and for our good we pray, Amen.
SESSION 7 Well, we said that we’re going to consider what it actually means to seek God’s kingdom in your marriage. Jesus says, “This is where the turnaround takes place. This is where the good stuff happens.” And I want to take you to a passage of Scripture that won’t, at first, seem like a Kingdom passage, but it is in fact a Kingdom passage. That’s what it’s about. I want to look at Galatians 5. Listen to these words: You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love. The entire law is summarized by a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you’ll be destroyed by each other. Now what you have here is Paul describing two very different relational lifestyles--for us, marriage lifestyles. First is the lifestyle of the kingdom of self, characterized by Paul with these words, “…indulging the sinful nature.” Now think with me; help me here. What does it mean to indulge? Can you give me other words for ‘indulge’? You can talk; it’s legal. When you indulge something, what are you doing? Spoil, satisfy, feed--great words. The word I tend to like the most is the word ‘feed.’ If I’m at the local Chinese buffet, which is my first mistake, and I’m indulging my appetite, you know that I’m not having one plate. Thirty-seven plates later, I’m telling myself that there are still more Asian delicacies that I need to savor. See, indulging the sinful nature is going wherever that leads you. Now think with me, if the DNA of sin is selfishness, indulging the sinful nature is indulging your selfishness--it’s going where it leads you. Now hear this; because sin is still inside of all of us, we’re going to think things that we shouldn’t think. We’re going to desire things that we shouldn’t desire. We’re going to feel dangerous emotions. If you want to destroy your marriage, go wherever your thoughts lead you; go wherever your desires lead you; go wherever emotion leads you. You see, the fact of the matter is, there are moments when you must not indulge those emotions. You must not verbalize those thoughts. You must not go where your desires lead you. Hear this principle--a good marriage is a good marriage because people in that marriage say, “No!” but not “No!” to one another, “No!” to themselves. I will not speak these thoughts because they’re destructive. I will not indulge these emotions because they’ll create harm. I will not follow this pathway of desire. Now you say, “How do I do that?” Well, God knew that your need was so great that it was not enough to forgive you; He has literally unzipped you and got inside of you by His Holy Spirit. So the powerful Spirit of God now lives inside of you. “Now unto him who is able to do exceedingly more than anything we can ask or imagine according to his power that is at work, (Where?) …within us.” So I now have been given the power of the Spirit of God, divine power to say, “No!” to those emotions, to say, “No!” to those desires, to say, “No!” to those thoughts, and go in a much better direction. Let me ask you the question, “Where, last week in your marriage, did you need to say, ‘No!’ to you, and you didn’t?” You let emotions carry you away; you expressed thoughts that you shouldn’t have expressed that the other person shouldn’t have heard; you gave way to selfish desires. See, a good marriage is a good marriage because people in that marriage say, “No!” Now what’s the cast of the relationship, the style of the relationship of the kingdom of self? Well, it’s manipulation. I don’t mean high-handed, ‘I know I’m manipulating you.’ It means this--because what I really want is my way, my feelings, my needs, my thoughts, my desires--what I’m trying to do is, by some means, manipulate you into service of my kingdom because when you serve my kingdom, when you give me what I want, I’m a happy camper, and I treat you nicely. That again is literally an anti-relational way of having a marriage, because it is not really love; it’s self-love, entitlement, demandingness, and manipulating you into service of my kingdom. Now, Paul describes a polar opposite way of living in a relationship, and he uses these words, “Rather, serve
Transcript: Session 7
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
57
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs