Even George H. W. Bush has been accused, and he’s 93 years old and in a wheelchair. Who’s next? Stephen Hawking? This grave crisis will be addressed in the first piece of legislation to be introduced after the 2020 election of a Democratic president (and concomitant elections of Democratic majorities in the House and Senate). The bill will be called “The John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Edward Kennedy, and Bill Clinton Memorial Act to Ban Sexual Abuse and Harassment.” Also, in the wake of hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria, and the catastrophic destruction and loss of life due to California wildfires, a Democratic administration and Congress will take much-needed action. Stricter weather controls will be created with more extensive background checks and licensing requirements for droughts and low-pressure systems to prevent natural disasters under the “Fair and Equitable Acts of God Act.” All climate change that occurred during the Trump administration will be repealed. Human exhalation being one of the principal sources of CO2 in the atmosphere, a national “Hold Your Breath Day” will be instituted. The health care crisis, of course, will be remedied. First by providing “Medicare for Everyone.” But why stop there?
Democrats will further propose: Medicaid for Everyone Because, even with Medicare, you can still go broke paying health care bills. Social Security for Everyone None of us are getting any younger. Social Security Disability Benefits for Everyone If the disabled are differently abled and everyone is different, then everyone is disabled. Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) for Everyone Better nutrition would be good for us all. (Food stamps to be redeemable only for green, leafy vegetables.) Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) for Everyone The members of my family and all three of our dogs can be very needy at times. Unemployment Benefits for Everyone We’re all not doing a job at least some of the time, such as when I’m in a bar after work.
The Republicans will lie about what they’ve accomplished.
54 | November 2017
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