is there some way I can help you?"
Parents, I think we have grown comfortable with fundamental lack of character in our kids. I think we quit expecting them to be people of character. Some of you, as I told the story, are thinking, "Yes, like that's going to happen," because you're cynical. Sorry, it's true. You don't believe that God has the power to work character into your children and He does. And that needs to be a focus for you that in this period of time, as this child's world is expanding, that good and godly character would develop, that they would have the desire to do what is right in the situations and locations of everyday life. And that focus of character is very, very important. You know, this shocking degree of selfishness that you're dealing with, the shocking degree of laziness that you're dealing with, the shocking degree of covetousness and jealousy that you're dealing with, the shocking degree of "I got to be the one that's right and argue and create conflict just because I want you to tell me that I'm the one that's right". It's just these things are everywhere. Now, I think that we're very good at missing those opportunities. Let me cover a couple examples. You're teaching your children to share, okay? That's a basic rule, an issue of character that you want to develop in your children. And a couple of your children are in the family room and they're fighting over the Wii controller. Okay? You walk into the room. What is the question that you ask? No, it's not the question I told you. Ask the question that you normally ask. You're like Sunday school kids. God. Jesus. Wow. Yes, you know what you say. Who had it first? Now, this is a wonderful standard. Prior possession absolves you of all responsibility to love in the chair, get in the room first. Yes. You're teaching selfishness. I got to tell you this. This is hysterical. My oldest son, one morning, I heard him downstairs. Six years old or so. There's a rattling around. It was a Saturday morning. It was early. I wonder, I thought what in the world is he doing, he's making all kinds of noise. I went downstairs and there's a particular place where we kept all the toys that the kids normally had. And he had gotten them out and he was sitting there with his arms and legs around them all. I said what in the world are you doing? And with a look of utter victory, he said to me, "I had them all first, today, Daddy. Not going to be any sharing today. I beat the system." You see, that's a character opportunity and we want to do it quickly. We want a quick, quick surgical solution, so we don't have to actually invest ourselves in the messiness of teaching sharing. Teaching sharing will drive you nuts. Praise Jesus, you're doing your job. There's nowhere in the Bible that God ever promises you that this will be easy. Get a grip, you're a parent. You did the act. You knew what was coming. The Bible told you it would be a sinner. Accept your responsibility with joy. Don't try to make it neat and easy. It's not neat and it's not easy. It's a mess. Or you're going on vacation and what you want on vacation is self-parenting children, right? Because you have to parent in the home. You don't want to parent them on a vacation. You don't want to have to deal with the normal hassles that you deal with as a parent, right? And so you're dreaming of familial vacation bliss. Oh my, you're not 7/10 of a mile down the road and your kids are already fighting with one another. And you're doing this, you drive the van. You don't care who you hit. You just want to hit somebody. And then you launch out with this glorious wisdom. "I'm not going on vacation with people like you. You don't deserve a vacation. I'm going to turn the van around. I'm going to go home. I'm going to put your suitcases on the driveway. You can have a vacation there." What's there? They're not directly rebelling against your authority, but they lack character. They lack so much character, they can't sit with one another in a car. I mean, who would have thought that just getting into a car it would be such a source of war-making.
My dad would say this wise thing. The whole car is going in the same direction. Like I was afraid that I would
Transcript: Session 7
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
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