And so in inopportune moments, you’re trying to squeeze $1000 conversations into dime moments, and it never works. You know, your husband is running out the door to work, and you don’t have any time to have a conversation, and he’s got one foot half way out the door, and you say, “I don’t think you love me.” He turns and says, “What are you talking about? What brought that up?” “Well, if you loved me, knowing that I’m upset, you wouldn’t just leave and go to work.” He says, “I’ve got a job; I work! It puts food on the table.” “You go off to your job, and you just leave me here!” He says, “I know what I’ll do. I’ll call my boss. I’ll tell him I have a new job. I talk! Eight hours a day; five days a week. I talk! I don’t know how it’s going to pay the bills, but I talk!” She says, “Now you’re mocking me!” Now, what’s wrong with that conversation is--does it need to be had? Yes! Is there trouble in that marriage? Yes! Does love need to be talked about? Yes! But it’s an inopportune moment. You can’t talk about it then or it’s going to explode. And the reason you’re doing it then is because you have no time in your life to actually have a marriage, so you’re trying to squeeze significant, important moments into time when they can’t happen. You know that physical things, experiences, possessions, occasions, can’t satisfy you. Women, you know this; you tell yourself you need a new pair of shoes, and you go out on a shoe hunt. You hope that some designer has been wise enough to make the shoes that you’ve designed in your brain. And you actually get to a store, and you see them; you think, “There must be a God!” And they actually have your size; you really didn’t care because you would have squeezed your foot into whatever size they had, but it’s nice that they have your size. And you purchase the shoes, and you now walk out of the store in the mall with shoe-buzz--it feels good. And you walk six steps, and you realize you don’t have a bag, a purse, to match the shoes. The buzz didn’t last very long, did it? And so now you’re in search for a bag, and you find a bag that matches the shoes, and you think, “That’s cool!” And then it’s getting near winter, and you realize that you don’t have a coat to match the bag to match the shoes, and before long, you have six bags of things. And you’re wondering how you are going to tell your husband the violence that you’ve done to his credit card. Those things don’t satisfy! Or, you’re a guy, and you go with some guys to one of those ridiculous steakhouses that serve a piece of meat way bigger than any human being should ever consume in one setting. You say, “Yeah, they have a 48 ounce steak.” It comes, not on a plate, but a platter--it’s off the edge of the platter! It could feed a small village, but you’re on a mission. You eat the whole thing. You look down and even the bone is gone! You just hope you didn’t eat it. And you walk out of the restaurant, and you say, “I’m not ‘eatin’ for a week.” And the next morning you wake up; you’re actually hungry. It doesn’t seem physically possible that you could be hungry, but you are. It doesn’t work. I was the gardener for a very wealthy man; I worked at his estate, and he collected rare and antique sports cars. And his multi-bay garage was filled, and the road going through his estate now was, rather than two lanes, was one lane, because the cars were parked parallel down the road. I was at the base of the property near the entrance one day, and he drove in with a brand-new sports car. He hopped out, and he called me over and said, “Paul, what do you think?” I looked at him, and I said, “Benny, I think it’s not working.” He said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about; it’s a brand-new car.” I said, “I think what you’re trying to do will never work.” He says,” I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” I looked at him in the eye, and I said, “How many automobiles is it going to take before you realize a car has no
Transcript: Session 6
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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