a sudden, you want to be right; you want the other person to say, “You’re right, you’re always right! You’re the rightist person I know. I bow beneath your rightness, oh right one!” You started out serving the purposes of the Kingdom of God; you ended up with a deep allegiance to the kingdom of self. What a mess! How many hundreds of times is that repeated by us again, and again, and again, and again? This is an eloquent passage! Now, even closer to marriage, hear what I’m about to say, “The thing that is your treasure, whatever treasure controls your heart, here’s what will happen. Your treasure will either victimize your marriage or enhance it. Your marriage will either be victimized by, or enhanced by, what you treasure.” Let me say it again, “Your marriage will always be victimized by, or enhanced by, what you treasure.” Let me give you a couple examples. Let’s say you’re the wife in the marriage, and in ways you don’t realize it, you’ve attached your identity, your meaning and purpose, your inner sense of rest and well-being, to the order, and cleanliness, and beauty of your home. Now what does that create? That desire for order, and cleanliness, and beauty has now become, to you, way, way more important than it actually is. And so, you can recognize a dent in a pillow from 50 paces. You take crumbs on the kitchen counter personally, “I do, and I do; I can’t believe they would do this to me.” You follow people into rooms making sure they don’t make the room look like somebody actually lives there. You’re constantly uptight; you’re constantly critical; you’re constantly on people’s backs; you think that you’ve been singled out by God for the particular suffering of living with a community of slobs. You don’t have a slob problem; you have a treasure problem, because that thing has become more important than it actually is, and it is victimizing your relationships with people that you say you love. You actually invest more emotional attention and care on your physical surroundings than you do with the people that you say you’re committed to. It’s a treasure problem, and it’s killing your marriage. It’s not an ‘other person’ problem; it’s not a sloppiness problem; it’s a treasure problem. You see, a desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing. A desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when that desire becomes a ruling thing. Is it okay to want my house to be beautiful? Yes, but it must not rule your heart. Is it okay to want comfort in your life? Yes, but it must not rule your heart. Is it okay to love pleasure? Yes, but it must not rule your heart. Is it okay to want some control in your life? Yes, but it must not rule your heart. Is it okay to be right? Yes, but it must not rule your heart. A desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing. What is really ruling your heart and your marriage, and what in the world is it doing to that relationship? Some of you carry too much of a desire to be in control, and it’s wrecking your marriage. Some of you want to be right too much, and it’s harming your marriage. Some of you value possessions too much, and it’s hurting your marriage. Some of you want your way too much, and it’s hurting your marriage. You see, your marriage is always victimized by, or enhanced by, what you treasure! Or, think about this illustration--this is for the husbands in the room. Let’s pretend you’re the man in the marriage and in ways you haven’t realized it, your job is where your circle of treasure is. Your job is where you feel like you have a little power; it feels like you have specialized skill; it feels like a place where you get some credit, where there’s room for some advancement. Now watch this; you have to look up here; that means as you drive away from your job toward your home, you’re driving away from your circle of treasure. No wonder there are hundreds of thousands of Christian men, if they were really honest, by the time they get home, all they want to do is be left alone because they’ve not just punched out from their job, they’ve punched out from life. Sadly, this home doesn’t sit in the place where they find treasure. And your wife greets you at the door, and she says, “Dear, we’ve got to talk. You will not believe what happened today. I went out to lunch with seven of my girl-friends, and I have to tell you in detail what each seven of those women said.” Now, you’re the husband standing there, and if you are honest, men, you’ve been in these situations; you would say, “I have not one twit of interest in this conversation; you could not make me interested in this conversation.” But you know you can’t say that because you would be in trouble, so you’ve developed the skill
Transcript: Session 6
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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