I would like to say to you that this mix of our marriage has always been easy, but it’s not. We were from profoundly different cultures. But hear what I’m about to say; this is very, very important. “All of those differences, all of those differences in interest, in taste, and ways of doing things are not in the way of God’s marriage plan; they’re part of God’s marriage plan!” Every difference is intentional; every difference is an intentional plan sent by a wise, and good, and sovereign God, because the ultimate purpose of marriage is not your comfort, and your pleasure, and your little definition of happiness. The ultimate goal of marriage is holiness. And so God will yank you out of your comfort to put you next to someone who’s very different than you because He intends to change you through that relationship. Do you know what the Bible calls that? Grace! It’s grace. But it’s very tempting to make fun of the way the other person does things. It’s very tempting to denigrate their story. It’s very tempting to mock the extended family. It’s very tempting to think that you would have been a better sovereign than the Sovereign. And when you’re putting that person down, the way they view the world, their interests and tastes, you’re never moving toward esteem and respect, you’re never moving toward a relationship of unity, and understanding, and love. You see, if you’re going to have that kind of relationship, it begins with worshiping God as Creator. It continues with worshiping God as Sovereign, celebrating the differences, knowing that those differences are meant for your good. But there’s a third thing. You must worship God as Savior. That’s your spouse’s growth in grace. You see, you will soon learn that you’re married to a sinner. That sin will be revealed; it will be exposed in your marriage. And when it is exposed, you either panic, and you try by the power of your personality, by the logic of an argument, by guilt manipulation or threat, to be a better Savior and to change that person, doing things that you shouldn’t do, exercising power that you don’t actually have. Or, you rest in the presence of the Savior who cares more about the heart of that person than you ever would, and you look for ways of being part of the good that He would do as Redeemer. When your husband or wife messes up, what do you do? Do you throw it in their face to try to make them feel guilty? Do you tell them what a hassle it is to live with a person like you? Or, do you offer to them the same grace that you’ve been given and look for ways to be a tool in the hands of the Redeemer? Husbands, look at me for a moment. Guys, if your eyes ever see, and your ears ever hear the sin, weakness, and failure of your wife, it’s never an accident; it’s always grace. God loves that woman. He’s put her in a marriage of faith, and He will reveal the need of that woman to you so you can be a tool of God’s grace and rescue. You must not view that as a hassle. You must not view that as an interruption--that’s grace. Wives, if your eyes ever see and your ears ever hear the sin, weakness, and failure of your husband, it’s never a hassle; it’s never an interruption; it’s never an accident; it’s always grace. God loves that man. He’s put that man in a marriage of faith, and He will reveal the need of that man to you so that you can be a tool of God’s rescue and redemption. It’s always grace! You see, it really is true that a marriage of unity, and understanding, and love is rooted in the worship of God, because it’s only when I’m worshiping God as Creator, celebrating your hardwiring, it’s only when I’m worshiping God as Sovereign, embracing all the differences of your story to mine, it’s only when I worship God as Savior, trusting that He cares more about our sin, weaknesses, and failures than we ever will, that I can treat you with respect and esteem. Because when I look at you, guess what I see? I see God’s work. And as I treat you with respect and esteem, we forge together a marriage of unity, and understanding, and love. SESSION 10 When your husband or wife messes up, what do you do? Do you throw it in their face to try to make them feel guilty? Do you tell them what a hassle it is to live with a person like you? Or, do you offer to them the same grace that you’ve been given and look for ways to be a tool in the hands of the Redeemer? Husbands, look at me for a moment. Guys, if your eyes ever see, and your ears ever hear the sin, weakness, and failure of your wife, it’s never an accident; it’s always grace. God loves that woman. He’s put her in a marriage of faith, and He will reveal the need of that woman to you so you can be a tool of God’s grace and
Transcript: Session 10
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
66
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs