4. A protective relationship is one in which the teen is not listening and does not respect authority. Whom must be protected in this situation? Regarding consequences, why are rebellious decisions particularly dangerous at this stage of life? In this relationship, parents must ask “scary questions: Am I able to provide those protections in the context of my home? Does he or she need to be in some place other than our home?” Identify some specific resources you can consult in these cases—and remember that people are resources, too. 5. Goal-oriented parenting requires time, advance planning and intentional training sessions. Reactive parenting, on the other hand, is typically driven by what? Which approach has the best chance of yielding long-lasting heart change? Discuss some specific, practical steps you can take to establish a habit of goal-oriented parenting. 6. Goal-oriented parenting addresses specific issues children struggle with. In the first nine chapters of Proverbs we learn, by the father’s emphasized repetition to his son, six such issues common to “youth,” which is the biblical term for “teenager.” The first issue is that teens do not hunger for wisdom and correction . Read aloud the father’s warning in 5:7-14 , in which the “she” he refers to is the “forbidden woman” in v.3 —a metaphor for folly . Does your child, for example, tell you that you are wrong, and complain that their “teachers and instructors” ( v.13 ) are stupid? If so, what does this tell you about your child’s view of wisdom and instruction? 7. As parents, therefore, you must “make wisdom and correction beautiful.” Read aloud Proverbs 1:8-9 and 3:13-18 . Wisdom is beautiful and most desirable, but what are some specific, practical ways by which you can help your children truly see this? Read aloud 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 and Colossians 2:2-3 (these are just excerpts, but they state a fact that resounds throughout Scripture)— who is wisdom? How can you help your children to see that he is beautiful?
8. (Tripp will address more teen struggles in the next session.) How Did It Go Last Week? Share your successes and trials with the group. (10 minutes)
What did you learn from your assessment of your child’s relationships? What steps did you take in rewarding their righteousness and addressing their faults? How did they respond, in both attitude and behavior? Did you make a plan to continue your assessments periodically?
Session 9
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
2 7
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