With the arrival of a new year we look
forward to new possibilities.
low end of
can find nothing to complain about.
Dissension will rack RAGE when
In the newspaper business thatmeans it
The town’s new flag will bear a peace
members suggest the group develop a
is time to stimulate our prescient senses,
symbol and a green tea leaf. Vegetarians,
dust off the crystal ball and try to predict
art lovers, antique collectors and people
In April, Hawkesbury business owners,
what will be making headlines in 2012.
from Vankleek Hill and Hudson will visit
Remember that these forecasts are
Hawkesbury for the first time in years.
written with tongue in cheek, so take them
In July, new industries will begin
collection systems. Rain barrel sales will
popping up all over the place. The former
must always be closely monitored.
Amoco plant site will be converted into a
High water rates will give rise to a new
In January, in an effort to save energy,
diverse, totally organic, environmentally
Salaries and benefits paid to senior
clandestine night-time activity – collecting
school board officials will suspend
friendlywork space where a wide range of
water directly from the Ottawa River. The
products will be lovingly and personally
officials are low compared to the packages
municipality will create a special team of
crafted. Acoustic guitars, tie-dye shirts,
paid to other hospital administrators in the
investigators to crack down on the practice;
cavernous schools will be silent except for
candles and macramé, all fashioned from
the health unit will issue a warning about
recycled material, will attract throngs of
the dangers of untreated water.
lobbying efforts against draconian
Marc LeBoutillier, who received about
The former Canadian International
$235,000 in salaries and benefits in 2010, has
pay freeze. The boards will guarantee that
Paper waste lagoon will be stocked with
park, near the town hall. At first, municipal
the measure will have no appreciable
$3,000 per year to pay his gasoline bills.
officials will be leery and will consider
The municipality will begin planting
issuing eviction notices. But no action will
because childrenwill be encouraged to use
trees and putting down sod in the lots of
receive as much as $758,000 per year, and in
be taken once it will be learned that most of
e-mail and Internet to keep on learning
easternOntario, most top hospital managers
the campers are very good soccer players.
whatever they are learning in school these
to town now that the municipality is home
receive about $300,000.
War of 1812 bicentennial excitement will
to a wide range of species.
The release of financial details last week
begin to build, prompting tourism
In February, the EasternOntarioHealth
In August, RAGE will petition town
prompted Ontario New Democratic Party
promoters, clubs and museum committees
Unit will hold special relaxation sessions
council to join the movement to legalize
leader AndreaHorwath to repeat her call for
across the land to concoct some connection
for parents whose nerves will be frazzled
marijuana. In a 4-3 vote, town council will
a limit on public sector salaries. She has
after spending too much time with their
decide to forward the notion to MP Pierre
In Alfred, poutine vendors will receive a
Lemieux. Ourman inOttawawill refuse to
federal government research grant to
take a stance immediately, musing aloud
that widespread legal pot production may
Hospitals across the province have made
had been used to supply British forces.
In March, schools will ban hard balls,
be good for farmers.
available new details on contracts they have
Hawkesbury council will be divided over
sharp-edged desks and recess, out of fear
Meanwhile, many will assume that the
whether to apply for a provincial grant to
somebody may get hurt.
find out why the town is named after
The health unit will offer meditation
will be a run on hydroponic equipment,
the Ontario Ministry of Finance when it
somebody nobody heard of. Ottawa will
and yoga classes to disgruntled senior
and potato chips. The number of UFO
publishes the list of public employees who
approve funds to Hawkesbury for the re-
citizens whose blood pressures will rise
sightings reported by bird enthusiasts will
earn more than $100,000 annually.
enactment of a battle. The municipalitywill
when they hear what is happening in
skyrocket, as will the number of sightings
The contract with LeBoutillier, who was
attempt to kill two birds with one stone,
of rainbow trout floating over the former
suggesting that the fictional skirmish be
Across eastern Ontario, a new seniors
bonus, and a performance bonus of up to 15
In September, a sandal-making
balls could be used to demolish the eyesore.
Retired and Angry Grandparents of the
$175,000. In 2010, LeBoutillier was paid
factory will open in Hawkesbury,
The ingenious plan will be scrapped
East (RAGE) will gather at—where else? –
offering back-to-school specials to any
because of environmental concerns.
TimHorton’s outlets. RAGEmemberswill
$16,872.86. Information on three other
In June, Hawkesbury will officially kick
childwho can recite a line fromany Joni
plan “Wimp Buster” demonstrations.
administrators is also being made available
off the Summer of Love. The Été de l’amour
Snow will be trucked in and mounds
by the HGH. Luc Séguin, vice-president,
theme will be inspired by remarks by
will be created, enabling senior citizens to
In October, Halloween decorations
Councillor Marc Tourangeau, who in his
show how, back in the day, they had to
will be the most spectacular ever.
$137,052 in salary and $7,319 in benefits in
Christmas message, pointed out that we
InNovember, town councilmeetings
2010. Marielle Heuvelmans, vice-president
after they had chopped a cord of wood and
will be opened not with the customary
of clinical programs received $133,892 in
in the world.
milked 40 cows, by hand.
prayer but with a singing of “What the
salary and $7,277 in benefits while Jill
Hawkesburgers will embrace the whole,
A YouTube video of a 75-year-old
world needs now, is love, sweet love.”
feel-good, touchy-feely sentiment.
woman snowboarding in a Tim Horton’s
was paid $110,405 in salaries and $7,092 in
Strays cats will begin disappearing; the
parking lot, with a double-double in each
benefits. The president of the Montfort
feral critters will all be adopted by loving
hand, will go viral.
in its waterworks budget, the town of
Hospital gets about $390,000 per year while
families. Gardens of wild flowers will take
RAGE will put together a travelling
Hawkesbury will consider imposing a
over previously manicured lawns.
tax on rain barrels. Nobody will care.
Ontario is paid $330,000. As of January 1,
Yo Yo Ma music will be played over
So, there you have some of the items
Ontario’s hospitals were subject to the
downtown speakers where happy
novels, rotary dial telephones, photo
that may be getting your attention in
Freedom of Information and Protection of
townspeople will assemble simply to enjoy
2012. Remember, before you start firing
Privacy Act. Hospitals disclosed the
the synergy of other human beings.
surrender cell phones and any other
off e-mails, these predictions are not to
information “as a way of demonstrating
The Occupy movement will move from
annoying devices before they enter a time
transparency and their commitment to
be taken too seriously, however, as they
Alexandria to Confederation Park but will
capsule, where they will have the
accountability among the communities they
move on to Montréal because the zealots
say, anything can happen.
opportunity to speak to real people.
38 500 copies
Bertrand Castonguay , President, firstname.lastname@example.org Roger Duplantie , D.G. / G.M., email@example.com François Bélair , Sales & Development, firstname.lastname@example.org Yvan Joly , Sales director (Hawkesbury), email@example.com
François Leblanc , Directeur (Lachute), firstname.lastname@example.org Gilles Normand , Production & Distribution Mgr., email@example.com Julien Boisvenue , Layout & Prepress Mgr., firstname.lastname@example.org
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