Vol 5. Edition 5
News from CannaTown
CANNASCOPES : Discover Your Fortune! Aries - eir insults kind of hurt, but they were right about the Jujyfruits literally spilling from your lips. Taurus - You’re not supposed to see the bride before you wed, sure, but don’t you think you should’ve met rst? Gemini - Something about the concept of digital trading cards of yourself isn’t work- ing, like you should’ve made more than one. Cancer - Sad to say, but the stars acciden- tally put your fortune in a cookie at the Southdale P.F. Chang’s. Leo - ere’s no better time in life, than ap- proximately forty-two days, 16 hours and 39 minutes from now. Virgo - Your date was cool to learn you have cats but she’s not gonna like that you carry them around in your trenchcoat.
Libra - is new business venture could be pretty lucrative, although, you’re not sure how much blood to keep for yourself. Scorpio - If someone calls you an NPC you’re gonna cut to the chase and ask what you should eat for dinner. Sagittarius - ey were impressed you were a “high roller” until you brought out your skates. Capricorn - Even with a news crew and Guinness judges at your house you can never tell anyone about the size of your poopie. Aquarius - You will inherit a collection of used paper clips. Pisces - Years ago, you woke up doing phan- tom hand movements, unable to tell what was going on until someone put a Hurdy Gurdy on your lap and you played F r Elise.
What Came to Pass News in Brief
New book tells lukewarm story of fancy cheese It was ten millennia ago, and a peasant had just gotten kicked in the head by a cow as it was milked. e thick cream, sitting in a sheepskin container, coagulated into curds and whey, the rennet unknowingly making possible the rst of the world's fancy cheeses as the peasant fell unconscious for a week. From farm to fromage, history was made. Now, the new book e History of Fancy Cheese , tells the lukewarm story behind the fancy cheeses we know and love to eat char- cuterie-style. From humble origins in dank, musky stables, to its place at royal feasts, this skunky tale answers all the questions human- ity has wondered about fancy cheese things. Stephen Miller sues M&M's for Infringement e former presidential advisor sued MARS for stealing and using his patented candy shell head for their M&M spokes-characters, a claim the company calls "mildly accurate."
Graduates receive participation trophies, Pg B4
Stories in Today’s Other Sections
Dieticians say avoid this one food if you don’t want to die at midnight ............................. E6 Russian Oligarchs advised against "Mineeld Falls" Excursion ........................................ F2 Billionaire asks ChatGPT how to replace 10,000 workers ......................... ........ ...... G13 Tupperware disorganized .......................... H1
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