if you do that, you’re still not getting at the heart of why you struggle as a couple. Second implication, and I’ve already hinted at this. That means that lasting change in your marriage will always travel through the pathway of the heart. Lasting change in your marriage will always travel through the pathway of the heart. That’s where our focus needs to be; that’s where the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, transforming grace, needs to be applied to our marriages. Now, there’s a third implication--it’s going to upset some of you. And I want you to give me an opportunity to explain before you jump ship and swim home. If Jesus is right in what He’s saying in this passage, and He is-- because this is Lord Creator speaking--as a husband or a wife, I have to say this, “Fasten your seatbelts, and put on your crash helmets; I am my biggest marriage problem--it’s me.” I am my biggest marriage problem-it’s me. Now, I wouldn’t for a moment, here’s the amendment, I wouldn’t for a moment deny that you will be sinned against in your marriage; you’ve married a flawed person. Marriages can be tense, and ugly, and sometimes shockingly abusive. You suffer in marriage often, but hear this; even in light of that reality, my deepest, longest, most significant problem exists inside of me, not outside of me, because I cannot escape the truth that my words and my behavior are caused by me--by what’s inside of me. I can’t point the finger at you and say, “You make me do this,” because Jesus, who created me, won’t allow me to say that. If you are struggling with this right now, I understand why you’re struggling; this is different than we’re normally told, and it’s very, very humbling. But I want to say this, “You’re struggle, in this moment, is not with Paul Tripp. Your struggle is with King Christ because this is Jesus, in love, coming to us and helping us to understand why we do the things that we do. I would challenge you in this holy moment, I’m serious here; open your heart; let go of your resistance; fire your inner lawyer. Don’t say right now, “But, Paul, you don’t know my husband. Paul, you don’t know my wife.” I would plead with you, receive with humility and joy, what Jesus is saying to you because I’m convinced, if you have a husband who says, “In my marriage, I’m my greatest problem,” and you have a wife who says, “I’m my greatest problem,” not only have they deescalated the blame game, but they’re walking together toward real lasting change in their marriage. They now have hope! Listen, the portal to hope is helplessness! It’s when I say, “I need help!” Think about this, who are the people who get the best physical care--The people who admit that they’re a physical mess and run to an expert to get help; not the people who deny the problems of their body because they’ll never go to the doctor? You see, why don’t marriages change? Because we’re so busy telling ourselves that we don’t need to change. We’re so busy pointing the finger; we’re so busy keeping lists of one another that no one in the marriage is saying, “It’s me; it’s me, and I need help!” Now, I want to pastor you for a moment here. Wives, I want to start with you. Ladies, it’s going to be real tempting over these hours that we have together to sit there and listen for your husband. To say, “I can’t believe it; this is just what he needs to hear. I’m so glad I forced him to come.” Ladies, what a tragedy it would be if you sat there self-righteously and listened for your husband and missed the good things that God has for you. Ladies, I would plead with you, “Listen for you!” Husbands, don’t relax. It’s going to be very tempting, men, for you to listen for your wife. You are going to think, “Why does this man have to come all the way from Philadelphia--to tell her all the things I’ve been telling her for years? Now watch, this time she’s going to listen; that makes me so mad!” Husbands, it would be so sad if you sat there self-righteously and listened for your wife and missed the good and wonderful things that God has to say to you. I’m not here to give you Paul Tripp’s wisdom, because I don’t have any. But I am deeply persuaded that the Bible has things to say; we’ve already begun to look at them--things to say about us and the way we live that are transformative to marriage. And I am so bold as to believe that these hours we have together will not just be a big pile of marital information, but can result in heart and life transformation…Because there is One who is with us who is the ultimate definition of everything that’s good, and wise, and true, and faithful, and loving, and gracious. And people who open their hearts and run to Him, He will not, He will not, He will not turn away. Why
Transcript: Session 2
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
4 1
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs