Kollegen - lauter Menschen, die ihn mochten und schätzten. War seine ganze Psychoanalyse umsonst gewesen, ärgerte er sich über sich selbst. Er atmete tief durch, schaute in Katharinas aufmunternde Augen und blickte auf die freundlich lächelnden Gesichter seiner Freunde. „ Wie schön, dass ihr alle heute gekommen seid“ , begann er und merkte erfreut, dass seine Stimme nicht jedem Wort fester wurde. Erleichterung durchblutete ihn und er atmete merklich aus. „ Es ist mir eine wirklich große Freude, mit euch eine Woche in Portugal zu verbringen und gemeinsam meinen 55. Geburtstag zu feiern. Zeit ist kostbar geworden in unser aller Leben und es ist das größte Geschenk, dass ihr mir machen konntet, eine Woche eurer Zeit gemeinsam mit mir zu verbringen. Hier in meiner alten Heimat, die mir so schöne Erinnerungen beschert hat und mir das Herz wärmt. Ich bedauere es sehr, dass meine Mutter und meine Schwester nicht mehr unter uns sind, um diese Zeit gemeinsam zu erleben, aber sie sind in Gedanken bei uns !“ Bei diesen Worten huschte ein Schatten über das Gesicht seines Vaters. Die Verluste seiner Liebsten hatten ihn schwer getroffen. Just as he was about to address the assembled guests, he lost his voice. It was the disapproving gaze of his father that silenced him—cold, stern, just as it had always been. He felt the heat rising in his cheeks, powerless to stop it. Damn it. This was the one thing that wasn’t supposed to happen. Then his eyes caught Katharina’s compassionate glance. She knew. She always knew. How many nights had they spent talking about his father, and about him? And yet, even now—on his fifty-fifth birthday—that hostile, diminishing look still struck him with its old, annihilating force. You are, and always have been, a disappointment to me! the gaze declared. You will never measure up to me! And worst of all: Why was it your gifted, wonderful sister who died, and not you in her place? He shuddered inwardly, tried to gather himself, and cleared his throat, as though searching for courage, for a new beginning. Here he was, surrounded by friends, his wife, his colleagues—all people who liked him, who valued him. Was all his analysis, all those years of therapy, for nothing? He scolded himself. He drew in a deep breath, let his eyes rest on Katharina’s encouraging smile, and then on the friendly, expectant faces of his friends. “ How wonderful that you all came today ,” he began—and to his relief, his voice grew stronger with each word. Warmth coursed through him, and he exhaled audibly. “ It gives me great joy to spend a week in Portugal with you, to celebrate my fifty-fifth birthday together. Time has become so precious in all our lives, and the greatest gift you could give me is to share a week of yours with me. Here, in my old homeland, a place that fills me with beautiful memories and warms my heart. I deeply regret that my mother and my sister are no longer with us to share this time—but they are with us in
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