3. Tripp lists the three most frequently used apple-nailing strategies as threat , manipulation and guilt . Give examples of some threats you have used in the past, even though you may not have realized they were “threats” at the time. 4. Manipulation is a bad habit that inhabits pretty much every human heart. How do you manipulate your spouse with your words? And how do you sometimes use body language rather than words? Again, you may not even realize that your behavior is manipulative, but hopefully this discussion will help you see your tactics more clearly—as your spouse sees them. 5. How have you tried to guilt-trip your loved one? 6. Note that each of these three bad strategies has a good twin: God himself warns sinners, rewards righteousness and convicts us of our guilt. Compare God’s goal in his good strategies to our human goal in our bad strategies. 7. “Lasting change in your marriage will always travel through the pathway of the heart.” Why does heart change yield lasting change? How does heart change affect outward behavior? Unlike apples nailed on trees, how does this form of outward behavior glorify God and bless your spouse? 8. “You are your biggest marriage problem.” This may seem like a stretch. The statement does not imply that your partner has no problems. But consider whether some (most?) of their problems may be provoked by your own behavior, whether things that you do or fail to do. Discuss this possibility.
Session 2
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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