I mean, think of all this elaborate stuff that they're taking in and so this is a very, very important time because as the conceptual world of this child is growing, the heart is growing. It's developing desires. It's developing a way of looking at the world. It's developing goals and purposes. That child is already deciding. "This is the kind of person I want to be. This is what I want to do." That stuff is taking place. Don't think it's not. And what you need to make sure that this child understands, this is fundamental to everything you will do the rest of the life of the child is this. Get this. This is the big deal, the point of focus in this period of time. You must tell this child in a hundred ways that they've been born into a world of authority, that they will never rule, that they are never in charge, that this universe that they're born into is a universe under rule. And because it's under rule, there is right and wrong, there is true and false, there is good and bad, there is healthy and unhealthy because there's a God of wisdom who rules His world. And they must understand that God uses human agents as expressions of His authority. We'll talk about this some more. But, parents, you don't have independent authority. You have none. These children don't actually belong to you, they belong to God. Your authority is representative. You represent God's authority and so and in these early days, your job is to picture in the way that you respond to your authority the kind of authority that God has. You're supposed to picture God's expression of authority. Ask yourself right now. "Is the way I respond to my children a beautiful picture of God's authority," because that's critical, because everything that you will do in the mid-years and in the teen years is based on this child's understanding and willingness to submit to authority, right? Hear what I'm about to say. You do not want to have authority battles with a 17-year-old. Those battles are meant to be solved at this early age and so, parents, you shouldn't give away authority at this early age, saying it's just a little thing. Have the battles when they're little, so you don't need to have the battles when they're big. Now I can tell you for sure, fasten your seat belts. If you do that, you're going to be one exhausted parent because you're going to feel like every day is one big battle. Praise Jesus, you're doing your job. I'm serious because you're teaching this child that submission to God's law, submission to God's authority is not bondage. It's actually freedom because I'm living according to the laws of the universe and when I do this, life works the way it's supposed to work. If you got a Bible with you and I hope you do – if you don't, you've probably memorized yours – turn to this beautiful passage of scripture. Ephesians 6:1-3. 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "This is right," means that's the way the system was designed. 2“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now very, very helpful passage. This passage is basically defining for us God's circle of safety. When the child lives inside of this circle, honoring and obeying, things will go well and long life [we'll talk about what that means]. Now your job is not to exercise your authority, so you clone yourself and your child, and you get them to submit to being your indentured servant because you think now that you have children, you can be lazier because they can do all the work that you should probably be doing. That's a perversion. That's not representative authority. That's a selfish expression of authority. I express my authority in a way that teaches children that God has ordained for them to live in a circle of safety and good things happen when they stay there. And when they step out of that circle of safety, they step into danger. And when our children were real little, we would draw a circle on our patio just as a physical illustration. And we'd all stand inside of the circle and we'd hug one another and say, "Safety." And I'd tell them to get out of the circle and they'd scream, "Danger, danger, danger," and they'd all run back into the circle and laugh. It was just a way of sort of giving a physical picture of what we were talking about.
Transcript: Session 5
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
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