“Oh, come on, P.J.,” you say, “You’re taking this Angry Old Coot thing too far. The Democrats aren’t all that bad.” You’re right, you’re right... I should quit drinking when I’m at the keyboard. I get off on these rants... And, darn it, I’m almost out of Dewar’s... Anyway, if I’ve offended anyone’s partisan sensibilities, all I can say is that I can – and I will – launch a rant against the Republicans that’s every bit as vitriolic the next time Republicans are out of power and behaving like “ brokers in pillage ” to get back in office. Meanwhile, I’d better have a cup of coffee and sober up.
All religious faiths will be honored (with the exception of those that are anti-anti- Zionist, violate policies against teaching creationism, or otherwise cause believers to vote Republican). Students in grades K through 12 will have sensitivity classes from 8:30 a.m. to 9:45 a.m., study multiculturalism from 9:45 a.m. to 11:00 a.m., and then self-esteem until (organic, GMO-free, high-fiber, fair-traded, vegan) lunch. Afternoons will be devoted to anti-bullying exercises and sex education with an emphasis on harassment and abuse resulting from disproportionate power relationships with authority figures such as the sex-ed teacher who will be sent to jail after school. The new secretary of education, who has not been identified – and maybe never will be because he/she/they is wearing a black hoodie and has a black scarf over his/her/their face – is expected to declare that campus rioting will be required for all students at colleges or universities receiving federal financial aid. If a suitable, fascist public speaker – such as George Will or David Brooks – cannot be found to shout down and violently intimidate, students will need to attack each other.
Hank Blaustein | © 2016 Grant’s Interest Rate Observer. Used by permission. www.GrantsPub.com
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