And crime is a pro-growth policy. For example, shooting convenience-store clerks stimulates the economy... Jobs are created in the high-paying domestic- manufacturing sector at gun and ammunition factories. Additional emergency medical technicians, security guards, health care providers, and morticians are hired. The unemployment rate is lowered as job-seekers fill new openings on convenience-store night shifts. And money stolen from convenience- store cash registers stimulates the economy where stimulus is most needed, in low-income neighborhoods where the criminals who shoot convenience-store clerks go to buy drugs. Increased immigration will encourage voters to participate in the “identity politics” that have long been a mainstay of the Democratic Party election strategy. The practice of identity politics will no longer be encouraged by a Democratic administration... it will be required. A federal law will be passed mandating that passports, driver’s licenses, and other forms of Homeland Security Administration-required photo ID include the political identity with which the ID holder identifies. Criminals are a net budget plus, being less dependent on government entitlement programs than other groups.
For example: RW Racist White IB Indignant Black OUA Oppressed Undocumented Alien BHL Bleeding-Heart Liberal AOC Angry Old Coot PS Precious Snowflake NTR Never-Trump Republican SWW40C Spacey Woman With 40 Cats LCDOE Last Conservative Democrat on Earth Expect driver’s licenses to become as large as a Cheesecake Factory menu due to lobbying by influential Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Intersex, and Questioning (LGBTIQ) activists who are part of a social movement that is starting to look like a typing exercise, and who will soon add additional letters such as CMHNMP (“Checking My Heteronormative Male Privilege”) and GCOFGT (Girlhood Crush On Female Gym Teacher”). The Department of Education will work to broaden public-school curricula and make it inclusive for all identity groups no matter whether the basis for group identity is social class (except the 1%), race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identification, or just a general sense of being lonely, sad, and left out.
56 | November 2017
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