FORCED SHARING IS NOT CARING TEACH CHILDREN GENEROSITY THROUGH AUTONOMY
One of the most common principles of early childhood education is teaching children to play well with others, and oftentimes, this includes teaching them to share. While this aspect of education seems like a no-brainer to some, others have started to question the importance of sharing. In fact, this movement is taking the internet and nation by storm, one blog and social media post at a time, and it’s gaining traction with parents and preschools alike. According to Laura Markham, clinical psychologist at Columbia University and author of “Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings,” “Forcing children to share doesn’t teach the lessons we want them to learn.” During preschool, kids are learning to meet their own needs, and rather than teaching kids to speak up for themselves, forced sharing teaches them the following list.
So, what should be taught? Markham says children need to be given the tools to handle sharing situations. “We do want our child to notice when another child would like a turn, and to ensure that child gets a turn,” she said. “And when someone else has something that our child wants, we hope that she’ll be able to control her impulses and use her words to work out an arrangement so that she can use the object in the future.” When we teach kids that they can use an object for as long as they’d like and that they can give it to the other child when they are finished, we are teaching them the following list.
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I can ask for what I want. Sometimes, I get a turn soon; and sometimes, I have to wait.
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I don’t have to whine and convince my parent that I need a turn, because I know I will get it. When I give my toy to my sibling, I feel good inside. I’m a generous person.
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If I cry loud enough, I get what I want.
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I am in constant competition to get what I need.
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It’s okay to cry, but it doesn’t mean I get my way.
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Parents are in charge of who gets what and when, and it’s arbitrary, depending only on their whim and how dramatically I beg for my turn.
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If I make my parent miserable, I’ll get more time with what I want.
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I don’t get everything I want.
According to Markham, this helps your child learn patience and empathy, which may leave them better equipped to handle bigger situations in the future. Forced sharing may seem positive in nature, but the harmful competition it creates may rob children of the chance to be truly generous and communicate their feelings and desires.
Forced sharing undermines children’s ability to lose themselves in play while also plaguing their relationships with other children with constant competition. In the end, neither child gets to experience true generosity from their peer.
SPOTLIGHT ON JORDAN LEVINE
For Dr. Jordan Levine, the path toward becoming a physical therapist began when he was in high school. “I was 15 years old when I dislocated my shoulder playing baseball,” Jordan says. “I had to go through physical therapy. It was because of that I became inspired to become a physical therapist.” From there, Jordan’s love for the field grew. His experience made him realize how much time and effort physical therapists put into their patients. It also pointed him toward his future career path. After graduating high school, Jordan went to college with the determination and drive to help others the way he was helped. What does he think makes North County so special? “Our attention to our patients,” he says firmly. “It’s one of the most important factors here at the therapy center. Patient attention is something we pride ourselves in, as we know how important it is to get every person who needs and relies on us to return to their everyday lives.” Jordan has a particular passion for helping athletes. “It means a lot to help athletes get back on the field.” When he’s not at work, Jordan likes spending quality time with his wife, Liz, or having an adventure in the great outdoors. He enjoys hiking, camping, running, competing in kettlebell lifting, and anything that gets him outside A Dedicated Team Member
to enjoy nature at its finest. As a physical therapist, Jordan knows that while exercise is important, it’s equally important not to push yourself beyond your limitations. Jordan practices this himself while doing the things he loves, and he encourages others to do the same. We’re lucky to have someone as dedicated as Jordan on our team. He helps show what we here at North County Water and Sports Therapy Center are all about.
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