FOR PERSONAL APPLICATION These aspects of the study can be used in between group sessions on your own, either with your spouse or individually as part of your devotional and confession life.
Do Something During the week ahead, turn your learning into doing.
As Adam’s progeny, we all have logs in our eyes ( Matthew 7:3-5 ) and are unable to see how we threaten, manipulate and guilt-trip our spouse—but our spouse can see it clearly enough (!). This week, schedule some intentional time with your loved one, and ask them to point out to you the behavior(s) by which you routinely discourage or hurt them. Don’t argue with them about their responses, just thank them. Write down the issues they described, and begin searching the Scriptures for wisdom and instruction on dealing with your issues. This is a tough prescription, but remember that you love this person and want what is best for them—and your being a humble, open and penitent partner will go a long way toward achieving that goal. Search Me, O God For introspection during the coming week. Either before or after you listen to your loved one, read and memorize Psalm 139:23-24 . Ask the Lord himself to illuminate the “grievous ways” by which you routinely discourage your spouse. Consider specific , practical ways by which you can begin to effectively deal with these bad habits. Want to Know More? As “all marriage problems are heart problems,” it is helpful to survey the Scriptures for information about the heart. And God’s Word is rife with them, because “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”—see, there’s one! ( 1 Samuel 16:7 ) Whereas a simple word search will not work well for identifying passages helpful for marriage, the exercise will succeed in identifying “heart” passages (and cross-references are helpful, too). Look at a few each day (be sure to read them in context) during your personal devotions, and see if this practice won’t help you begin seeing your marriage issues as the Lord sees them. Here are just a few good ones to prime the pump: • Genesis 6:5
• 2 Chronicles 16:9 • Psalm 15:1-3 • Proverbs 4:20-23
• Jeremiah 17:9 • Matthew 5:27-28 • Romans 8:26-27
• Deuteronomy 6:5 • 1 Chronicles 28:9
For More from Paul Tripp, Read: Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Chapters 3 and 4
Session 2
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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