each night and seemed to wait for us to light it just for him on cold days. We’re going to miss him dearly, but his impact on our lives will never be forgotten. We know we have lots of friends and family who are animal-lovers, and we’d love to hear some of your favorite pet memories. We hope you’ll share them with us the next time we see you or on social media. “Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life.” –James Cromwell
“The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” –M. K. Clinton
–Jenny (& Ben) Stevens
Reminder About Our Firm’s Communication Policy Our promise to you is that while we are working on your case, we don’t take inbound phone calls, faxes, or emails. Our Senior Partner, Ben Stevens, takes no unscheduled inbound phone calls, as we have found this makes him much more productive and enables him to focus on getting your case resolved faster. You can always call our office at (864) 598-9172 and schedule an in-person or phone appointment with any of our attorneys, usually within 24–48 hours. We believe this approach is much better than the endless game of phone tag played by most businesses today. Email is also an efficient way to communicate with us, but please
be advised that emails are not typically checked more than twice per day. If you need something quickly, don’t email — call our office and speak with one of our assistants, who will be happy to help you. Disclaimer: This publication is intended to educate the general public about family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice. Every case is different. The information in this newsletter may be freely copied and distributed so long as the newsletter is copied in its entirety and proper credit is attributed to “The Stevens Firm, P.A. — Family Law Center (SCFamilyLaw.com).”
1 (864) 598-9172
A Difficult Discussion
Talking to Your Kids About Cancer
As pink-clad products line store shelves this October in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, children are bound to be curious. Since they rationalize the world around them with what they already know, kids may ask silly questions like, “Is cancer contagious?” Whether you or a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer or you just feel it’s time to educate your children about the disease, answering questions can be difficult.
may need more comprehensive answers to their questions. A 5-year-old is going to have different concerns than a
16-year-old, so your approach must be different. However, regardless of your child’s age, always tell the truth. Focus on Prevention Education
These tips can help you prepare. Always Tell the Truth
Telling a child that you or a loved one has cancer can be complicated. To start, the American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends giving yourself time after hearing the news of a cancer diagnosis to process this new reality. Two-parent households should tell their children together, while single parents are encouraged to ask an adult with a positive influence on the child’s life to join the conversation. Remember, your child will be experiencing the same emotions as you but in a kid’s body, where hormones and developmental changes are already wreaking havoc. Monitor their emotions and offer them space and opportunities to discuss their feelings with a professional. When it comes to explaining the disease and its consequences, younger children may require fewer details and broader concepts, while older kids
A loved one doesn’t have to be diagnosed with cancer for you to educate your family about the disease and its prevention. Studies have linked prevention efforts, including anti-smoking campaigns and healthy lifestyle programs, to actually preventing cancer. (In fact, half of all cancers can be prevented!) Teach your child about the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, and excessive sun exposure to foster healthy habits and lifestyles. Organizations that host walks, benefits, and other events for cancer prevention and research can be great sources of education for families, too. The ACS has resources for families living with cancer or those wanting to learn more. Visit Cancer.org for more information.
Goodbye, Common Law Marriage The South Carolina Supreme Court Upends Tradition
Only a handful of the 50 U.S. states recognize common law marriage, and, as of this summer, South Carolina is no longer one of them. On July 24, the South Carolina Supreme Court ruled in Stone v. Thompson (Appellate Case No. 2017-000227) that the need for common law marriage had “eroded” over time, and that the issues those unions can cause in family court are more trouble than they’re worth. In the past, South Carolina couples were considered common-law married if they were able and intended to get married, lived together, and presented themselves as married to the public. Contrary to popular belief, there was no requirement for the length of time couples had to live together to qualify for a common-law marriage, and, just like traditional unions, common-law marriages had to be ended through a divorce. The new law states that from July 24 forward, couples who want to have their marriage recognized by the state must acquire a marriage license and file their certificate of marriage with the Probate Court. The court also stipulated that for a common-law marriage formed before the deadline to be considered legitimately established, the couple must demonstrate “mutual assent to be married by clear and convincing evidence.”
common-law marriage, now is the time to check in with a family law attorney and discuss whether a formal, legal marriage is best to protect the interests of both parties. Give The Stevens Firm a call today at 864- 598-9172 and schedule a consultation to ensure your future is secure.
While common-law marriage is not seen as frequently as it once was, if you or someone you know currently considers themselves to be in a
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Leftover Candy Snack Mix
This recipe from Momofuku Milk Bar chef and “Master Chef” judge Christina Tosi
makes great use of those extra Halloween goodies. It’s a quick and easy way to both elevate and get rid of unwanted leftovers.
Do You Have a Case for Contempt of Court? 2 Things to Consider Before Taking Action Even when both parties are amicable and cooperative, divorces are unpleasant affairs. But when one ex-spouse refuses to abide by court orders, violating their past partner’s trust by denying visitation, failing to pay child support, or exposing children to a paramour or other improper situation, things can get downright messy. If you’re the wronged party in such a situation, you may be able to take action for contempt of court, which, in South Carolina, means filing a Rule to Show Cause. Contempt of court is a way to hold your ex- partner accountable for their actions, and it’s generally considered a smart decision because letting violations go unchecked can lead to more misconduct in the future. A successful contempt action in South Carolina Family Court can result in penalties as severe as a year in jail, a $1,500 fine, 300 hours of community service, or a combination of the three. To maximize your chances of success in a contempt action, check off these two things before asking your lawyer to approach a judge. 1. A Family Court Order Has Been Violated A violation of your trust alone isn’t grounds for contempt of court. Rather, your ex-spouse needs to flout an actual court order handed down by a judge to be found in contempt. If you’re unsure of whether what they’ve done would be considered a violation, consult your family law attorney. 2. You Can Prove ‘Willful’ Contempt It’s vital for a contempt action to provide proof that a violation took place. For example, to prove a denial of visitation, you might take a witness with you to the visitation exchange site at the designated time to confirm that your child didn’t appear for the visitation period. It’s also necessary to prove that the violation was “willful” — meaning your ex-spouse intentionally violated the order and wasn’t forced to by circumstances outside of their control. If you’d like to start a contempt action but are unsure of whether you have a case or how to proceed, call The Stevens Firm today. Our experienced family law attorneys will be happy to help.
Ingredients
• 2 cups mini pretzels, coarsely broken • 1/4 cup light brown sugar • 2 tbsp granulated sugar • 1/3 cup dry milk powder
• 6 tbsp unsalted butter, melted • 12 oz mini candy bars, such as Snickers, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
1. Heat oven to 275 F. 2. In a large mixing bowl, fold together pretzels, sugars, milk powder, and butter. 3. Spread mixture on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for 20 minutes. 4. Let cool for at least 30 minutes and mix in candy bar pieces before serving. Directions
take a break
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THE Stevens Firm, P.A. Family Law Center
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PAGE 1 Remembering a Special (Doggy) Soul PAGE 2 Educating Your Kids About Cancer Goodbye, Common Law Marriage PAGE 3
Leftover Candy Snack Mix Do You Have a Case for Contempt of Court? PAGE 4 The Real Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Hayrides and Headless Horsemen
Halloween Celebrations in Sleepy Hollow
In 1790, a school teacher named Ichabod Crane was riding home alone from a harvest festival in the village of Sleepy Hollow when he encountered a mysterious rider on horseback. Crane, horrified by the horseman’s missing head, turned and ran in the opposite direction. The Headless Horseman gave chase, hurling his own decapitated head at the terrified teacher. Ichabod Crane was never heard from again ... or so goes “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving. This story, first published in 1820, has become a Halloween favorite. The legend is so beloved that in 1997, the village of North Tarrytown, New York, where many events of the story take place, officially changed its name to Sleepy Hollow. Today, the town becomes one big Halloween party during the month of October. Sleepy Hollow is home to many historic landmarks, including the Headless Horseman Bridge and the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, where Washington Irving himself was laid to rest. Evening lantern tours of the cemetery are a popular attraction, and Irving isn’t the only spooky celebrity buried there. Fans of the Gothic soap opera “Dark Shadows” will be delighted to enter the crypt of famed vampire Barnabas Collins.
Another highly anticipated stop for many guests is Sleepy Hollow’s premier annual attraction, Horseman’s Hollow, an experience not for the faint of heart. During the event, the 300-year-old Philipsburg Manor is transformed into a living nightmare, where vampires, witches, ghouls, and undead soldiers lurk in the shadows. They all serve the dreaded Headless Horseman and are determined to make sure guests don’t leave alive! But it’s not all scares in Sleepy Hollow. There’s plenty of Halloween fun for all ages. Sleepy Hollow boasts relaxing hayrides, tours of Irving’s home, live readings of famous Halloween stories, performances of a brand-new musical based on Irving’s spooky tale, and the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze, an incredible exhibition of over 7,000 hand-carved pumpkins.
If you want a real Halloween experience, you can’t go wrong in Sleepy Hollow. Just be careful not to lose your head!
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