because God hasn’t promised to give you that. And when you name it as a need, you say, “I can’t be the man in this home that I’m supposed to be because God hasn’t delivered to me this thing that I need,” and you’ve locked yourself into marital paralysis. And you’ll come to doubt the goodness of God, and you won’t run to him for help. What are you telling yourself that you need, and how is it affecting your marriage? Well, Jesus says, “Why would you want to live in that nasty kingdom with all of its entitlement, with all of its demandingness, with all of its destructiveness, with all of the attention and competition that it introduces into relationships, with all of its misplaced treasure, with all its hopes and dreams that it can’t deliver, why would you want to live in the nasty little kingdom of one? Liberate your marriage from that kingdom.” One of the sweetest things that Jesus ever said as he stood in front of his followers, and He said, “Fear not little flock for your heavenly Father has graciously chosen to give you the kingdom.” Hear what I’m about to say, “Jesus, husbands; Jesus, wives, didn’t give you His grace to make your little kingdom work; He gave you His grace to invite you to a much better Kingdom--a Kingdom where mercy, and grace, and love, and peace reign, become normal.” Now because of that, He says, “Seek my kingdom and my righteousness.” Think with me for a moment, “What in the world does it mean to seek God’s kingdom in your marriage?” Could you write ten pages on that? Could you? Could you write five pages; a page; a paragraph; a sentence? You see, I think that we should refuse to use Biblical, theological terms that we don’t understand. We have to understand these terms. I hear people doing this all the time. Someone will say, “Well I’m just leaving it at the cross.” Well, that sounds spiritual, but does that mean something to you? What does it actually mean to leave something at the cross? Do you know what you’re talking about, or is that just a spiritual platitude that makes you feel better? Or, “I’m lettin’ go and lettin’ God.” Well, since when is it your right to let God do anything? And it doesn’t look to me like you’ve “lettin’ go;” you talk about it all the time. You worry about it. It is just a platitude. Or, we’ll hold hands in sort of a Christian, ‘Koom Ba Yah’ moment, and we’ll sing about seeking first God’s kingdom--“Seek ye first…” And then we’ll go out and put a thousand dollars on a credit card that we can barely pay the minimum already. You are not seeking God’s Kingdom at all; it’s just a platitude. And so it’s vital for us to understand; Jesus says, “All the good stuff in life, and that means all the good stuff for your marriage, is found when you seek My Kingdom. Abandon the kingdom of self. You seek My Kingdom.” You’ve got to know what that means, and that’s what we’re going to do next. I am going to ask the question, “What does it really look like to seek God’s Kingdom in your marriage?” Fear not little flock; don’t be afraid; don’t be discouraged; don’t be paralyzed; don’t be deceived, because your Heavenly Father has done this amazing thing. He’s graciously chosen to give you a much better kingdom than you could ever build for yourself! Praise Him! There’s a better kingdom for your marriage. There’s a better way for your marriage. There’s peace, and unity, and understanding, and love, and forgiveness that’s possible for your marriage. You can have a marriage way better than you ever thought possible. It’s found in seeking, not your kingdom, not your purposes, not my will, not my way, my feelings, my emotions, my needs, my wants! No! I walk away from all of that because there is brokenness, and division, and hurt, and separation, and coldness, and the essential death of your marriage. You can actually live in a marriage that has died years ago, and you don’t even know it. “Seek My Kingdom; there’s a better way.” Jesus died so that we would know a better kingdom of love, and joy, and peace, of unity, and understanding that’s available to us. Walk away from the claustrophobic kingdom of self, and run to His Kingdom, and watch what He will do. Let’s pray: Lord, it’s so hard for us to abandon our allegiance to the small, little kingdom of one. It’s so hard to keep what you say is important, important in our hearts. It’s so hard for us not to be controlled by treasures that will never satisfy us. So we pray for Your grace that we would walk away from that way of living and, by grace, walk toward the beautiful, unifying, transforming purposes of Your Kingdom. May we leave today, fully understanding what it means to seek Your Kingdom in our marriages. And may we not just understand; may we commit ourselves to live that way by Your enabling grace. In Jesus’s name we pray, and for Your glory we pray,
Transcript: Session 7
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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