来， 并且总 是 用 一个很 粗笨 的 勺 子。她很想要一个和 同学 一样的小 巧 一 点 的饭 勺 和 精致 一 点 的饭 盒 ，但她妈妈 总 是 用 一个杯子 把 饭 送 来，这 让 她感觉到很 难堪 。 那时候她妈妈开 店 做生意， 总 是说他很 忙 ，没时 间及 时做饭 送 来。类似的事情很 多，她觉得不 舒服 ，但也没 法 说她妈妈有多不好。直到她自己生了小 孩 ，她也有 工作 ，有时候 从 上 午工作 到下 午 2 点 。她 每 天都 会提 前 把 饭做好，这样她的小 孩 就 可以 想 什么 时候吃饭就随时有饭吃。 这时候，她再回想起小 学 她妈妈给他 送 饭的事情， 心底 就 泛 起一 阵悲伤 。 原 来这 不是 误会 ， 真 的是没有那 么 上 心 。 “First I thought it was all just a misunderstanding.” This is what a new mother I interviewed once told me. As a child, she always felt that her mother didn’t really love her. She would notice how other mothers were so attentive—carefully dressing up their children, accompanying them to do all kinds of things. Her own mother, by contrast, always seemed careless, always forgetting this or that. In primary school, lunch was delivered by the parents. Her mother was always the last one to bring it. She would sit there alone, waiting, long after the other children had already eaten and gone back to class. Sometimes the afternoon lessons were about to begin by the time her mother finally arrived. And the lunch was always brought with a clumsy, heavy spoon. She longed for a daintier spoon like her classmates had, and a nicer lunchbox too. But her mother always delivered food in a plain cup, which made her feel ashamed. At that time, her mother was busy running a small shop and would say she had no time to prepare and deliver lunch on schedule. There were many moments like this—things that made the girl uncomfortable, though she couldn’t really say her mother was outright “bad.” It wasn’t until she had a child of her own that she began to understand it differently. She also had work—sometimes from morning until two in the afternoon— but she always prepared meals ahead of time so that her child could eat whenever they wanted. And whenever she recalled those schooldays, sitting and waiting for her mother to bring lunch, a deep sadness would wash over her. It hadn’t been a misunderstanding after all. The truth was, her mother really hadn’t been that attentive.
The day began with heavy rain. 像 往 常一样， Lily5 点钟 就 醒 了。 Lily 大 概 是 6 岁 或 者 7 岁 。大她 14 个月的 哥哥 也起来 了。
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